


Million Reasons

by Bulletproof_love



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Violence, Breaking Up & Making Up, Canon - TV, Canon-Typical Violence, Chicago (City), Chicago PD - Freeform, Comfort/Angst, Coping, Crime Fighting, Crimes & Criminals, Declarations Of Love, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, Family, Family Drama, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friendship/Love, Gun Violence, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, Love, Love Confessions, Making Love, Making Out, Mental Anguish, Mental Health Issues, Oral Sex, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Torture, Semi-Public Sex, Sex, Smut, Survival, Torture, True Love, Undercover, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Vaginal Sex, Violence, one chicago - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-02-23 23:57:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 54
Words: 67,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13201338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bulletproof_love/pseuds/Bulletproof_love
Summary: Life had given Antonio Dawson a million reasons to walk away from love but she gave him a really good one to stay.





	1. Down The Rabbit Hole

**Chapter One**

_Well, I'd hope that since we're here anyway_   
_We could end up saying_   
_Things we always needed to say_   
_So we could end up staying_

_Nickleback - Someday_

The street outside the diner was busy, Maggie O'Neill guessed it was from influx of college kids from the university campus down the street travelling to the nightclub across the way. The music was already pumping, she could feel the bass through the floorboards vibrating through the soles of her black leather boots. The song was new, one that she did not care for, it echoed in the street loudly causing Maggie to sigh out before she checked the expensive gold watch on her wrist. She didn't have long and her contact was already running late. She would wait only a few more minutes before she was forced to leave. She picked up her teaspoon once more and stirred the cooling coffee in front of her before taking a sip and grimacing at it's bitterness. It was clear that the coffee had been scraped from the bottom of the glass pot that was sitting on the hot plate behind the counter. The stench was hanging in the air as she watched the second pot stew away in the first one's place.

Despite the fact the coffee was awful and the place was an abysmal distance away from where she was stationed Maggie had never felt safer here. This was a place where nobody knew her, where she was unlikely to bump into those that did. That was a requirement of this meeting, for the cost of her life she could put up with the bad coffee. The bell above the door rang lightly, it was the most modern thing in the damn place. She inclined her head in order to view the new entrant, her fingertips reaching up to brush her sleek brown bangs out of her steely blue eyes. Detective Antonio Dawson stood in the doorway, his black leather jacket hung over his broad shoulders, a sea foam blue shirt clinging to his chest under it. He was carrying, she could see the slight sway of the shoulder holster under the frame of his jacket. There was no badge on his hip and she appreciated that, it would do neither of them any good for it to be on show. His dark hair was slicked back away from his handsome features, leaving that diamond stud in his left ear on show. He had had it ever since she had known him, it gave him an edgy bad boy look that appealed to certain types of women. He closed the glass door to the diner behind him, his dark eyes studying the layout intently before they landed upon her seated at the back booth, her delicate hands wrapped around a plain black mug.

She had forgotten how good he looked as he strode towards her, his black leather motorcycle boots creaking as he walked. That boyish smile of his tugged at the corners of his mouth as he slipped into the seat across from her, raising his hand to gesture to the bored middle aged waitress. There was silence between the two of them as they waited for her to arrive at their table with a mug and the coffee pot. Antonio barely raised his eyes to greet her as she poured that thick black sludge into the ceramic cup. His hands instead rested upon one another on the surface of the table, his head cocked to one side as he studied the woman in front of him.

Detective Maggie O'Neill hadn't changed much in the past three months. Her glossy chestnut hair was loose this time around, it fell to her shoulders framing her pale delicate features. She pursed her rosy pink lips before raising those pretty blue eyes of hers to meet his own. There was something in that warm smile of hers, it made his heavy heart lighter. He could tell that she was glad to see him from the way her eyes had brightened when he stepped into the room and he liked that. He saw it often with women, more now than ever since he had removed his wedding ring but he had never wanted it before. There was something about Maggie that made feel alive inside, all that fire and passion that burned deep inside of him had died back when Laura had served him with divorce papers. Now it was back, with vigor.

"Long time no see ." Antonio greeted her, his right hand reaching out for his coffee cup.

"Three months isn't too long Antonio." Maggie returned, the light in her eyes dimming just a little as she spoke.

"Long ones, I bet." his tone was full of understanding and she knew from their time together as partners in Vice that it was genuine.

"You have no idea." she said, her mind toiling back over the things she had heard and seen over the past two years. The Bembenek brothers were monsters, everybody knew it but pinning them down long enough for a conviction to stick was a nightmare. Which was why long before Oskar Bembenek had been released on bail for the murder of his mistress she had inserted herself into his organisation as an accountant on the request of her commanding officer. She had spent two years collecting information and feeding what she could to Olinsky in Intelligence. Her superiors weren't the only ones that had a vested interest in watching the Bembenek Brothers burn.

Antonio reached out his hand, his warm, calloused fingertips brushed over her knuckles lightly before he covered it entirely with his own. His eyes were dark and soulful as Maggie entwined her fingers with his for the briefest of moments. His thumb caressed the indent of her hand near the joint of her thumb, he traced the small raised white skin of the scar that disappeared along the back of her hand.

"Just don't get lost down the rabbit hole." he warned her, his gaze lingering on their joined hands before the two of them pulled away.

"I never much liked Alice in Wonderland anyway." she told him with a knowing smile before she tapped her forefinger on her watch. "I don't have much time."

Their sense of duty outweighed the disappointment of and it took no more than a mere second for each of them to slide back into their professional roles once more.

"What have you got?" Antonio asked, leaning back in his seat and wrapping his hands around his coffee cup in order to warm them.

"Not sure." Maggie responded with a shrug of her shoulders before pushing a small folded piece of paper across the table to Antonio. "There's talk of a heist tomorrow on an armored van. Lord knows what he'd take the risk for, the man has more money than sense."

"It must be important if he wants it that badly." Antonio reckoned slipping the piece of paper into the inside pocket of his leather jacket. "Do you know who he's contracted it out to?"

"Names on the paper." Maggie told him before removing a few bills from the back pocket of her jeans and placing them underneath her coffee cup.

"This won't blow back on you?" Antonio asked removing his own wallet and placing a couple of dollars down on the table before the two of them rose to their feet.

"I wasn't even in the room when this was discussed." she informed him, her expression one of feigned innocence as she slung her battered chocolate brown satchel onto her right shoulder, the strap twisted into the space under her collar. Antonio stepped forward, his hand reaching out for the strap and untangling it from the collar of Maggie's jacket.

He lingered for a second, there was barely an inch between them and more than anything Antonio wanted to close that distance. He wanted to run his fingers from her silky brown hair as he kissed her until she was demanding and needy against him. He imagined beautiful blue eyes of hers fixated on him the whole time as he made her cry out his name. His gaze dropped to the pert curve of her lips, they were so tantalizingly close, it wouldn't take more than a fraction of effort. He dared himself to do it but in the end his sense of duty won out once more. Instead he squeezed Maggie's arm lightly before stepping away and digging his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket.

"Take care of yourself." he told her firmly before he turned on his heel and left the diner, stepping once more into the cold Chicago night.


	2. Dangerous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Antonio reflects on the past while trying to decide what to do in the future.

**Chapter Two**

_I don't know where the lights are taking us_ __  
_But something in the night is dangerous_ __  
_And nothing's holding back the two of us_ _  
_ _But, baby, this is getting serious_

_David Guetta -_ _Dangerous_

_They were standing together in a hallway inside that swanky upper class townhouse located deep in the middle of the suburbs. The scent of cigar smoke hung thick in the air, along with the sweet stench of marijuana. Maggie hated that smell, it nauseated her, clinging to her hair and clothes until she found time to take a shower. The living room was simply a meter away, hosting a high stakes poker game with some of the finest gentleman the city of Chicago had ever boasted. There was laughter in the air, both male and female, it was loud and full of unspoken intentions. The girls were part of the entertainment tonight, save the hostess who was serving up glasses of expensive bourbon behind the bar._

_The party had already begun to get started, before they had left Maggie had witnessed a councilman snorting a fine line of coke directly off a hooker's bare chest before she'd had been requested to join in the fun. Dressed to the nines in those sexy little black spike heels of hers and a matching black bandage dress that left nothing to the imagination it was almost a given that she would be someone's top pick and her denials were met with aggression when she tried to walk away._

_Masquerading as a defense attorney Antonio had taken off the glasses they were using to record the action, leaving them carefully placed upon the glass coffee table hosting a wicker basket full of condoms and a cache of the latest party drugs. She watched along with several other people in the room as he deliberately selected a condom before proclaiming that Maggie was already booked for the night. Maggie had always known he had her back but it was moments like this that reminded her just how clever he was. His ability to manipulate certain situations still surprised her despite the fact they had been partnered for almost a year. He could see it in her eyes as he held the condom up with a devilish smile for all to see._

_A ripple of laughter erupted, along with catcalls as Antonio had taken her dainty hand in his and led her away from the action. They were still in view and he knew he had to make their disappearance look convincing. He surprised her when he backed her up against the wall in the hallway, his body pressed along the length of hers. He heard it in the hitch of breath that escaped her glossy lips when she stared directly into his eyes. It was times like that, that Antonio remembered how perfectly the two of them fitted together, her vibrant blue eyes never left his as his large hands came to rest upon her hips. His thumb lightly caressing along the sliver of skin accessible to him between the parts in her slinky black dress as her lithe thighs rubbed against the charcoal grey suit trousers he was wearing. His grizzled cheek rubbed along the length of jaw, his lips inches away away from her ear as he inhaled that rich floral scent of hers. It was intoxicating like a drug snapping through his synapses as his lips grazed her ear lobe causing her to shiver against him. Jesus Christ that almost broke him._

" _Sell it." he murmured into her ear. "Act like I'm just another john."_

_Maggie's palms came to rest on his back, he could feel their warmth through his white shirt as her fingertips trailed along the taunt muscles of his ribs. He hissed through his teeth as her nails slightly raked his skin, his fingertips dug into her hips even harder, drawing her just that bit closer to his body. He wanted her, he wanted her more than he had wanted anything in his life._

_It was the wedding ring that did it, the gold band dug into his finger as he held onto Maggie like some form of life line. It was that that made him take a moment to focus, to remember why he was here and what the hell he was meant to be doing._

_He fumbled for a moment, his hand reaching out for the door next to them. He managed to twist the door handle at the same time flinging it open. It took no more than a second for the both of them to make it into that room. Maggie slammed the door shut as a loud rancorous cheer exploded from the hall. Antonio knew that they were applauding him and what they perceived to be happening in here. He switched his attention to Maggie and found the two of them standing inches apart. Her pale cheeks were flushed and her pert lips open as he stared back at her. He knew it would barely take a second to close the distance between them but this time Antonio stood firm. He had a duty, both to his job and to his wife._

That had been over four years ago when he'd been a Detective in Vice and Antonio had never been able to forget that night. The operation had been successful and it had given his career the boost he needed to take that step into Intelligence but it was also the first time he had realized that his marriage wasn't as solid as he had thought it was. During his time with Laura he had barely looked at another woman but that moment with Maggie had put his heart in dire straits. He had never meant for it to happen, he put it down to being caught up in his role and the two of them had never talked about it afterwards. However when he thought back over it, he realised that his reaction to her was never about the role he played, it had always about Maggie. The two of them had been partners for a couple of years before she got snatched up for the Oskar Bembenek operation and he had to admit he felt the absence in her life when she had vanished. His days had been a hell of a lot brighter when she'd been around. She made him feel worthy of being cared for, that he was more than just a cop or a father. He felt that he had lost part of his identity in his marriage to Laura, that for her he always had to be one or the other. His wife had never understood that being a cop was in his blood. It was more than a job for him, it was a calling and when she had asked him to give it up last year, it had all come to a head and he was forced to admit that with Laura he hadn't felt like himself in the longest time.

Sergeant Hank Voight was seated in front of him. The other man was reading the scrap of paper that Maggie had provided them, it was spread out on the surface of the standard issue oak desk that decorated his office as he bobbed his head taking in all of the details. Antonio allowed his gaze to stray as he took in the room around him. He had always thought of Voight's office as an extension of the man himself. It was furnished by the department in a simple and no frills kind of way. The only personal affects that Voight had added was the framed American flag on the shelf behind him and the seven by five inch silver framed picture of his late wife Camille. It made Antonio's heart pang just a little when he looked at that picture. Camille had been gone for a few years now and he couldn't imagine what it must feel like to watch the love of his life slip away like that, day by day being eaten alive inside by cancer.

Voight straightened his spine before clasping his hands together and reviewing Antonio with keen analytical eyes. Antonio seemed more reserved than usual and Voight didn't need to be a mind reader to see those cogs turning in the other man's head. Maggie O'Neill was important to the other man, he had known it the first time he had seen the two of them interacting together when they were partners in Vice. He'd been courting one of them for his team at the time and put them both through the operational ringer testing strengths and studying weaknesses before Maggie was offered the Bembenek operation. He felt like he'd gotten to know each of them pretty well in those few weeks so he had no qualms about approaching Maggie for information when he'd needed a break in a case. It was against protocol but she was more than happy to help if it got the bad guys off the streets.

He wondered what her father would have thought of all this if he had survived that gunshot to the abdomen he had taken in 98 during the same stakeout that had left Al with a bullet in the shoulder and himself pinned down trying to figure out a way to get to them. Voight didn't doubt that the other man would be pleased to know that someone was watching out for his daughter.

"The information's solid." Antonio told Voight, interrupting the other man's train of thought. Antonio's right fist was clenched, his knuckles rapping lightly against the arm of the chair as he spoke. It was a sign of tension, one that Voight had come to recognize during his time working with the other man. Antonio was one of the best detectives he knew and Voight felt lucky to have the other man on his team however he was far from infallible. Voight was aware that he was under a huge mental strain with a messy divorce hanging over his head, it didn't help that Laura was withholding custody of the children until the details were hammered out. The sergeant knew it had to be killing the other man deep inside not being able to see his kids. Both Ava and Diego were the light of his life, he hated that the other man was going through that. Voight knew a thing or two about feeling emotionally isolated. There hadn't been another woman in his life since Camille and as far as he was concerned there never would be.

"How's Maggie doing?" Voight found himself asking as he sagged back in his chair, his elbows resting upon the padded arms as he clasped his hands in front of him.

Antonio paused for a moment before answering. He considered the dark circles that had marred Maggie's pale skin this evening under the harsh florescent lights. Sleep didn't come easy when you were fearing constantly for your own well being . He knew from experience how life could become complicated once you went undercover. There were pieces of yourself that you could never get back once you had given them away. Two years under Oskar Bembenek had to take it's toll.

"She's tired." Antonio finally submitted into the conversation. "Two years is a long time away from your family. I see her brother sometimes at Sunday service."

"I'm guessing he's still praying for her." Voight responded knowingly with a ghost of a smile on his lips.

"He's a priest, it's what they do." Antonio said with a shrug of his shoulders before he reached for the piece of paper, holding it up between both of his fingers. "I guess we better get rolling on this."


	3. Chapter Three: Russian Roulette

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie learns a valuable in the Bremberek organisation.

As complicated as her life had been back in Vice, Maggie had never understood the true meaning of the word until she had come to work under Oskar Bremberek. Back when she had been recruited for this operation it had seemed like a fresh break away from a situation that was becoming more and more problematic with every passing day. She'd wanted to take a step out of her life and becoming someone new hadn't sounded like a bad idea. She had lost count of the amount of times that she had come to regret that decision over the past two years. It had been one that she had made in haste because she had realised at the time that she was falling in love with a married man, one that she worked alongside every single day.

That was why she was standing here right now in Oskar's office, her position was behind Oskar's plush leather office chair, slightly to the right of him. She stood tall and ramrod straight, her silk white blouse tucked neatly into the black skintight pencil skirt that ended at her knee. The black patent leather high heels she was wearing were hurting her feet but it was a pain that she chose to ignore. Shifting her weight from foot to foot would bring unwanted attention and Oskar liked his women demure and obedient at all times. She had been the perfect model of this over the past couple of years as she worked diligently on his accounts. That was part of the reason she was here today in this week's accounts were clasped in a manilla folder between her dainty hands and it did not look good for Roddrick Pollock. There was evidence in this file that proved he was skimming a large portion of money off the top of his share of the drug trade.

Everyday things in the organisation were going from bad to worse, Oskar was becoming more and more erratic, his behavior becoming more bloodthirsty and violent. He was beginning to lose control and his brother Jacob certainly wasn't much better. The sooner she got her ass out of here the better, however her superiors thought otherwise. She was to stay undercover until she had obtained more information regarding Oskar's foreign allegiances. Each time she met with her superiors it seemed like the goal posts were changing and she wondered if there would ever be a time that they would shut this operation down and allow her to actually lead her own life once more. It was one of the reasons she didn't feel too guilty about breaking protocol, supplying Voight's team with information would be like waving a red flag at a bull if Superintendent Regan ever found out. However her higher ups weren't doing much to tackle the crippling drug problem that was beginning to seize Chicago. They preferred to set their sights higher, to leverage more information so they could use it for their own political goals. This was an election year after all.

"Magdalena." her name rolled off Oskar's tongue, dripping with honey and she hated it. It repulsed her on every single level knowing that she had to obey his whims. He liked to use her full name, like hers his family had been devout Catholics and he still enjoyed aspects of the old ways when it suited him. Like a good Catholic he expected that she would keep his confession but his bastardization of their shared faith only made her want to catch him just that little bit more. "Magdalena, pass me the files."

Maggie handed the manilla folder to Oskar who in turn gave it to Rodderick. The stout little man took the folder with a bored expression upon his pig like features. His facial features showed confusion as he flicked through slender white pages without actually reading the words typed upon them.

"You are stealing from me." Oskar stated frankly, his voice was oddly pleasant almost as if he was pondering the weather outside. It sent a chill straight up Maggie's spine as she detected that cold edge underneath. Already her stomach was churning, her gut was telling her that this situation was about to turn lethal and she was powerless to stop it.

"There must be some mistake." Roddrick said as he once again flicked through the pages in the file. He was taking his time now, his squinting eyes scanning over the figures as he took in the details.

"Magdalena would not be here if she made mistakes." Oskar imparted, his tone bordering on normalcy. Maggie fought the urge to swallow hard against the bile in her throat. He'd done that on purpose, it was his way of reminding her that she was disposable and that mistakes would not be tolerated. It dawned on Maggie then why she was standing here in this meeting today. It was a lesson, a lesson that Oskar intended to teach her just in case she ever considered stealing from him.

"I am telling you Oskar, your secretary has made a mistake." Roddrick spat, throwing the file upon the desk before fixating his venomous glare upon Maggie. She ignored it, it wasn't the first time an employee of Oskar's had taken a dislike to her and it wouldn't be the last.

Oskar's hand was already slipping down towards the drawer on his left hand side. Maggie could see the metallic barrel of the Colt 45. gleaming in the light from the desk lamp. His plump hand was already wrapped around the ivory grip, his chunky finger resting on the trigger. Maggie inhaled sharply, forcing herself to stare straight ahead at the wooden crucifix that Oskar had pinned to his wall alongside the door. There was an unhealthy amount of irony in that, she didn't want to think about the things that it had bore witness to.

_You can't do anything_  she reminded herself. Her small hands tightening into fists as she steeled herself for the roar of the weapon. There was no doubt in her mind of what was about to happen. Her jaw was aching, she had it clenched so tightly she could practically hear her own teeth grinding over the sound of her blood rushing through her ears.

"I told you." Oskar rumbled, his voice cold and calm as he spoke, withdrawing the Colt and pointing it directly at Rodderick. "Magdalena does not make mistakes."

The explosion of the gunshot made her ears ring. Despite herself she watched as Roddrick's head jerked back violently, blood erupting from the exit wound. The thick dark liquid dripped from the frame of the chair into a pool on the carpet. Almost instantly the pang of copper assaulted her nostrils making her wretch, she could taste it on her tongue and she fought against the bile climbing in her throat. She choked back hard, her nails leaving half moon imprints on the palm of her hands as she fought to gather her composure. Oskar returned the gun to it's drawer before turning his full attention upon her. His eyes were cool and clear and she could see that he had no remorse for his actions. She searched those depth less pits and found nothing, no emotion, not even anger. It was at this point Maggie realized how truly out of her depth she was here. She knew that Oskar was a murderer and one of the worst human beings that had the misfortune of being brought into this world but she'd had no idea he was a sociopath. Oskar looked back at her, watching as she pressed the back of her hand to her lips to hold back the torrid sickness that was ravaging her stomach.

"Now you know what happens when people steal from me." Oskar said, his tone dismissive before he tilted his head towards the door to his office, indicating that she should leave.

Maggie didn't remember crossing the room, one moment she was beside his desk and the next she was at the door, her sweating hand slipping off the handle as she struggled to grip it.

"Oh and Magdalena..." Oscar said casually. She forced herself to pause, inclining her head so that he could see the profile of her face. "Get Jacob in here to clean up this mess."


	4. Chapter Four: History

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Antonio and Al talk about what's best for Maggie...

Sixteen, the restaurant was an upscale place located in River North. It boasted high ceilings and a gorgeous contemporary modern theme with low lights that set an intimate mood despite the fact they were here for lunch time service. The menu in front of Maggie was expensive, more expensive than she would ever allow herself to afford on her normal salary as a detective however she wasn't here as a detective, she was here as Oskar's accountant. Through the course of her undercover work with him she had eaten at some of the most exquisite restaurants in the city, it had given her an opportunity to extend her culinary palate. That however did not make up for the company that she was keeping. As usual she was a lone woman at a table of middle aged men, all were dressed as smartly as she was however she was the only one not carrying. The usual players were here, Oskar, Oskar's brother Jacob, one of his body guards. It was a quiet affair where they could discuss business, he had already instructed her to remove two hundred grand from his private safe when they returned to the office and she noted at the time that he had been very unhappy about it. She hadn't been around for the rest of the conversation but she'd caught the intention of violence in the air as she was requested to attend a meeting back at the office later on at four thirty.

Dinner was over now and the gentlemen of the table seemed to be content sipping their freshly brewed Italian coffee as Maggie poured aromatic tea from a small pot into her tea cup. There was movement ahead of them, she saw a flash of something gold and a flurry of agitated voices at the hostess station before a man she recognized rounded the corner. It took a moment for her to put Al Olinsky's appearance into context, she was too startled by the fact he was here in the restaurant to put together any of the pieces. He hadn't changed much since the last time she'd seen him. He was still wearing his trademark hat, this time only in a different pattern than the usual black. His hair was shorter now and his goatee had become peppered with even more flecks of grey than before. The grip on her teacup tightened as he approached the table before she replaced it upon the saucer. The loud clink of china drew Oskar's attention before he followed her gaze. This was a tricky situation, one that Maggie knew that Al would sail through perfectly. He didn't even look at her as he stopped abruptly opposite Oskar who was seated to her right.

"Detective Olinsky." Oskar greeted with a jovial tone. It was the same tone he had used last night when he had killed Rodderick and it made her jaw clench and her stomach clench at the sound of it.

"Would you mind stepping up for a second so that I could have a word with your boss?" Al asked the bodyguard gruffly. Alberto cast a glance at Oskar, who took a long sip from his cappuccino in response to this request. She understood that it was a play of power, Oskar wanted to show Al that he wasn't worth the concern and Al, well he had never taken too kindly to someone who was rude to him. Before she knew what was happening, Al had gripped the bodyguard by the collar and was hoisting him to his feet. He used the momentum to toss him to the floor before slinking seamlessly into his chair. Jacob was on his feet instantly, his nostrils flaring like a wild dog as Al reviewed him stoically. Oskar reached out and placed a hand lightly on his brother's arm gesturing for him to sit down.

"You know, I know that you were behind the heist this morning." Al began, placing his clasped hands on the table.

"Heist?" Oskar queried, feigning innocence.

"Yea." Al persisted, that dogged determination set in his eye.

"I don't think so, no. Magdalena has been with me all morning, we running through the accounts." Oskar informed the other man, resting his elbows on the table and crossing his arms over his chest.

Al's gaze flickered upwards towards her, his eyes bored into hers for a brief moment. In them she saw the man that had handpicked her from the academy all those years ago, the person who had taught her how to survive in a world full of crooks and thieves even when you were right in the thick of them. He was the man that had made her into the person she was today. He betrayed nothing of that when he looked at her, he simply returned his gaze back to Oskar.

"You remember the old days?" Al asked Oskar conversationally. "You ran from the police you were guaranteed a beating. You shoot at the police it was guaranteed death. Now I am considered one of the last of the old timers and I am coming for you."

Oskar said nothing, he simply stared back at Al, his menacing eyes narrowing as he took in the other man's threat. Al's eyes flickered back to her for the briefest of moment before he said his final words to Oskar.

"You had better be ready."

* * *

The night that Maggie had told him about the Bembenek operation was one of the worst in Al's Olinsky's life. He loved the job, he was devoted to it in every which way possible however he owed Maggie and that meant more to him. The younger woman trusted him, he was her mentor and he had known better than to let her take on something that would ruin what could be the best years of her life. She could do it, there was no question of that, he had trained her himself and he knew that both Vice and Narco used her in their stings, she had the experience and the motivation to go the distance. However he knew without a doubt she was doing it for the wrong reasons. For her slipping into this other life was about escape and when the chips were down that wasn't a good enough reason to do what she had been planning to do. Al had been firm about that but Maggie had been resolute, no matter how he tried to persuade her, she would not budge on her decision and in the end there was nothing more that he could do other than wish her the very best of luck and the promise that anytime she needed him he would be there come hell or high water.

That night still haunted him, Al thought about it often and played through every single argument he could have used on the young detective to persuade her to stay away from the Bembenek operation, however he knew that the outcome would have been very much the same. Maggie was like her father in that respect, stubborn and fierce. It came with an Irish temper and a sense of loyalty that he had never seen waver. He rose his eyes to the ceiling as the other members of the team listened to Antonio talk, Al had promised Bart before he had bled out on that street that he would take care of his daughter and he was determined the make good on that promise. What he'd seen today at the restaurant had solidified what Al had already known over the past few months, Maggie was fading. Despite how capable she was, the operation was taking it's toll and being around a man like Oskar was toxic. He knew what it was like to keep your distance from people, to never get close and hold your guard up. He checked in with her from time to time when Voight requested but he could see that she was losing those pieces of herself the longer she stayed under. If this went on too much longer the Maggie O'Neill he knew and cared for wouldn't be coming back. He'd seen what happened to officers when they'd been undercover too long and it wasn't pretty.

He'd already gone to her superiors with his suspicions and they had been less than helpful. Regan wanted Oskar's foreign contacts before he pulled her out and he was resolute on that. The politics on this case were complicated at best and those involved in finally nailing Bembenek and his network would be up for promotion. The mental health of a single officer didn't factor in their ambitions. It pissed Al off that he didn't have enough information to force Regan to change his mind. Right now he had to sit back and hope that Voight could dig up something to twist things in their favor. His sergeant tended to play his cards close to his chest at the best of times and right now he was up to his waist dealing with this mess caused by IAB. Voight thought if they managed to take down Bembenak they'd be able to free up Maggie from her undercover role as there would be no need for it anymore so Al had his fingers crossed that all of this would pan out the way they hoped.

Voight had had to take off for a meeting at the Ivory Tower but he had left Antonio running the show and Al had faith in the other man's abilities. He watched as Antonio gripped the collar of his vest with both hands before addressing the rest of the team. He knew what was at stake here and Al was glad that he wasn't the only one that had a personal investment in the outcome of this operation. He had known when Maggie and Antonio had been partnered up together that the younger man would do everything within his power to ensure that no harm would come to her. That's the kind of cop Antonio was.

Even all those years ago, Al had seen that the other man's marriage was failing, no matter how much Antonio tried to hide it, he wasn't happy with Laura and he hadn't been for a long time. Like Al himself he had walked a tightrope that balanced squarely between his family and his duty to his job. Laura had hated the hours he worked and the disappearing acts he had to pull when something went pressure of that was a tough burden to bear but he commended Antonio for doing his very best to maintain an active role in his family despite the fact that Laura and him seemed to have nothing in common anymore beside the kids. When that final nail came Al hadn't been surprised and he thought if Antonio was truly honest with himself he wasn't either.

Al tuned back in as Antonio began to speak outlining the objectives of their operation.

"Whether this evidence bag was open or not, if it broke chain of custody I don't really give a damn. That's the state attorney's problem. Our objectives is to get Bembenek showing up with the two hundred thousand dollars and heads will roll from there." Antonio reported before glancing at Al who pursed his lips together and nodded his agreement. Together they had Maggie's back, for better or for worse.


	5. Duty Bound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Antonio's plan backfires...

It was windy up here on the bridge, Maggie could feel it whipping through her loose chestnut colored hair as she leaned on the railing looking over into the deepest depths of the water below her. There was a shimmer of light in the distance, it came from the buildings on either sides of the river and cast an almost pretty glow. Maggie closed her eyes momentarily, listening to the swirling tide underneath her. She didn't know why but she always found a little clarity when she came here. No matter how shitty the world was looking being here reminded her of the good things in life and right now she needed that. It was the sound of footsteps that first alerted her to his presence, she didn't need to turn around to know who it was approaching her. He'd always been quick on his feet, she'd always joked that it was the reason why he made such a good boxer.

Antonio leaned on the railing beside her, his elbows resting upon the metal bar as their hips bumped lightly. She was clad in a calf length black coat with a scarlet and gold silk scarf wrapped around her throat, her long chestnut hair loose around her shoulders as she stared out at river below.

"I fucked up." he said, his gaze falling onto the glittering lights dancing along the ripples of the black glistening water. "I thought we could get you out if we took down Oskar but Regan is relentless."

"You didn't fuck up." Maggie told him, straightening her spine so she came up to her full height, her boot kicking at the gravel under their feet. "Regan was never going to let me go."

"It's not right Maggie." Antonio told her, his voice betraying the frustration and rage that boiled underneath the surface of his skin. "They're feeding you to the wolves and I can't do a damn thing about it."

Maggie turned her head to look at him and everything he saw in those pretty blue eyes of hers broke his heart into a thousand little pieces. He couldn't stand this anymore, he couldn't stand the lonely nights wondering if he'd ever see her again. Maggie reached out, her cool fingertips trailing along the line of his jawline of his grizzled cheek, her thumb skating along his cheekbone. Antonio clasped his hand to hers holding it in place as he revelled in her touch. There was something so intimate in the gesture, it made his heart literally ache within the confines of his chest. He hadn't known that something so sweet could hurt so God damn much, his lips brushed the palm of her hand placing the gentlest of kisses upon the underside of her wrist.

"Antonio..." she murmured, there was pain in her voice and he knew that this was hurting her too. Being so close and yet so far apart was killing the both of them slowly. It hadn't been this bad when they were partners. They had rationalised their feelings for one another, pretended they didn't exist but after Laura had put forward for divorce and Maggie had appeared back in his life he couldn't deny the intensity of the feelings he felt for this woman. It was never meant to be like this but somehow it was and now that he had her back in his life, even if it was just for a fleeting second he never wanted to let her go.

"How the hell am I supposed to let you walk back into that mess?" he asked her earnestly.

Maggie inhaled deeply, he knew she was trying to ground herself. He could see it in the way she straightened her spine and jammed her dainty hands into the pockets of her long black coat.

"You remind yourself it's part of the job." she told him bluntly. " And that one day it won't be like this and until then we both have to do our duty whether we like it or not."

Antonio pursed his lips together before nodding his agreement at her words. It took a moment for him to push back all those emotions that were bubbling up so perilously close to the surface and adopt his professional persona. It was the only way he could compartmentalize what was happening right now, to face what he knew they had to do.

"So I'm guessing that there's another reason you called me down here tonight?" he mentioned, casting his gaze over the river once more. The cop inside of him was already erecting those emotional barriers, getting ready to protect him from the inevitable moment that he would walk away and leave her standing alone once more on the bridge.

"Yea." Maggie said lowering her gaze for a moment as she selected the words he needed to hear. "Oskar has put a bounty on Halstead, it's one hundred thousand to the person that kills him."

Antonio stared at her, speechless for a moment, his mind whirled over the possibilities. He had to say the crime boss moved fast, he'd barely been arrested eight hours ago and somehow he was still calling the shots from prison.

"Jesus..." Antonio muttered, leaning back against the railing and resting his elbows upon it as he looked up at the night sky. "Anyone shown any interest yet?"

"They offered it to J.P about an hour ago but he declined. The hit goes live tomorrow morning which means it's anybody's." Maggie informed him before casting a glance at her watch.

"J.P?" Antonio queried.

"Talk to Al." Maggie advised before shooting him an apologetic look. "I've got to get going, if I'm gone any longer then they'll start to ask questions."

"Go." Antonio urged her, removing his cell phone from the inside pocket of his leather jacket and hitting the one on his phone to speed dial Voight. "I'll take care of this."


	6. Communication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Antonio reflects on the breakdown of his marriage.

**_Diego Dawson: Picture message attached._ **

**_Dad: Wow! Is that you in the middle holding the trophy?_ **

**_Diego Dawson: Yea, I scored the final goal! You should have seen it dad, I was running circles around their guys,_ **

**_Dad: I wish I could have been here D. I'm so proud of you!_ **

**_Diego: I wish you could have been there too. I wanted to show you the trophy so mom let me take the picture. When can you come over? I want to show you the trophy, Gramps has put it on the mantelpiece!_ **

**_Dad: Me and your mom are still figuring a few things out but soon I hope. I miss you guys._ **

**_Diego: We miss you too dad. I gotta go to class but text later!_ **

**_Dad: See you later D! x_ **

Antonio clicked on the picture once more so that it filled his screen. His gaze lingered over his son's smiling features as he lifted that shiny gold trophy high in the air among the rest of his soccer team. His thumb smoothed over his son's pixelated features as a ghost of a smile played upon his lips. Despite the impending divorce his children seemed to be happy and that was the most important thing to him. They understood that mom and dad couldn't be together anymore and he thought they were happier for it, there were no hushed arguments in the night between him and Laura, or tense morning afters. Kids picked up on that sort of thing no matter how much you tried to hide it and he hated the fact they had been feeling the simmering tension between their parents.

Laura was an excellent mom but things hadn't worked out between them in the end, no matter how many times they had tried to force it. They had married young, not long after he had graduated the academy and before he knew it they had Eva on the way and eventually Diego. Things had moved fast for their little family and he had loved it at the time. Then reality hit and before he knew it, he was working long nights and shifts that had him out at all hours. He was still a good father and a diligent husband, he could see the strain the job was putting on his marriage and he was powerless to stop it. Being a cop was a part of him as much as the role of husband and father and even as he tried to cover up the cracks he hadn't realized how deep that damage had actually gone. Going back to the job after getting shot had been the final straw for his wife, she needed something steadier and secure. She needed someone who wasn't going to take risks and sadly Antonio wasn't that person. He would lay his life down for what he believed in if he had to. He understood how angry that could make someone and how hurt Laura must have felt. She had threatened to leave earlier that morning but he had never expected her to actually follow through with it and when she had he had to admit that among the anger and indignation there was relief too. Their marriage hadn't been working for a long time and they had fallen into a pattern of functionality. He didn't mourn the marriage but he did not regret it either. Those years with Laura had bought him Eva and Diego and his children meant everything in the world to him, part of the reason he was out on the job day after day was to make the streets a safer place for the both of them.

"Nice picture." Erin remarked from beside him.

The younger detective was standing at his elbow, her right hand using a teaspoon to stir sugar into her steaming mug. Her head was tilted to one side as she studied the image with interest. Antonio had been so lost in his thoughts he hadn't even registered that the other woman had entered the break room. He tilted his phone to allow her a better visual as he pointed out Diego.

"His team is now top of the Soccer league." he told her proudly before closing the message and slipping the phone into the back pocket of his jeans.

"I see he's a keen sportsman." Erin complimented, resting her hip against the counter as she took a long sip from her coffee mug. "How's Eva doing?"

"Kid is as smart as a whip." Antonio answered with a wide smile as he picked up his own coffee mug. "She got an A on her algebra test the other day, I don't know where she gets it from."

"It clearly didn't come from you." Erin teased as Antonio snickered. "I've seen you using a calculator to add up your change from the bodega."

"Detective Lindsey, you wound me." he chuckled placing a hand over his heart in mock insult.

"Yea, she knows exactly where to punch." Jay Halstead responded as the two of them stepped past his desk as he leaned back in his chair, letting it swivel from side to side as he clasped the arms of it.

Antonio paused for a moment before turning his full attention to the younger man. Halstead looked tired, more tired than he had ever seen him. There were dark circles under his eyes and his features looked sallow and haggard. He could tell the other man wasn't sleeping, Antonio wasn't sure he would be either if he'd received the news that there was bounty on his head. One hundred thousand dollars wasn't anything to sniff at. Antonio had seen guys kill each other for less. A figure like that would bring out some heavy hitters, now they were simply waiting to see who made their way out of the woodwork.

"How you doing man?" he asked sympathetically as Jay leaned forward, his elbows on his desk as he lowered his voice an octave.

"Are you sure your C.I couldn't give us anymore information?" He queried Antonio, his blue eyes were full of anxiety, Antonio could hear the caution in the other man's tone as he spoke. "I'm getting sick of looking over my shoulder."

This would be the third time that Jay had asked the same question in the past few days and the answer from Antonio was always the same. Jay had pushed a little yesterday, requesting to meet the C.I so that he could question them himself but Voight had put a stop to that straight away. The less people that knew about Maggie and her position in Oskar's crew the better even if it was a member of their own team.

"Sorry man." Antonio said, shaking his head in response to the question. "That's all we've got to go on for now. If I hear anything else you'll be the first to know."

His free hand clasped Jay's shoulder, squeezing it lightly before he took up residence at his desk. He took in Jay's crest fallen features as the other man hunched over his computer and hoped that Voight and Al were having better luck in dealing with J.P.


	7. This is War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie fights back...

The stench of gun oil was ripe in Maggie's nostrils, it's acidic smell flooding her senses as the hard ridged, cream wall paper dug into her left cheek. The metallic barrel of the Beretta was cold on her right cheek, she could feel it trailing along her cheek bone, past her nose and lips before Gregor used it to brush a stray strand of her chestnut colored hair back behind her ear. The gesture was alarmingly intimate. His large beefy hand was on the center of her spine, crushing her athletic body against the wall of her small office and holding her in place. Her hands were free, her red shirt sleeves were buttoned at the wrist, her palms resting upon the surface of the paper as he drilled the gun even further into the soft flesh on her face.

"I know you told them Magdalena. I know you warned them about the hit on Halstead." Gregor seethed, his tone sharp and malevolent.

Maggie inhaled deeply, closing her eyes for the briefest of moments as she struggled to calm the trembling sensation that was vibrating through every single one of her synapses. She tried to remind herself that she had been in worse situations than this over the years but right now she couldn't think of them. There had always been a safety net there, she always had back up. Now she had nothing and she was left in this pit of snakes to fend for herself. She could deal with being manhandled, it was a risk that came with the job but now she was actually in fear for her life and she realized that if she didn't find a way out of this right now, she wouldn't live to see another day.

"Do not lie to me!" Gregor rumbled, his grave voice sending pinpricks of fear up her spine as the gun dug into the hinge of her jaw, just under her jugular. She could feel her own pulse against the muzzle and it gave her a moment of clarity. There were no white knights in her story, there was no cavalry about to ride in to save the day, there was just her and that pulsating fear in the pit of her stomach. Fear was what made people lose control, fear gave way to panic and Maggie would not let that happen. She hadn't spent so long undercover just to lose her shit at the last hurdle.

"I didn't know about Halstead." She spat indignantly, feeling that familiar fire burning in the pit of her stomach. It was instinctual, the rage, she had so very much to be angry about. This operation, the position she was in and this fucking moron for somehow figuring out something that his boss had not. She had always thought of Oskar's second in command, Gregor as stupid, he was loud and brash, his remarks unintelligible but now she understood that he was perceptive. Since Oskar had been locked up he'd spent the whole time watching her, everywhere she went she had felt his slimy gaze upon her. So she had become more careful. She thought she was safe, that Gregor was none the wiser, clearly she had been wrong.

"I saw you Magdalena! I followed you onto the bridge the other night. I thought he was your boyfriend but he was a cop wasn't he?" he snarled, flipping her around so the two of them were facing one another. There was nothing she could say that would change his mind, she could see that glittering resolution his jade green eyes as he stared back at her. Her back was to the wall now, her hands up on either side of her head in surrender. She had wanted to make herself look smaller and meek, she wanted him to think that she wouldn't dare defy him or Oskar but Gregor saw right through that. His hand was at her throat in an instant, his broad fingers digging into her windpipe, gently squeezing as he forced his lower body against the length of hers. "You betrayed Oskar and you betrayed me!"

She gave him no acknowledgment and that seemed to tip Gregor even further over the edge. There was something frightening in those eyes of his, a flicker of enjoyment as he tightened his grasp just enough to leave her rasping for oxygen. He placed the gun upon her desk and she felt her heart stop as she realised what was about to happen. She had heard stories about Gregor and how he liked to use his hands. Her nails left vibrant streaks of red glistening in the florescent lighting along his muscular forearm as she used her fist to thump on the joint of his elbow as hard as she could in an attempt to buckle it in order to dislodge his grip on her throat. He laughed, the sound was maniacal, making her blood run cold before his free hand slithered between them. He wrenched at the parting of her red silk blouse and tearing the buttons from the fabric and leaving the shirt hanging open to reveal a black lace bra and pale skin.

"No wire?" he questioned, that sick smile crossing his features. His nostrils flaring like an animal as he stared down at her chest, his fingertip tracing along the line of the lace before he ventured further. "Or are they hiding them lower these days?"

She swallowed hard as he allowed his finger to trace a circular pattern around her belly button, his grasp on her throat loosening just a little as he began to explore her other assets. She had no other options left so she used the only one that was open to her. The knife was a stiletto, one from Antonio's collection, one that he had forced her to promise him that she would keep on her person at all times. Back then she had thought he was being over cautious, now she was just glad she'd kept that promise. She used the middle finger of her right hand to tap on the auto lock button, springing the blade from hilt before focusing on that single pulsating vein that was throbbing underneath the skin of Gregor's thick neck.

"I want to enjoy this, I want to watch the light die in your eyes..."

It was the look of surprise that got her. Gregor had underestimated her because of her gender, he had never saw her as a threat, not until she had plunged that knife right into his throat. The soft gurgling noise was sickening, she choked back bile as she withdrew the knife , allowing it to drop to the floor. His hands were no longer on her body, instead they were clasped on his own throat trying to stem the intense bleeding as he fell to his knees before her. His lips parted as he tried to talk, his mouth moving but only the sound of violent rasps slipping out. It took less than a minute for him to bleed out, she stood there and watched every antagonizing second with a detachment she knew the cop in her applauded. She was a survivor and right now she was doing what she could to survive. She stripped off her bloody red blouse before scrunching it into a bundle and using it to wipe the blood off the most visible parts of her body and her shoes. She removed her black suit jacket from the back of her chair, fastening the buttons over her bare cleavage with deft hands before snatching up her purse and heading for the door. Her gaze lingered on the panel for the fire alarm, the small red lever sticking out alluringly.

_No turning back now_ , she thought before she reached up yanked the lever down.

The alarm was instantaneous, it caused the blood in Maggie's ears to pound even louder as she opened the door to her office in order to slip away into the confusion.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Antonio recounts giving Maggie the knife that saved her life...

    On some level ascending the stairs towards the Intelligence Squad Room by Sergeant Hank Voight was one of the most harrowing moments Maggie had ever experienced. She felt her heart pound against her ribs as she took each step slowly and with deliberation. The adrenaline was starting to wear off now and she could feel her muscles quaking underneath her skin as exhaustion began to set in. She wasn’t sure how she made it to the precinct intact, her decision had been instinctive. She had learned long ago that she could not trust Regan to have her back so instead she’d gone to the one place she knew she wouldn’t get hung out to dry.

     Over the past few years she had come to trust Hank Voight the same way she had Al, both men had been friends of her father’s before his untimely death and featured predominantly in her life since. She didn’t trust the rumors about Voight, she went with gut feelings and experience. Right now both of those were telling her that she would not be misplacing her faith in this man. She cast a glance back at the Desk Sergeant as she waited for Voight to punch in the code to the chain linked door and allow his palm to be scanned. The grey haired woman made no effort to hide the fact she was watching them, her keen eyes were scanning Maggie, taking in everything from her composure to the flecks of blood that dotted the back of her hand.

    The squad room was alike all the others she had seen over the years, the desks were neatly placed with a variation of different style chairs accompanying each one. There was a large whiteboard on wheels on the opposite side of the room with several photographs of key players from Oskar’s crew stuck to it with sticky tack. Her eyes lingered on Gregor for a second before she forced herself to look away. There were people in the room, fellow detectives who paused when both Hank and herself entered the room, silence seemed to fall and the only thing she could hear was the faint clacking of her heels as she followed Hank towards his office. She could feel their eyes on her as she walked and she knew they had questions and she guessed in the end they would get their answers.

    She heard her name as Voight opened the glass door to this office and raised her head to find Antonio standing beside what she guessed was the kitchen door way, a mug of coffee in his hand. His surprise was evident, she could see it etched into his dark features, his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to put her arrival into context. She paused for a second before stepping into Voight’s office, the back of her hand brushing his lightly as she met his questioning gaze.

    “I’m alright.” she promised as his warm fingers caught hers for the briefest of moments, squeezing them for reassurance.

    “You know where I am.” he told her using his mug of coffee to indicate towards his desk.

    Maggie pursed her lips together grimly and nodded before stepping inside Voight’s office and closing the door quietly behind her.

    ————————————————

    

    

    The crime scene was a first floor, office complex in one of the most expensive parts of town. The building was owned by a shell corporation that had ties to both Oskar and his brother Jacob. Whatever ‘work’ went on here Antonio doubted every much that it as legal. He wasn’t concerned with that, the same way Halstead wasn’t, their destination was the office at the end of the hallway. Voight had been very specific about that. It had taken the best part of an hour for Maggie to divulge her story to his Sergeant and when she had Voight had slipped into that calm commanding officer they knew him to be. The others had questions but no one asked when Voight sent them out on their various assignments.

    Atwood and Ruzek were gathering statements whilst Lindsey had stayed behind to collect the evidence from Maggie herself. Nadia had been dispatched to locate an alternative set of clothing since what Maggie was wearing now had to go into evidence bags to back up her story. They had decided to keep it in house so that they could manage the fall out but he had no doubt that heads would roll over this. He was glad that Voight seemed as determined as he was to make sure that Maggie’s wasn’t one of them.

    The stench of blood was over powering as Antonio stepped into the small sparsely decorated office he knew to be Maggie’s. That copper tang was on his tongue as his dark eyes came to rest upon the large dead body sprawled out on the plush royal blue carpet, lying in a pool of his own blood. The gears were already shifting in his head as he took in the torn silk shirt and scattered white buttons. They knew Gregor Polonski liked to use his his hands, Antonio had seen his handiwork on more than one occasion and it turned his stomach to think of him using them on Maggie. His right fist clenched, his knuckles turning white as he imagined what had taken place in this room and how it had almost played out.

    “Got a knife here.” Halstead announced from the opposite side of the body, the younger man was crouched down, his baby blue eyes swiveling up to meet Antonio’s.

    “Stab wound to the neck?” Antonio questioned, his broad arms crossing over his chest as his dark eyes came to linger on that familiar stiletto blade, the one with the black rubber hilt. He rubbed the back of his head as he stared at it. It was his knife, he didn’t have to get any closer to know that. He’d given it to Maggie just before she’d walked out of his life and into the hands of a monster.

     _“Why?” Antonio questioned Maggie, he could hear the aggravation in his own voice and he hated it. He despised this wounded feeling that was nestled deep down inside of him, it was wrong he knew that but he couldn’t ignore it. He couldn’t ignore that sickening pang in his chest at the thought of never seeing her again. His warm hands were on her slender shoulders as he stared directly into those pretty blue eyes of hers, his calloused thumb grazed her collar bone lightly. “I thought we had a good thing going on here and now your breaking us up.”_

     _She flinched at his choice of words and part of him wondered if he had done that on purpose, if he was intentionally trying to hurt her the way that she was tearing him up inside right now._

     _“You know why.” Maggie told him helplessly as her gentle hands came to rest on his wrists. “We can’t go on like this.”_

     _Antonio hung his head. He knew that she was right but in his heart it felt like she was abandoning him. She was the only person he could trust in all entirety. There were things that he had told her that no other person in the world knew. She was his partner, his confident and so much more._

     _“You know how I feel.” she told him, as his forehead came to rest upon hers. His nose trailed along hers as his tender hands cupped her delicate features. “And you know if we keep doing this dance then we’re going to start making mistakes.”_

     _He wanted to make this mistake, Lord it was so hard right now not to break those vows and close the distance between the two of them. How many times had he thought about kissing her over the time they’d spent together? Everything made sense with Maggie in his life and when it didn’t she was there propping him up. He’d lost count of the times he’d placed his faith in her, he knew he had to do that right now. He knew he had to trust she was doing this for the right reasons._

     _“I know.” he told her, that unruly emotion bubbling up on his veins. Sometimes he wanted to pretend that he wasn’t married and that the two of them weren’t partners. He wished the whole world would just melt away, leaving the two of them and nothing else. He knew that there would come a day in their future where he wouldn’t be satisfied with playing it safe and that it would destroy them both. “I know that we can’t keep doing this.”_

     _“You have to let me go Antonio.” Maggie against his mouth before she drew away._

     _“Maggie, wait...” He caught her wrist lightly in his hand before he tugged her back towards him. His right hand reached into the pocket of his leather jacket before he pulled out his stiletto knife and placed it in the palm of her hand. “Take it.”_

     _“Antonio...” she began, trying to wrestle it back into his hand. Antonio closed her fingers around it so that it was tightly in her grasp._

     _“Maggie, take it.” he enforced, his voice firm as he spoke. “At the very least if I can’t back you up, you should be able to protect yourself if you can’t get to your firearm. It’s saved my life more times than I can count.”_

     _He could see the conflict in her features as she stared down at the knife clasped tightly in her hand._

     _“Thank you.” she said finally before removing her hand from his and putting it into the pocket of her long coat._

     _He’d watched her leave with a heavy heart, his eyes lingering on her retreating form until he could no longer see her. Maggie had made the right decision, he knew she had but he felt like his heart was breaking with every step she took. Out of the two of them she was the strong one and in the end he had done his duty and gone back home to his wife and thrown himself role as the doting husband._

    “How did you know?” Halstead asked, snapping Antonio out of his reverie. Antonio shook his head as as he took in the thin scratches along Gregor’s muscular forearms.

    “Because it’s what I would have done.” he told Halstead, watching as his fellow detective climbed to his feet, his gaze questioning. “I gave her that knife.”

    “So you two are...” Jay trailed off as he struggled to find the word he was looking for.

    “She was my partner before she was recruited into this operation.” Antonio said firmly as he walked around to the side of the desk where Maggie would have sat. He fished the set of latex gloves out of the pocket of his leather jacket before pulling them onto his large hands.

    “She was your C.I?” Jay questioned as he contemplated the events of the past few days, the pieces finally fitting into place. “The one that told you about the hit?”

    He already knew the answer to that question but he wanted to hear it from Antonio’s lips. He had known the other man was protecting someone but he had no idea how complicated the situation really was until now.

    “I think that’s what nearly got her killed.” Antonio confessed to the other man as he used his right palm to pat the underside of Maggie’s desk, his fingertips searching for that tell tale smooth spot. “I think she took a risk to get us that information and this is the fall out from it.”

    Jay’s took in the dead body laying at his feet, the other man’s hulking frame was twisted away from him so he couldn’t see the gash in his neck but he knew it was there and he knew from what he had seen that there was no hesitation. The stabbing had meant to kill quietly and quickly. Antonio’s partner had fought for her life because she’d had the good grace to protect a fellow cop and that meant something to Halstead, more than he cared to admit. He owed this woman his life, without her information he wouldn’t be walking and talking right now.

    “Ah ha!” Antonio exclaimed as he tore something from underneath the desk and held it up for Jay to see. It was a USB drive, attached to it was a small patch of black electrical tape that obviously been used to keep it in place.

    “She had balls, keeping it here.” Halstead responded before removing his phone for his jacket pocket.

    “Gregor was doing pat downs and bag checks after Oskar was arrested. This was probably the safest place she could put it until she could figure a way to get it out.” Antonio told the other man, dropping the USB drive into a plastic evidence bag as Halstead dialed Voight.

    


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie and Erin share a moment.

The locker room was pretty standard for a precinct, except everything looked just a little bit newer. The lockers in here were metallic blue, the sheen was still glossy on them despite the fact they were covered in Chicago PD stickers that cops usually handed out to kids when they visited schools. Maggie found herself reviewing each one of them sullenly as she perched on the wooden bench. Her cold hands were clasped between her knees as she shivered against the chill. The air wasn't cool in here and despite that Maggie found she couldn't seem to get warm, it was as if her body was as if her body was shutting down and she realized that this was the last of her adrenaline finally fading.

Detective Erin Lindsey was standing up along side of her, that large crime scene camera in her petite hands as she toyed with the focus attempting to calibrate it. The two of them had barely spoke two words to each other before entering the room and Maggie didn't mind the silence. There was far too much buzzing around her head to even begin to process. She'd been there when Voight had told his team about her, it had been humiliating in a way to hear the last two years of her life laid out like that but she knew they needed that information, so she had sat there quietly while he divulged those details. She understood that he was trying to protect her. The house of cards was beginning to topple and he was doing everything he could to back her up. She was at risk of losing her job and her pension if Regan got his way and Maggie couldn't even bring herself to comprehend that possibility.

"I need you to move your hair back behind your shoulders." Lindsey said gently, interrupting her trail of thoughts.

She should have known it would come to this, she had played the victim a number of times over the years but today she actually was one. What Gregor had done to her needed to be documented, it would be proof that she hadn't simply flipped and gone AWOL, because that was how Regan was going to paint it. A case like this going up in flames while he was up for a promotion, the blame would have to land on someone and she was the easiest target.

Maggie pulled her chestnut tresses back away from the hollow of her collarbone until it settled behind her shoulders. Her slender fingers undid the button on her black blazer allowing it to fall open and reveal her pale flesh marred with streaks of dried blood. Her silver crucifix hung between her breasts on a thin chain, marred by spots of Gregor's life force. Maggie swallowed hard against the gorge rising in her throat at the sight of it. She wanted to clean that precious piece of jewelry but she had to let Lindsey do her job so she kept her hands by her sides as the other woman snapped image after image.

It seemed to go on for an age and during that Maggie only responded to obey Lindsey's instructions. Exhaustion was beginning to set in, Maggie could feel that bone aching weariness beginning to seep through her as Lindsey finally stopped taking pictures and placed the camera back on the bench beside of Maggie.

"I'm sorry to ask this." Lindsey said quietly as her eyes took in the other woman's demeanor. It hadn't escaped her notice that her belt was unclasped, she really hoped that Gregor hadn't gone any further, the stories she had heard about that man were brutal and it made her feel sick to think that he could have hurt the brave woman in front of her. "Did he touch you anywhere else?"

Maggie shook her head at Lindsey's words. What he had done to her was bad enough, she would never admit it but she had been terrified back in that room with him. She had known what his intentions were when he'd shoved her up against that wall and she thanked God that Antonio had given her that knife of his.

_She could feel prickles along the base of her skull as she thought of his brash hands on her body, the excitement in her eyes as he tore open her blouse. His grip, ironclad on her throat as she fought to breath._

Her stomach revolted, Maggie felt it churn as the acidic bile climbed up into the back of her throat. She launched herself at the trashcan, her hands grasping it tightly as she emptied her stomach into it. Her lithe body wretched as she leaned over, it clad only in her bra and trousers. Lindsey's hands were already gathering up her hair and drawing it away from her features keeping it away from the offending trash as she continued to vomit everything she had eaten in the past twenty four hours. Her hands were shaking when she released the trash can, she stared at them feeling her body beginning to vibrate unwillingly.

"It happens to the best of us." Lindsey soothed as Maggie dropped back down onto the wooden bench, raking her chestnut hair way from her pale features with both hands. Lindsey opened her locker before reaching in and removing a bottle of water and handing it off to Maggie. The other woman took it appreciatively; she swilled her mouth out a couple of times before spitting the contents into the trash can.

"He tried to." Maggie said softly, answering Lindsey's earlier question. She clasped the plastic bottle between her hands, her thumbnail picking at the label. "He didn't get very far."

"Good." Lindsey asserted picking up the crime scene camera in her left hand before gesturing at the carrier bag that Nadia had placed beside the bench earlier."I'm going to give you a few minutes to get changed. If you could put your clothes in the evidence bags that would be great."

Lindsey moved towards the exit, she paused for a moment her hand resting on the door frame as she tilted her head towards Maggie.

"Thank you." she said quietly. "My partner is alive today because you broke protocol."

Maggie said nothing; she simply bowed her head in acknowledgment of the other woman's words before she heard Lindsey close the door lightly behind her.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trudy and Voight discuss Maggie's father.

For the first time since Sergeant Trudy Platt had arrived at the station house that morning, the front desk was quiet. There was not a civilian in sight and all personnel were either on patrol or busying themselves in other places. It was a blissful feeling, one that she found herself enjoying as she reached for the sports page of the folded newspaper and flicked it open. Just a few minutes alone with the Chicago Cubs and the latest stats, a girl couldn't ask for more.

A shadow loomed over her newspaper, she recognized the shape and let out a long sigh before placing her palms on the desk and tilting her head towards Hank Voight.

"I know you're not planning on coming between me and this sports page." she told him moodily before he jerked his head towards the empty interview room they used to take statements. Platt rolled her eyes before folding up the newspaper once more and slipping it to her right.

"Sanchez, watch the desk." she barked to the officer working on his paperwork behind her. She heard him scurry into place as she rounded the desk and followed Voight into the other room closing the door behind her.

Hank was standing across from her, his head bent as he rubbed the back of his head with his right hand. This was serious then, she thought dropping into the nearest chair and placing her elbows on the rigid metal table. Over the years she had known Hank Voight she had come to read his moods intuitively and right now he was struggling. She'd only seen it a handful of times but she could spot it straight away. Asking for favours didn't come naturally to Voight, she got that. The other man was the most self-reliant person she knew besides herself so when he came to her like this she knew there was trouble afoot.

"I've got a problem Trudy." Voight told her outright, his gaze weighing heavily upon her as he spoke.

"I'm guessing it's related to that chick you hustled past me a couple of hours ago." Platt responded knowingly.

Hank had the good grace to duck his head, a wry smile crossing over his lips as he spoke. "Nothing gets past you does it?"

"I wouldn't be a good desk Sergeant if it did." she snorted wrinkling. "So what's going on Hank and why are your people running around like they've got rockets up their butts?"

Hank pursed his lips together trying to select the appropriate answer before responding.

"Do you remember Bart O'Neill?" he queried, looking Trudy dead in the eye as he spoke.

Bart O'Neill. Wasn't that a blast from the past? There was a probably a long list of female officers that remembered Bart O'Neill for his inability to keep it in his pants. He'd been a good cop, he had had always had your back in a pinch but he'd been a shitty human being, she knew that from experience. It hadn't taken her too long to figure out he was a married man and by that point his eye had already been straying to the next hot young thing.

"Yea." Trudy said dryly. "I remember Bart."

"He had two kids." Hank submitted. "The boy's a priest at St Luke's and the girl grew up to be a cop."

"The priest thing is pretty ironic." Trudy input pressing the back of her hand to her lips as she laughed. "Bart's probably rolling in his grave at all the wasted potential."

"The girl is his daughter Magdalena, goes by Maggie now. She was a detective up in Narcotics for a while before she joined Vice." Hank told Trudy, his hand coming to rest on the back of the chair across from her. "Antonio and her used to run together before Regan recruited her. She'd solid. Good police."

"Are you getting to the point anytime soon or are we just planning to rehash old flames?" Trudy asked her male counterpart sounding bored.

Voight clutched the back of the chair tightly before he pulled it out and sat down upon it. His clasped hands came to rest on the desk in front of him. "I wouldn't ask for this if I didn't feel it necessary."

"Spit it out already." Trudy told him, leaning back in her seat and folding her arms over her chest.

The truth of the matter was she could already guess what this favor was but she wanted to hear the whole story from the horse's mouth not some diluted version carried to her by Burgess or Roman.

"None of this is public yet so I need you to keep your lips sealed on this." Hank said suffering Trudy's look of disdain at the suggestion of gossip. "Maggie's been working undercover for Superintendent Regan to bring down Oskar Bembenek. On the side she's been slipping me some information, small stuff that could make a difference on the streets that Regan wasn't willing to act on."

"Against protocol but not unusual." Platt responded with a nod urging Hank along with the story.

"Last week she gave me something big." Hank informed Trudy. "Oskar was planning a heist on an armoured van which turned out to be moving evidence in the case against him. We intervened and Oskar was thrown in lock up. "

"Yea, I know that part." Trudy said, leaning forward eagerly to hear the rest of the story.

"What you don't know is that after Oskar's brother Jacob was killed, Oskar put a hundred thousand dollar hit out on Jay and we caught the guy that was paid to kill him. That tip came from Maggie. In the process she blew her cover, meeting up with Antonio. She got back to the office and ended up in a confrontation which resulted in the death of Gregor Polonski. She came here to me because she doesn't trust Regan."

"She's right not to trust him." Trudy input, shaking her head at the situation. "He chews cops up and spits them out broken. I've seen it happen."

"So here's the thing..." Hank started and Trudy knew that anytime anyone ever wanted a favour from her it started with that sentence. "We have the evidence against Oskar and his contacts, stateside and foreign so we're all good on that front."

"However Regan will see it differently. This isn't a win for him since Intelligence moved on it first." Trudy continued for him.

"And he'll want to teach Maggie a lesson for that. She broke protocol so he'll go after her badge and pension and he could get it too." Hank told her, Trudy nodded her understanding. Regan had done it before, he would do it again since he hadn't gotten what he wanted. "Maggie has agreed that starting over may be in her best interests. She has agreed to accept a demotion. However if she does this Regan reserves the right to transfer her to anywhere he wants unless she's got someone backing her corner. You'll have to fight for her and Regan won't make it easy. "

He looked pointedly at Trudy who slowly uncrossed her legs and leaned forward until the two of them were eye to eye. To his credit Voight didn't flinch, he knew what he was asking her to do. Bart O'Neill may have been a rat bastard but it didn't mean that his daughter was and burying her wasn't going to change the damage her father had caused.

Let go of the past or let a good cop rot?

Trudy didn't even have to think about it.

"I'll get the paperwork started."


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Al checks in on Maggie.

It broke Al's heart although he would never admit it outside of these four walls. The others in his team knew the truth about him but that was allowed, outside of Meredith and Lexi they were his family. He liked to pretend on the surface that the job didn't bother him anymore, that he could just go home and decompress like a normal person but that was far from the truth. All those lives that he'd had, all the roles and the identities, they stuck with you. You couldn't forget the things you'd seen or the way you responded. You told yourself you were playing a part, you had become your character but the truth was every job you took made you lose a tiny piece of yourself. Sometimes you got it back and others...

There were just some things that you couldn't hold onto anymore and letting go was the only way to survive. Everyone thought getting out was easy, you could just revert back to your old life and become that person you had been before you'd put your life on hold. It was never that simple, if it was there wouldn't be so many cops eating their own guns further on down the line.

Over the years he'd found ways to compartmentalize, it was a coping mechanism you had to learn otherwise you'd lose yourself entirely. Sometimes it wasn't that easy. On the long cases, the ones that stretched out from a couple of months to years it had a tendency to sneak up on you. You became your role, you lived and breathed their life until it became your own. It could mess with your head, it had messed with his once upon a time and he knew it had messed with Antonio's in his final undercover assignment for Vice. He'd almost gone down the tubes before Al had managed to pull him. It was one of the reasons he had vouched for the other man when Voight had been setting himself up in Intelligence. Antonio was a good cop with an affinity for undercover work, they needed someone like that on their team and Antonio had needed the support. He'd lost Maggie to Regan's case and Al knew it had screwed with the other man's head. You relied on your partner when you were undercover, you had to trust they had your back no matter what the circumstance and Antonio had with Maggie. Al had seen the files and heard the debriefs from Maggie himself when he checked in on her, the two of them were a solid team.

Then it had gone to hell. Maggie had walked away and that trust was broken, Antonio had ridden solo for a while at his own behest and that had been his downfall. Al had made sure that hadn't happened again since the transfer to Intelligence. Their team was tight knit, he made it his personal mission to make sure that nobody slipped through the cracks and with a steady team at his back Antonio had excelled despite the odds being stacked against him. Al didn't worry about him anymore, the other man had come into his own and Al was happy to see it. If Ruzek could take a page out of his book then his professional life would be just peachy.

He turned his attention back to his newest problem, the one sitting alone in the guest chair of Voight's office trying so valiantly to clutch onto every aspect of her self-control. What had happened to Maggie was horrible and it would only get worse before it got better. He'd gotten word from a friend in the Ivory Tower that Regan was on the warpath. Al was sure that the Superintendent would be making an appearance any minute now and he couldn't have Maggie in this wretched state. She needed to appear strong and decisive in the face of this adversity otherwise Regan would back her into a corner even Voight wouldn't be able to get her out of.

Al watched her from his position in the open doorway of Voight's office, he'd been leaning on the door frame for a while now and she hadn't registered his presence. She was falling apart deep inside and it broke Al's heart into a million pieces. Knowing that you were safe and feeling it were two very different things and the fact she had come here showed him she knew that she would be secure here. However it hadn't sunk into her mind yet and he got that. Undercover work was isolating and it could take a long time for the barriers you had spent so much time erecting to eventually break down. Her fingertips were massaging the sore spot in the center of her forehead trying to relieve the tension there. Everything she had witnessed over the past two years, every decision she made and every single thing she'd seen would be playing through her head. She was reliving those moments all over again and Al knew from experiencing how lonely and harrowing that could be.

He closed the door lightly behind him. If she heard it Maggie took no notice. Her eyes were closed when he moved around to her side of the chair, he was careful not to touch her as he crouched down in front of her so that he was eye level, his hands coming to rest on the arms of the chair as he took in her worn features.

"Mags." he said softly, his use of the old nickname was deliberate. It was one from her childhood, one he used to call her when he dropped in to check on her and her brother after Bart had died.

Her blue eyes opened, her gaze was apprehensive as she looked back at him. He could see the vulnerability there underneath the surface. The fierceness he was used to seeing was gone and it took him back all those years ago to when she had been a young girl sitting at the kitchen table hearing him break the news of her father's death. She had been Lexi's age then. There was such sorrow buried deep inside of her, he could see the way it weighted on her and he wanted to strip it all away. He couldn't do that, not right away. There was too much damage here to fix at once but little by little he could help make the load lighter.

"Hey kid, you back with me?" he asked her with a tenderness he reserved only for his daughter.

She nodded slowly, swallowing hard. She didn't trust herself to speak right now, he could see that. Her eyes were shining as she glanced away from him, the back of her hand pressed to her mouth. She was trying to choke it all down but the pill was far too bitter to swallow. She had to let it out otherwise those feelings would just bottle up and become toxic, they'd eat her from the inside out and he wouldn't let Maggie go down that road. He couldn't entertain the thought of attending her funeral. He wouldn't fail her that way.

"Come on kid, talk to me." he urged her. "Let it out. Scream, cry, punch me if that's what you need to get past this. Just let it out."

Maggie shook her head. There were large tears leaking down from her eyes, trailing down the apple of her cheeks as she choked out a sob. The sound was horrific, Al felt it stabbing at his heart as he rose up onto his knees reaching for her. Her shoulders were quivering, her whole body starting to quake as he wrapped his arms around her vulnerable form and cradled her close. Her delicate hands gripped his shirt tightly, the material bunching as she buried her face into his left shoulder.

"I know." He muttered, pressing his rough cheek to the top of her head. His large hand rubbed a soothing circle on her back as she clutched onto him for dear life. "I know kid, just let it all out."


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Al and Antonio discuss Maggie's next steps.

_Eva Dawson: Picture message attached._

_Eva Dawson: Look what I made in Home Economics!_

_Dad: You know how much I love Kipes! Do they taste as good as they look?_

_Eva Dawson: Even better! I'll make them for you when we come over to see your new place._

_Dad: I would love that. We should be up and running by next weekend. Just gotta put your and Diego's beds together and unpack a few things._

_Eva Dawson: The pictures you sent look great, do you want me to bring the ingredients from mom's or can we go shopping on the Saturday?_

_Dad: We'll go shopping on Saturday and pick up some popcorn for movie night, don't forget to bring the movies._

_Eva Dawson: You gotta give me more credit than that! Mom said she'll drop us off at 7pm on Friday if that suits you?_

_Dad: That would be great. I am looking forward to seeing you guys!_

_Eva Dawson: Me too Dad. It's been too long xxx_

Antonio smiled to himself as he read the texts between himself and his daughter. He missed both of his kids so much it made his heart ache. Laura had finally relented on allowing visitation rights, they still needed to iron out the custody issues but he would be happy just to spend a little time with them. It felt like it had been an age since that had happened and he was determined to make sure that they knew that he was still their dad and that his feelings for them hadn't changed. He'd moved out of the family home last week and into a house of his own not too far away so he could be in the area if they needed him. Him and Laura were still discussing child support but the divorce seemed to be heading in a more positive direction now and he was glad for that. He didn't want his kids damaged by the fact their parents simply couldn't be together anymore. They seemed to be taking the divorce in their stride and he was grateful for that.

He placed his phone down on the surface of his desk on top of the paperwork he had been trying to work on for the past couple of hours. He rubbed his hands over his weary face in an attempt to shake away the cobwebs. It had been a long day and he knew the way things were working out that it was going to be a long night for him. Everyone else from Intelligence had gone home so the office was empty with the exception of Al who was floating around doing God knows what. The other man had the uncanny ability of appearing and disappearing at times of his choosing.

Antonio picked up his pen between his fingers and tapped it lightly against the desk as he cast a glance at Voight's office. The blinds were still down, shielding Voight, Maggie and Superintendent Regan from his view, what he wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall in there right now. There had been some raised voices about half an hour ago but since then everything had been quiet Antonio didn't know if that was a good or bad thing. He hated this, he hated the waiting and it drive him nuts not knowing what was going on in that room.

"I see they are still at it." Al asked appearing alongside Antonio, almost giving the younger man a heart attack.

"Jesus Al, we need to put a bell on you." Antonio snapped as Al leaned on Lindsey's desk and peered over his shoulder at Voight's office.

"Bell wouldn't work." Al responded, altering his hat so it sat more comfortably on his head.

"Noted." Antonio said, clicking the pen mechanism with his thumb as he stared at the door to Voight's office and willing it to open.

"Hey, thanks for sticking around tonight man." Al said , reaching out and clasping Antonio's shoulder in a fatherly fashion. "It'll be good for her to be around someone familiar. These first few days can be the worst."

Antonio knew what he meant, that last case he had worked in Vice had almost devastated him, the only thing that kept him sane was the thought of his kids. His love for them was boundless and they had seen him through that adjustment period afterwards. When things got tough he thought of his children and how they made his world an even brighter place.

"I was planning to anyway." Antonio found himself admitting as he clicked the pen once more. "I've got the space, it makes sense for her to stay a couple of days. Besides I have a ridiculous amount of flat pack furniture that I need help to build."

"Ahh quid pro quo." Al said with a knowing smile. "I'm going to take off but text me to let me know how it goes."

"You know I will." Antonio reassured the older man.

Al tipped his hat towards the younger detective before gathering up his holdall and leaving Antonio all alone.

* * *

Maggie looked exhausted by the time she left Voight's office an hour later. The dark circles under her eyes were a stark contrast against her pale features. Her loose hair cascaded over her shoulders, arranged to fall over the curvature of her slender throat to hide the vivid bruising that marred her skin. He wanted to tell her not to bother, that she shouldn't have hide them because they were a badge of honour, the mark of a survivor. Her fingertips were trembling as she fumbled with the zipper on the grey hoodie that Nadia must have purchased for her.

"Here let me." he said gently, his warm hands lightly removing hers from the mechanism before he fastened the zip and drew it up to her chin.

Maggie rose those cobalt blue eyes to meet his dark ones. He could see how tired she was, how much that emotional exhaustion was choking her up deep inside. Part of him couldn't believe that she was standing here right in front of him. Maggie had always been so fierce and independent but seeing her like this reminded him that she was just as human as he was, that sometimes you just needed someone in your corner. Tonight she needed to feel safe and he was happy to oblige. He reached out for her, his heated fingertips skating lightly over the apple of her cheek until he cupped her cheek.

Maggie smiled against the palm of his hand and Antonio felt like he was seeing it for the first time all over again. He had forgotten how good it felt to see her grin like that, it made him feel like the worst was over and that things were finally heading in the right direction, not just for her or him as individuals but for them. He drew her close, his hand lightly resting on the back of her neck as he guided her towards his chest, his sensual lips brushing her hairline. Her arms looped around his waist, clutching onto him with a desperation he could feel vibrating through the bones of his body. She craved that sanctuary and he would do anything to make sure that she felt secure. His thumb caressed the nape of her neck as he breathed in that sweet floral scent of hers. For the first time in a long time it felt that everything was in just the right place.

"I missed you." she murmured into the confines of his chest, her lips ghosting over the space just above his heart. Antonio closed his eyes at the sensation, burying his face into her silky hair as he spoke.

"I missed you too."


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie is right where she needs to be.

People didn't understand what cops sacrificed for their job, they didn't understand what cops gave up and what they lost, Antonio had always thought that. Hell he was a few days away from becoming a thirty something divorcee with two kids. On top of that he had been shot twice and injured on the job more times than he cared to admit. His flesh was littered with scars from altercations or near misses, the pattern of his career etched upon his skin like a timeline. However he would never give it up, the work he did was important to him, it made the city a safer place for his children to grow up in.

In his heart he knew that Maggie was the same, life hadn't been easy for her. While he'd been slinging dime bags at the age of fourteen trying to make ends meet for his mom, she'd been downtown taking care of her own ailing mother while her dad spent his nights in the closest bar fraternizing with badge bunnies. It wasn't a secret and Maggie didn't treat it as such. It was something that had ghosted her through her years as a cop, he'd heard the sneers behind her back.

_Like father, like daughter..._

He'd put a few people in their place when he'd heard those rumours. Maggie had had a couple of boyfriends during her time on the force, her most serious relationship had lasted a few of years before it had fizzled out. She was honest, dependent and secure. She didn't deserve her father's legacy but it was a choice she didn't get to make.

He had made the decision to bring her back to his place tonight. He knew it had been the right one as he lingered in the doorway of his bedroom, his bare shoulder resting on the door frame. He had never thought he would see the day that Maggie O'Neill ended up in his bed but here she was tangled up in his sheets, clad only his navy blue CPD t-shirt and a pair of boxing shorts that were way too small for him. Her long lean legs were hooked around quilt. Antonio allowing his gaze to drop to that small Celtic knot tattooed on her left ankle and he found himself smiling. Her dark hair cascaded over his pillow as she muttered in her sleep burying her face even deeper into it. He had never seen Maggie look as carefree as she did right now. There was an innocence there in her pretty features that she never allowed anyone else to see and he felt privileged to be able to observe this side of her. It said a lot about her faith in him. He watched the rise and fall of her chest, his heart berating even harder in his chest. He'd almost lost her today and that thought tortured him more than he would care to admit.

It was the nature of their job, he was aware of that. With Laura he hadn't had to worry about the trouble she was going to get herself into, she was a nice Catholic girl who had taken over the running of her father's restaurant. His soon to be ex-wife had never been the rough and tumble type. His Maggie was the direct opposite and he knew instead of running away from the danger she would always run right towards it. They were similar in that respect and now that the shoe was on the other foot, he had to give his ex credit because after today he wanted nothing more than to wrap Maggie up in cotton wool. He refused to do that, Maggie deserved better and he knew that the job was as much a part of her as it was him. He would never make her choose between him and her career as a cop, he knew what it was like to be placed in that terrible position. He could go crazy thinking of all the things that could happen to her in their line of work, he had known years ago that he was falling in love with her, he just hadn't had the balls to admit it to himself at the time. His feelings hadn't changed in the time they'd been apart, every time he'd laid eyes on her they'd gotten just that little bit stronger until he couldn't deny them anymore.

It was that knowledge that was plaguing him right now. What happened next would be life changing, he could feel it in the very depths of his soul but it had to be on Maggie's terms. He wouldn't rush her not after everything she'd been through. She'd waited for him long enough.

"Sweet dreams." he whispered into the darkness as he took a step back out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie recalls her and Antonio's time as partners.

" _I wandered today to the hills Maggie, to watch the scene below,  
The creek and the creaking old mill, Maggie, as we used to long, long ago," Detective Antonio Dawson sung under his breath, tapping out a tune on the steering wheel with his fingertips as his keen eyes took in the street around them._

" _Yo Dawson, quit it." his partner Detective Maggie O'Neill muttered, using the back of her hand to slap his arm. He tilted his head towards her, watching as she selected a yellow M &M from the open packet on the dashboard and popped it into her mouth._

" _We've been watching this guy for three hours already, I have to do something to entertain myself." he huffed before reaching over and flicking open the glove compartment. "I may have that Rod Stewart song Maggie May on CD somewhere."_

" _Don't you dare." she scowled at him, slamming the glove compartment shut with her palm and almost catching his fingers in it. There was silence between them for a few moments whilst Maggie slumped down in her seat, her eyes flickering closed as she buried her nose even deeper into the confines of her gunmetal grey scarf. Antonio didn't blame her, inside of the car was almost as cold as outside of it. They were both bundled up in their winter coats, sporting woollen hats upon their heads. He didn't think he could count the amount of layers that he was wearing underneath his jacket. They'd been following the suspect around for best part of a day now and all they'd gotten was cold._

" _I can't believe that this is taking so long." Maggie murmured, banging the back of her head against the head rest of her seat in boredom. "Just take us to the where Jacobs is hiding."_

" _Hey, guys got errands to run just like everybody else." Antonio responded, leaning back in his own seat in an attempt to get comfortable. "You need to chill."_

" _I get anymore 'chill' and you're gonna be driving around with an icicle in your car." she informed him, intentionally hissing out the last word so that he could see the condensation in the air. They fell into a comfortable silence once more as Maggie pulled her fur-lined hood up over her head and crossed her arms over her chest._

_Antonio began to hum softly under his breath, his gaze slipping to Maggie before he began to hum the tune even louder. Her eyes snapped open as he tilted her head towards him._

" _Are you serious?" she snapped at him, her cobalt blue eyes narrowing in disdain at his choice of song._

" _It's in my head now, if you'd just let me play the C.D we wouldn't be having any of this." Antonio chuckled before resuming his humming._

" _If you had put that Rod Stewart C.D in I would have thrown it out of the window." she told him before sighing loudly. "I hate you."_

_Antonio broke into a wide smile, his attention coming to rest on the doorway to the building that they were watching._

" _Admit it you love me." he teased her, his fingertips tapping along to the tune in his head once more as he awaited her reply._

" _Not even in your wildest dreams Antonio."_

Those words rang in Maggie's ears as she leaned against the black work surface in Antonio's new kitchen, stirring in another spoonful of sugar. Jesus those days felt like they were a life time ago. The two of them had just been partners, messing around and killing time during a stakeout and now she'd spent the night wrapped up in his sheets, dressed in his clothes, albeit she had been sleeping alone. However there had been something so soothing about being surrounded by his essence, his pillow had smelt like him and she'd woken up this morning with her face pressed into it inhaling his rich, masculine scent feeling safer than she had in a long time. He was intoxicating, she could admit that. She had spent years craving his touch, sometimes when she was undercover she would think about him lying in bed beside her, his hands gliding all over her body with that wicked glint in his dark eyes. She'd pushed those images aside when they had been partners, she hadn't wanted him to see those tell-tale signs of arousal, she hadn't wanted him to know what it did to her every time he laid his hands upon her. He'd figured it out eventually and it was at that point she realized that the attraction was mutual. The way he responded to her sometimes had made her nerve endings sizzle with anticipation and when that happened she would force herself to stare down on that gold band adorning his left hand. She could look but she could never touch.

That had changed now and if she was honest she had no idea where that left them. They hadn't talked about what would happen when she left the operation, the focus had been on getting her out and that had happened so quickly her head was still spinning from it. This time yesterday she had been Magdalena Murphy, sipping a latte at her desk in Osker's accounting firm, trying to figure out a way to smuggle out that flash drive and now she was Maggie O'Neill, soon to be the Twenty First District's newest patrol officer. It was disconcerting to say the least.

"I thought I smelt coffee." Antonio murmured as he breezed into the kitchen and making a beeline for the filtered coffee machine perching on his work surface. His sleek black hair was still damp and he was dressed in those denim jeans that fitted him just right and that familiar sea foam colored t-shirt. The color contrasted well against his skin tone, hugging his boxer's physique in a way that made her body flush with heat. He had been in the shower when she had awoken this morning, she had tread lightly past the bathroom, pausing for the briefest second when she heard the water running. A couple of months ago she would have opened that door and stepped inside to join him.

However after yesterday, she simply couldn't bring herself to do it. She felt like she had been flayed apart in one aspect, her emotions raw and open for the world to see. She'd given too much of herself away and claiming it back was taking longer than she had expected. She needed to figure things out for herself before she could commit to anything again. She knew that's what he wanted and it was the same for her, one time would never be enough for either of them and Maggie didn't have enough of herself to give away at the moment.

She watched as Antonio poured the coffee into a mug he pulled from the cupboard above the coffee machine, Maggie smiled against her own mug as she read the words 'World's Best Dad.' She'd seen the ceramic gift this morning while she was hunting around his cupboards for the supplies to make the coffee.

"You sleep ok?" he asked her, busying himself with adding sugar to his own mug before turning his full attention onto her.

Those dark eyes of his were smouldering, she felt her breath hitch as he surveyed her with unbridled interest. She was wearing his clothes, she had slept in his bed and now she was in his kitchen making them coffee. She knew what that was doing to him but he kept it in check, she could see the restraint there and she was glad for it. She trusted this man with her life, he refused to take advantage of that. Knowing that he still desired her despite the fact she was emotionally battered and physically bruised was a complete turn on. It helped her retain some of the self-confidence that she had been in the midst of losing.

"Well enough." she responded before addressing another issue that had been playing on her mind. "I'm sorry I took your bed. I just crashed after I took that shower."

"Don't be." he chided her. "A lot happened yesterday. I'm just glad you were comfortable enough to take it."

"I was." she said deliberately. "However I insist on taking the couch tonight."

Antonio laughed and Maggie found herself smiling. She had missed that sound, having it back in her life again made her heart pound just that little bit faster.

"My house my rules." he informed her before heading towards the living room, Maggie trailing after him. "For as long as you stay here you take the bed."

The bedding he had used last night was folded up in a neat pile on the arm of his black leather sofa. Antonio sat down beside it, placing his socked feet upon the sturdy wooden coffee table. Maggie sighed as she sat down on the opposite side of the sofa across from the mantelpiece. Her eyes came to rest on the framed pictures of his children perched there haphazardly. There were still cardboard boxes, half unpacked around the place but he had gotten the important stuff out first.

"I hate to bring this up with everything else you have going on at the minute but how are you planning to explain this arrangement to your children." Maggie said gently, folding her legs underneath her as she wrapped hands tightly around her coffee mug.

Antonio's shoulders tensed at her words, she could see the line of his jaw beginning to clench as he exhaled deeply through his nose. There was something wrong, she could feel it over their fleeting connection and it tore her up inside, she reached out a hand, placing it tenderly on his knee.

"That won't be a problem for now." he answered, his gaze lowering into the dark pools of his mug. "Laura's cancelled their visit at the weekend. Her lawyer thinks its best they don't stay overnight until we've hashed out the custody agreement."

It killed her to see him hurting like this. His marriage may have broken down, but those kids were Antonio's lifeline. Deep inside she knew it had to be ripping him apart that he couldn't spend time with them. There were no words that she could say that would change the way he was feeling so she simply sat beside him, her thumb lightly ghosting over the hollow of his kneecap as a symbol of solidarity. Antonio's warm hand clasped hers, their fingers entwining as he turned his head towards her so that she could see the truth in those soulful dark eyes as he spoke.

"I'm glad your back Maggie." He said his voice rough with emotion. "Going through the past year without you has been a living hell."


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Text Speak

Maggie O'Neill: (Group Text: Antonio Dawson, Hank Voight, Alvin Olinsky) This is my new number :)

* * *

Hank Voight: Thanks.

* * *

Al Olinsky: Got it. You busy tonight?

Maggie O'Neill: Was gonna spend the night looking up apartments but I can be persuaded otherwise.

Al Olinsky: Molly's at 8pm. You are buying.

Maggie O'Neill: You invited me out!

* * *

Antonio Dawson: Welcome back to the digital world :) Did you get the things I left for you on the coffee table?

Maggie O'Neill: You have no idea how good it is to have my identification back. Thanks for holding onto it for me! And the key to my lock up. My furniture is all still intact which is good news.

Antonio Dawson: No problem. You're officially Maggie O'Neill again!

Maggie O'Neill: Feel like celebrating tonight?

Antonio Dawson: Would have loved to but I have a private security gig tonight. Rain check?

Maggie O'Neill: Of course. I'll be at Molly's if you finish early if not I'll see you at home. x

* * *

Jay Halstead: Yo Toni, you got Maggie's number?

Antonio Dawson: I do but not sure I wanna be sharing it.

Jay Halstead: I just want to take her for a drink.

Antonio Dawson: Still not giving it to you.

Jay Halstead: Stop being such an ass. I want to take her for a drink to say thanks for saving my life.

Antonio Dawson: Uh huh.

Jay Halstead: What kind of dog do you think I am?

Antonio Dawson:...

* * *

Kim Burgess: Platt has just informed me I am getting a new partner.

Adam Ruzek: What happened to Roman?

Kim Burgess: He has to go away to do those coaching and mentoring courses so that he can become a training officer. I feel like I should be concerned. She just told me this girl hasn't arrested anyone in over two years!

Adam Ruzek: She's yanking your chain.

Kim Burgess: How do you know that?! Is she matching me up with another nightmare? I went through enough after Atwood joined you upstairs.

Adam Ruzek: I promise you, she's not giving you a nightmare.

Kim Burgess: How can you know that?!

Adam Ruzek: I've met her. She's a good cop, you'll like her.

Kim Burgess: So she has arrested someone in the past two years.

Adam Ruzek: No, she's right about that...

Kim Burgess: Adam, get down here right now and explain this to me!

* * *

Trudy Platt: I hear your girl is looking for a place to live.

Antonio Dawson: Where'd you hear that?

Trudy Platt: Around. I got a friend whose tenants just bailed. It's a nice place. She can move in as soon as she wants. Doesn't come with furniture.

Antonio Dawson: I'll text you her number.

* * *

Trudy Platt: 13A Sycamore. Be there tomorrow at 10am.

Maggie O'Neill: I have no idea who this is.

Trudy Platt: You're new Sergeant at the Twenty First District. Platt.

Maggie O'Neill: Hi Sergeant Platt :) What's at 13A Sycamore?

Trudy Platt: You'll find out tomorrow.

* * *

Antonio Dawson: Hi, do you mind if I come over tomorrow to see the kids? Maybe grab dinner at the restaurant?

Laura Dawson: It might be a better idea for you to come Thursday. Diego has soccer practice tomorrow and Ava's got a study group. I'm sorry about this weekend, I just think we need to do what the lawyer says until we have custody arranged.

Antonio Dawson: Thursday works for me. See you then.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie reunites with her brother.

St Luke's was a tall beautiful redbrick church in the old Irish neighborhood that Maggie had raised in. She'd spent ten minutes walking around before ending up here sucking in the essence of her childhood. The house that she had grown up with was just around the corner, her brother and herself had sold it after their parents had died. Gabriel had been entering the clergy after obtaining his degree in child education so it had made sense at the time for the two of them to divide the asset especially since Maggie had needed money for night school in order to obtain her qualification in accounting. There had been a lot of good memories created there and it warmed her heart just a little to see that the current owners were keeping it in good condition.

Maggie paused for a moment as she walked up the narrow pathway leading to St Luke's, her fingertips gently brushing along the silky petals of a tall ivory rose that was flourishing in the modest garden. Her pert pink lips twitched into a small smile. They had been her mother's favorite flower when she had been alive and Maggie was happy that her brother continued to honor her in that way. Him and his troupe of volunteers had worked wonders on this little garden and she was fiercely proud of Gabriel for finding a way to serve his community on his own terms. Their father had always tried to push his oldest son to become a cop but it had never stuck. Gabe had never had the same drive to serve and protect and he was a pacifist at heart. He had always wanted to fix the root of a problem instead of merely containing the symptoms. Becoming a member of the Catholic church was his way of doing that, she had lost track of the amount of community programs that were now available to both children and adults because of him. She wondered sometimes how he worked so tirelessly, how he stayed strong in the face of adversity when it wore her down little by little every single day.

Maggie rearranged the strap of her battered, brown leather satchel across her chest before swallowing hard against the lump in her throat. It felt so hard for her to step into this building. She couldn't say how much she missed her brother during her time undercover. In the past he'd always been on the other end of the phone if she needed him, he had always been her rock, his guidance insightful and wise and then she'd isolated herself. At the time she knew that Gabe would disapprove of what was happening between her and Antonio and she'd gotten lost in the shame of that. Gabe had always been able to read her like a book so she hadn't called and she hadn't visited and when it had become too much for her to bear, instead of turning to him for support she'd stepped right out of her life and into a new one.

Maggie dipped her fingertips into the marble font of holy water, making the sign of the cross before stepping over the threshold of the foyer into the church itself. Her vivid blue eyes scanned along the pews, seeking out her brother among the patrons. She couldn't see him there but that wasn't unusual. She glanced at the confessional booth before heading towards it instinctively. It seemed ironic in a way that they would meet like this. She sat upon the uncomfortable door, closing the door behind of her. She could see the profile of his sharp features on the other side of the privacy screen, so similar to her own.

"Bless me Father for I have sinned. It has been almost three years since my last confession." Maggie uttered, her elbows resting on her knees as she clasped her hands together as if in prayer.

"Speak my child for you will be heard." Her brother's throaty tones spoke through the screen. His voice was compassionate and professional, Maggie felt like she didn't deserve that compassionate. It must have hurt her brother terribly when she'd left.

"Father, I made a mistake a few years ago." Maggie said, her head bowed as she looked at her dainty hands. "I hurt my brother when I walked out of his life and I have no idea how to fix it."

"Maggie?" His voice faltered as he said her name, making her heart bleed just a little. It reminded her of cool nights outside in their back garden down the street, camping out in a tent their father had set up for them and telling ghost stories.

"Gabe..." she said affectionately.

The mahogany door banged on the opposite side of the confessional booth and Maggie found herself stepping out of her side before she was swooped up in the biggest bear hug she had ever experienced. Her feet left the floor as Gabe picked her up, clutching her as close as he possible could. He placed her back down again, his black cassock billowed out around him as he held her at arms length, his familial blue eyes studying every inch of her.

"Antonio told me that you were ok but I have to see with my own eyes." he told her, his eyes lingering on the pale green scarf at her throat. Maggie fussed with it self consciously. It didn't surprise her that Antonio had been in contact with her brother. It had come out last night on the way home that her ex partner had been attending Sunday services here at the church so he could let Gabe know how she was doing. She appreciated that more than she cared to admit. When she had left she hadn't thought of the worry it would cause him.

"Yea." Maggie remarked as Gabe took her hands in his and let her to the first row of pews so the two of them could sit down. "He's good like that."

"He is a good man." Gabe said purposely. "He was then and he is now."

Maggie sighed before casting her gaze away so that it came to rest on the large flickering candles on either side of the alter. She had left a mess to clean up and it appeared that Antonio had taken care of the hard part for her. She hadn't realised that he was still watching out for her back then.

"He told you." Maggie said gravely, staring into the heart of the flames.

"A couple of weeks after you left he came to see me. I couldn't make sense of what would have made you leave. I thought it was something I had done or said..." Gabe told her, his arm coming to rest along the back of the pew as Maggie's raked her fingers through her hair as if she was trying to shake loose the guilt that was resting on her shoulders. "...And instead you'd fallen in love."

"With a married man." Maggie finished, taking care to look her brother straight in the eye.

"You thought I would judge you." he said simply, staring back at her.

"You and the man upstairs." Maggie uttered pointing her finger up towards the ceiling.

"You never did anything about it." Gabe reminded her, his hand resting reassuringly on his sister's arm.

"I wanted to." Maggie whispered, her gaze cast downward. "Every day it was getting harder and harder to be around him and I knew he felt the same so I bailed before anything could happen."

"You never did do well with spiritual conflict. Everything is black and white for you." Gabe told her, squeezing her arm to empathize his understanding of the situation. He didn't blame her, that much was apparent and she thanked God for that. "You planning on sticking around for a little while?"

Maggie nodded her response, following Gabe's lead when he rose from the pew and spoke.

"Let's go grab a coffee and you can tell me all about what happens next."


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie takes her first step into Molly's.

Molly's was a cute corner bar within walking distance of both the station house and Antonio's new home, which suited Maggie down to the ground. The neighbourhood was one in the midst of gentrification so it seemed like it was in the bar was in the right place at the right time. The outside looked much like a simple sports bar and Maggie felt those butterflies flitting in her stomach before she forced herself to take hold of the door handle. She hadn't gotten out much in the past few years, her social interactions were limited to Osker's friends and employees so the thought of any social occasion made her stomach churn. The bar was popular among law enforcement personnel as well as firefighters and hospital staff. She would probably end up working closely with some of the people who attended this bar so the way that she was perceived was important to her. She reached for the door handle and then stopped, her hand frozen. That anxiety was riding up inside of her and she found she couldn't bring herself to take that final step and actually pull open the door.

_This was a bad idea_ , she thought. _I'm not ready for this..._

She felt his presence before he actually touched her. Antonio's warm familiar hand came to rest on her lower back guiding her gently to one side so that patrons could enter and exit the premises.

"We going in or are we staying out here?" He asked her softly. "Either way is fine with me."

"I don't know yet." she responded honestly, her gaze fixated on the door handle as she opened and closed her fist. "I mean physically it shouldn't be this hard to grab a door handle."

"But mentally your stepping into uncharted territory." he rationalized, his soulful dark eyes full of understanding as his thumb rubbed along the curve of her spine. "Acclimation is hard and it takes time."

Maggie nodded her agreement, inhaling through her nose and exhaling through her mouth in an attempt to steady the nerves that were ricocheting through her body.

"How about we do this together?" Antonio asked, taking Maggie's hand in his own and lacing his fingers with hers. "We just gotta step right through that door."

Maggie looked down at their joined hands before following Antonio's lead.

* * *

Inside of the bar was beautiful, that was the only way that Maggie could describe the place as she stepped over the threshold, her eyes instantly raising to the ceiling as she took in the gorgeous array of lights hanging there. The bar was light and airy and had a warm, welcoming feel to it.

"Can you believe that Gabby owns part of this place?" Antonio asked as he guided Maggie through the throng of people as he headed towards a table near the back.

"It definitely has her touch." Maggie said as she took in the decor with an appreciative eye. "It looks amazing in here."

It did, Maggie had never felt such life in a place before, it was as if you could feel the energy of the place crackling in the air. Antonio's grip on her hand tightened as he reached a table occupied by Al and Halstead. The two men glanced at their entwined hands before Al removed his jacket from the seat beside him and patting the red velvet. Maggie slipped onto the bar stool as Al used his fingertips to push a clean empty wine glass towards her before pouring red wine into her glass from the bottle already on the table.

"I guess I'll be buying my own drink." Antonio murmured before stepping away from the table and disappearing to the busy bar.

There were perks to being Gabby's brother and getting served quickly here at Molly's was one of them. He raised his hand to signal to the bartender who held up a single finger to indicate he wait a moment. Next to him Sean Roman withdrew his wallet and removed a twenty dollar bill in order to pay for the drinks that were currently sitting on the bar in front of him.

"Thanks for getting someone to cover for me tonight. I didn't want to miss this." Antonio said, casting a glance over this shoulder at Maggie as she threw back her head and laughed at something Al had said.

It was a beautiful sound and it hit him straight in the heart. He'd longed to hear that sound for what seemed like an age and it brought a smile to his handsome features.

"I get you." Roman said knowingly. "Sometimes it really is just about taking care of your own, on or off the job."

"Yea, it is." Antonio agreed before reviewing Roman's drinks. There was a pint of beer on the bar alongside a dirty martini. "I am guessing you have company."

"Kayla Sharpe from Ambulance 61." Roman said, taking a sip of his beer as he cast a glance at the girl sitting on a table nearby. Antonio followed his gaze, watching as the striking brunette tapped out a message on her cellphone.

"Its early days." Roman informed Antonio. "But I am quietly confident."

Antonio smiled at the other man's words before wishing him the best of luck.

* * *

"You know I get it now." Jay Halstead uttered to Maggie, tipping his beer bottle towards her.

Al had excused himself to go to the bathroom leaving the two of them sitting alone at the bar table. She didn't know Halstead but Antonio did and she trusted his judgement.

"Get what?" Maggie asked, her slim fingers toying with the stem of the wine glass as she spoke.

"Why Antonio wouldn't give me your number." Halstead responded, raising his eyebrows knowingly.

Maggie snorted at the suggestion.

"Antonio knows I value my privacy." Maggie informed the other man. "And to be honest you aren't my type."

"Ouch." Halstead said, placing his palm to his heart in mock pain. "And that was made abundantly clear when the two of you walked in here holding hands."

There was silence for a moment between the two of them before Halstead rolled his beer bottle between his palms.

"I just want to say thanks." he said, meeting her gaze head on, honesty shining in his eyes as he continued. "You didn't have to break protocol but you did and it saved my life."

Maggie clinked her glass against his beer bottle before responding.

"You are very welcome."


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A series of texts exchanged between members of the Chicago PD.

Antonio Dawson: Sorry I missed you this morning. How was the apartment?

Maggie O'Neill: No problem. It was actually really nice, good size and the rent is a pretty good price for the location.

Antonio Dawson: You thinking of taking it?

Maggie O'Neill: It's a great place. I am seriously considering it besides aren't you getting bored of having a roommate?

Antonio Dawson: You know I'm not. You can stay as long as you like.

Maggie O'Neill: Come take a look when you get off shift and tell me what you think.

Antonio Dawson: I'll text you to let you know when I'm leaving. x

Maggie O'Neill: See you then x

* * *

Jay Halstead: You owe me $50.

Erin Lindsey: For what?!

Jay Halstead: Antonio and Maggie, they're a thing.

Erin Lindsey: They are not a thing!

Jay Halstead: Oh trust me they are a thing. They were holding hands in Molly's.

Erin Lindsey: You are not getting $50 for hand holding. There has to be kissing at least.

Jay Halstead: 'At least' makes it sound seedy.

Erin Lindsey: You are such a perv.

* * *

Sean Roman: Hey, Asher wants to know if you can work for him tonight.

Antonio Dawson: As long as it is after 7pm that suits me.

Sean Roman: Cool. I will let you know.

* * *

Kim Burgess: It was great to meet you last night. I hope your head doesn't feel as bad as mine does.

Maggie O'Neill: It was great to meet you too. I admit it was a struggle getting up this morning. How do those guys in Intelligence put so much away?

Kim Burgess: They are not normal. Never do shots with Lindsey, she can drink anyone under the table.

Maggie O'Neill: Duly noted. I'll catch up with you for first shift tomorrow.

Kim Burgess: I look forward to it!

* * *

Trudy Platt: You need to re-qualify for your firearms. It's been over two years since you fired a gun on record.

Maggie O'Neill: Do you have a particular time in mind?

Trudy Platt: I'll meet you at the firing range at 8am tomorrow. You'll need to bring a second witness.

Maggie O'Neill: I'll see you there

* * *

Maggie O'Neill: Sorry to be a pain but I need a favour.

Kayla Sharpe: If I can help, I will x

Maggie O'Neill: I need another witness to re-qualify for firearms. It's tomorrow at 8am and everyone else is stuck on shift.

Kayla Sharpe: 8am is fine. I can meet you at the firing range but you owe me a drink next time we're at Molly's.

Maggie O'Neill: Thank you! x

* * *

Kayla Sharpe: So I had a great time last night...

Sean Roman: Me too! That thing you did with your tongue blew my mind x

Kayla Sharpe: I could say the same about yours!

* * *

Laura Dawson: Hi Antonio. Thursday's cancelled. Sorry.

Antonio Dawson: Are you kidding me?

Laura Dawson: No. I think its best you don't see the kids until we've settled on custody.

Antonio Dawson: Pick up the phone.

Antonio Dawson: I'm serious Laura, pick up the phone and talk to me.

* * *

Jay Halstead: I think Antonio just broke his phone.

Erin Lindsey: It's definitely broken. There's a piece of it on my desk.

Jay Halstead: Was that his department phone?

Erin Lindsey: No. It was his personal so at least he's not gonna have to explain that.

* * *

Adam Ruzek: See I told you, you had nothing to worry about.

Kim Burgess: I know that now. It was good to meet her before we start working together. I can't believe Platt was yanking my chain so much about her.

Adam Ruzek: At least you know the real story there.

Kim Burgess: Yea, trust me it's better than the rumours I've been hearing.

Adam Ruzek: There are rumours?

Kim Burgess: Yea and they're not good.

Adam Ruzek: At least you can put people straight.

Kim Burgess: That's my intention :)


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Antonio's daughter makes a surprise visit to the precinct.

The clear plastic bag was full of thin green plastic cards, each with a black stripe on the back and serial number imprinted onto them. There were hundreds of them bundled into packs of varying denominations, held in place with thin elastic bands. There was silence for a moment as Maggie and Burgess stared at the bag before their gaze flickered up to Sergeant Platt who was standing above them, on the opposite side of the front desk.

"Congratulations. The two of you are on gun buy back duty at the Grocery store over on Ashton." Maggie and Kim both looked at each other questioningly for a moment before Maggie decided to speak up.

"What does that entail?" she asked cautiously.

She already had the feeling that Sergeant Platt didn't like her. The other woman spoke in short clipped sentences, her brown eyes were always seemed to be watching Maggie as if they were waiting for her to slip up and commit career suicide. The Sergeant's thin grey eyebrows furrowed in confusion before she stared back at Maggie uncomprehending, the older woman's gaze shifted to the grocery cards before flickering back to Maggie once more.

_She thinks I am an idiot._  Maggie thought, trying to make her expression as impassive as possible. She didn't want to care what the Sergeant thought but there was a tiny part of her that did and it irked her.

The truth was they hadn't had the gun buyback program when Maggie had been in patrol, the initiative was only a couple of years old. She was finding that was something that she would have to work on, patrol officers were involved with a lot of community outreach programs and officers were expected to know the mechanics of them when they were assigned.

"People turn in guns, you give them a grocery gift card. No questions asked." Sergeant Platt explained abruptly before making a shooing motion with her hands. "Now go! Scoot! This requires no further explanation."

Maggie snatched up the gift cards in one hand before following Burgess to where they kept their outdoor supplies.

* * *

Antonio was furious. He could feel that familiar prickle of fear running up his spine as that fire in his belly whipped up a storm inside of him. His gaze fixated on the young teenage girl stood in the corner, her green backpack resting on the indoor wooden bench that she was sitting on. It felt like an age since he had seen his daughter, she was still as beautiful as the day he had packed up his things and left. She had Laura's slim oval face and amber colored eyes but the rest of her from her thick black hair to her nose and ears was all him. She rose to her feet as he called her name, his heart pounding in his chest as he reviewed every inch of her, checking her for injury. He had no idea she was here but if someone had hurt her he would kill them for it, there was no question of that in his mind.

"I know what you're gonna say and just know that I'm fine." the words tumbled out of her as she hurried to reassure him. "Everything's fine."

It did not do much to calm the protective animal that was pacing around inside of him. If Eva was here it meant that Laura had to be nearby and he wasn't sure that he could face a second round with her after the things she had said to him this morning.

"Where's your mother?" he asked finally, staring down at his fourteen year old daughter.

"She's home." Eva said, her lower lip trembling as she spoke. "I took the train."

It was at that point Antonio felt himself implode. Jesus Christ, Laura had called him a bad parent and now their daughter was showing up at the police station having ridden the train by herself. Did she know what could happen to her? Of course she did, because he had drilled it into both her and Diego's brains so many times before. They knew that it was dangerous, that kids weren't safe wandering around by themselves. He thought she would have been a hell of a lot more careful after what happened with Diego the year before last.

"By yourself?! Does your mom know?" he heard his voice raising and he couldn't stop himself. He wanted to shake his only daughter to try to make her understand how bad that could have been. Kids disappeared all the time and he couldn't stand the thought of something happening to his children, he would never forgive himself if it did.

"I called, and I just left a message." Eva informed him calmly.

He looked away from her, his jaw clenching as his brain fumbled over the words. He was so angry right now and so relieved at the same time. His daughter was right here and nothing had happened to her but in his head it didn't mean that something couldn't. What if this happened again? Just because nothing had happened this time didn't mean that it wouldn't the second.

"You're grounded." He said abruptly, jabbing his finger at her as he struggled to collect himself. "You're as grounded as you've ever been."

There were tears in Eva's eyes now, he could see them brimming up over the edges of her big brown eyes as she stared back at him, her shoulders quivering.

"Dad, don't you wanna know why I came here?" she questioned, her voice breaking as he glared back at her.

"No!" he responded firmly. "I don't want to hear anything out of your mouth right now except, 'I'm sorry, won't happen again, dad.' That's all I want to hear."

"Antonio." Voight beckoned from the stairwell, his steely gaze flickering between Antonio and his daughter. "Hayden Tannenbaum's ready to give a statement."

"I'm coming." He muttered before glancing around the reception area of the station house looking for someone to help him out. His doe brown eyes landed on the slender brunette standing beside the front desk as she leaned over to rest a long black bag against the sturdy ceramic pillar alongside some white water weights. He didn't want to do this to her, this wasn't the way he had envisioned her meeting one of his kids but there was nobody else around at the moment and he knew Eva would be in safe hands.

"Maggie." he called out with a sigh, waving his hand to draw her attention. "Come over here?"

Maggie's head twisted towards Sergeant Platt, who gave her slight nod before she came to stand in the space next to Antonio and Eva. He had to admit she looked good in the pale blue uniform, he hadn't known her when she had been in patrol the first time but it suited her. Her glossy chestnut hair was pulled back into a tight bun, leaving loose tendrils framing her pretty features. Her vivid blue eyes shifted from him to Eva and then back to him once more as she took in the familial similarities.

"This is my very-much-in-trouble daughter, Eva." he told her, the anger still clearly displaying on his handsome features as he pointed at his child. "Can you take her into that office, watch her until I get Laura on the phone to come pick her up?"

He could see the indecision on her features and he didn't blame her. To say this was awkward was an understatement. He knew he had no right to put her in this position but he needed the help right now and Maggie could see that. He would not have asked if there had been any other solution to this problem.

"Yeah, of course." she said softly.

"Dad..." his daughter injected.

"Not another word, Eva." Antonio shushed her, his temper flaring up once more. "I mean it."

Maggie stepped into the space between them, her arm wrapping around Eva's shoulders as she gave Antonio a knowing look over the top of his daughter's head. It wasn't entirely sympathetic and Antonio chose to ignore it. Right now there were other things to focus on, one girl was in the hospital and another was still out there having God knows what being done to her.

Antonio cast a final glance over his shoulder, watching as Maggie guided his daughter into the office before returning to the bench to retrieve her backpack. For now he didn't have to worry about Eva, his daughter was in safe hands.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eva and Antonio have a heart to heart.

The station house was getting busier, Maggie could see the hustle and bustle of other officers outside through the open blinds inside of the small office that she and Eva sat in. The undercurrent of their voices was a pleasant sound, she liked being around people more and more these days, that anxiety she had felt a few days ago beginning to reside.

"You want to be out there and instead you're stuck in here with me." Eva said miserably, her dark eyes lowered. She looked a lot like Antonio, both of his children did. She'd noticed it upon observing the pictures upon his mantelpiece. She had wondered what the two of them would grow up to be. Cops like their dad or something else?

"Actually." Maggie said leaning forward across the table conspiratorially. "I'd rather be in here otherwise I would be walking around in the rain and I do not like getting wet."

"I don't like it either." Eva submitted into the conversation, her shoulders straightening. "Like when you get so wet that it feels like you'll never get warm again."

"That is the worst." Maggie agreed before resting her chin on her hand. "I think we picked the wrong city to live because Chicago winters are always wet and windy."

Eva shivered at the thought, her hands pressing together between her knees before speaking again, her gaze sweeping up to meet Maggie's gaze.

"I didn't mean to upset my dad so much." she said quietly into the space between them. "I just really miss him."

Maggie rubbed her hands together, trying to find a response that was appropriate for the situation. She didn't like being caught in the middle of whatever was going on between Antonio and Laura but Eva looked so sad at the minute. She understood why Antonio had torn a strip off his daughter, his children were his life and if something happened to them he would never forgive himself. However Eva was hurting deep inside and it was something that he would eventually need to address. She understood how frightening it could be to be caught between two parents, how much it could mess with your head. Maggie's own father hadn't been a saint, she had known about his affairs for years before he died.

"I think you just really scared him." Maggie explained to Eva, catching the young girl's gaze as she spoke. "He sees a lot of bad things happen in his job and he doesn't want anything like that to happen to you."

"I know..." Eva began, her full lower lip beginning to tremble. "I just wanted to see him. Mom keeps cancelling on him and it just makes me so mad. I heard mom telling Aunt Jeanie they don't love each other anymore and I just wanted to let him know that we still love him, that me and Diego still want to be part of his life."

That sentiment hit Maggie right in the chest, it made her heart ache to hear those words. She swallowed hard against the lump in her throat before coughing in order to clear it. These kids were going through the ringer at the moment and it broke her heart.

"He misses you guys so much." Maggie said, clasping her hands together upon the desk. "He's always telling us all, how proud he is of the both of you."

"He does?" Eva asked softly, her eyes shining once more.

"All the time." Maggie confirmed.

There was silence for a moment before a low grumble echoed through the room, making Maggie burst into a grin while Eva's cheeks flushed red, her small hand coming to rest upon her stomach.

"I am gonna take a wild guess and say you're hungry." Maggie teased the young girl, her eyes flickering to the clock on the wall. It was well past lunchtime, she could feel hunger pangs in her own stomach. Eva nodded shyly.

"You ever been to the deli down the street?" Maggie asked Eva, removing her cell phone from her pants pocket and opening the message app with her thumb. "My friend Kim says they do the best turkey subs."

"I like Turkey subs." Eva informed Maggie as she typed out a message to Burgess.

She watched from the opposite side of the glass as Kim put down some of the reports she was filing to check her cellphone. She turned to face the window and giving both Maggie and Eva a thumbs up.

* * *

Antonio was hovering, it was something that he rarely did but in this circumstance he couldn't help it. This conversation was one of the most difficult he would ever have to have in his adult life and he was struggling to find the fortitude for it. He gave himself a moment, his palms resting on the door frame as he watched two of the most important people in his life. Eva and Maggie were sitting side by side now, their backs to him, their heads bowed close together as they reviewed the same glossy magazine. They're turkey subs were half eaten, resting among the yellow paper they had been wrapped in as Eva jabbed her finger animatedly at one of the images. Maggie responded by nodding her head in agreement before picking up the plastic take out cup and sipping from the straw.

Seeing the two of them interact was interesting. he had always wondered how his children would react upon meeting Maggie. They had never been actually introduced, not the way Laura and her had been. He didn't want his kids anywhere near his job, especially after what had happened to Diego. His son still had nightmares, even more than a year on but he was resilient, he had bounced back incredibly well and the child therapist they had taken him to see had declared him healthy. Antonio couldn't count himself as lucky in that respect, he still dreamed of that horrific day, occasionally he would wake up in a cold sweat, his heart pounding because he had been too late to save his son and Diego's blood would be all over his hands. It was times like that, that he wished that Maggie had been there. He'd needed someone to talk to during those terrifying hours and she would have been his shelter away from the storm. She would have helped him get his head straight before he had resorted to wrapping a chain around his hand and beating the living shit out of their prisoner until he gave them the intel they required. None of that mattered though, he tried to convince himself. They had both done things that they weren't proud of. She was here now, looking after his daughter and he appreciated that more than he cared to admit.

"Hey." he said, making his presence known to the two females in that tiny office.

Eva's amber eyes darted away and she pursed her lips together as if to stop herself from speaking. Maggie's gaze flickered between the two of them before she cleared her throat and picked up the remainder of her Turkey sub before exiting the room.

Antonio sighed before stepping into the room entirely.

"I talked to your mother. She's on her way. She'll be here in half an hour." Antonio said before coming to sit in Maggie's vacated chair. He wanted to be at eye level with his daughter, to make her see the honesty in his eyes when he spoke to her. Eva clasped her hands together between her knees before speaking.

"Oh. Okay." She sounded disappointed and he got that. She'd come all the way here and he was sending her away again. He didn't want his children to feel abandoned or rejected, he wanted to make sure they knew exactly how much he loved him.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you. It's just you scared the hell out of me, honestly." he said, shaking his head before fixing his gaze weary gaze upon his daughter.

There were tears again in Eva's eyes and he hated that, hated that she was going through because of him and Laura. They had never meant for it to effect their children any more than it already had done but it was and they need to come up with a solution otherwise they would do more harm than good.

"But I wanted to see you." Eva said earnestly and it felt as if someone was stabbing dull knives into Antonio's heart over and over again. He considered his words carefully. He was not the type of man to condemn Laura in front of their children, he understood the misery that could cause.

"Look..." he trailed off trying to choose the right words before starting again. "Your ma and I, we're still figuring somethings out. She said you might've heard some things..."

"I don't know what to do..." she choked out.

It was at that moment Eva crumbled and it was everything Antonio could do not to wrap her in his arms and concede defeat. Salty tears ran down her cheeks as her shoulders quivered once more causing. Jesus it was like being punched in the gut. Antonio climbed onto his knees in front of his daughter, his hand resting gently upon hers.

"Hey, hey, hey." he murmured softly, drawing her attention back towards him. "You need to know something, Eva. I love you. I love you and your brother more than life itself."

It was true. When Diego had been abducted he would have torn the earth apart looking for his child. It hadn't mattered if he had lost his job, gone to prison or had been killed so long as his son was safe he hadn't cared and now looking at Eva, he would walk through fire if it meant that he could feel that smile grace his daughter's face again. Eva let out a shaky breath in an attempt to steady herself.

"I love you too, dad." she told him and he could see it in her eyes. This was hurting her as much as it hurt him and he wanted to spare his daughter that pain.

"You, Diego and me are a knot that'll never come undone. No matter what." he said tenderly, making sure that Eva could look into his eyes and see the truth of it shining there. "Yeah?"

Eva swallowed hard before nodding her agreement. Antonio wrapped his arms around her and held on tightly, his hand smoothing over her dark hair as she clutched onto him.

"That's my girl." he whispered. "That's my girl."


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Antonio comes home in the early hours of the morning to find Maggie still awake.

The sun was just starting to raise in the sky when Antonio finally stepped onto the porch of his small, terraced house. He pulled the knot of his tie away from his Adam's apple before loosening the top two buttons of his white shirt with his fingertips. It felt like he could breathe again for the first time tonight. There were no words to describe how much he disliked the man he worked for. Asher was arrogant and he had more money than sense. Everything was a possession to him, even Antonio and he hated it, he hated every single second of being in that environment with all the 'yes sirs' and 'no sirs'. It took him back to that time when he was fourteen running dime bags for that guy that had lived above the gym he trained at.

His broad shoulders slumped in wariness as he pushed his key into the lock and twisted it in order to open his front door. He could hear the low murmur of voices, it took him a second to realise that the TV was on. His gaze came to rest on the lone figure sitting upon the couch. Maggie's hair loose around her shoulders, her socked feet resting on the coffee table. She was wearing a black tank top and grey sweats from her days at the academy. The white socks were his.

"Maggie?" he questioned, his tone low and soft. "It's four in the morning."

His hands were already removing the tie from his collar, tossing it to one side. He moved around to the comfortable chair before shrugging off his black suit jacket and folding it over the back of it. His dark eyes already taking in the papers that were spread out over the coffee table.

"I couldn't sleep." she said before nodding at the paperwork at the table as she removed her feet from it. "I wanted to check everything was in order for me moving in at the weekend."

"Nightmares?" he asked quietly, dropping down onto the couch alongside of her, his hip nudged hers lightly. Maggie pressed her hands together between her knees before nodding reluctantly.

"Too many to talk about." she dismissed, looking distantly at the thin sheets of paper spread out all over the battered coffee.

Antonio's heart went out to her, he knew what it was like to wake up in the middle of the night, your heart hammering in your chest because you didn't have a clue where you were or what was happening. He knew what it was like to deal with that alone, it was a burden that no one should carry, not by themselves. He was holding himself back, he had been since the moment she had left the operation but he felt that time had passed now. She needed to know that she didn't have to sleep alone, that he cared about her more than anyone else in the world.

"Maggie." he whispered her name as his warm fingertips brushed her chin guiding her pale face until the two of them were looking at each other, mere inches separating them. The material of their clothing brushed lightly, making a rustling sound as Antonio's warm hands encompassed Maggie's dainty features. His calloused thumbs skated across the apples of her cheeks as he pressed his finely sculptured lips to hers.

The moment they touched Antonio was lost. The two of them had been fighting against their feelings for so long, it felt as if the dam was breaking. He felt Maggie surrendering under his hands, her body pressing against him with the same urgency that he possessed. His tongue delved into her hot, seeking mouth, his fingers raking through her loose chestnut hair, dragging her down even deeper under his spell.

Kissing her was like seeing sunshine for the first time after years of being blind. Antonio needed her in every way possible. Long ago the depth of his feelings had terrified him but now he relished them. He had fallen so recklessly in love with her it drove everything else right out of his mind.

Maggie climbed onto his lap, seeking out even more of him. Her thighs came to rest on either side of his hips, giving him access to her in a way he had never experienced before. His heated fingertips trailed along the curve of her spine causing her to moan, her pelvis tipping forward. He hissed through his teeth at the sensuous friction as she ground against his erection through their clothes. His hands were in her chestnut hair once more, guiding her swollen lips back to his. Her teeth grazed his lower lip causing a thrill of exhilaration rushing through him. She was intoxicating, he wanted to touch every inch of her, to make her cry out his name in euphoria. There was a possessiveness in him that reserved only for her, he wanted to claim her as his own. It was a primal urge, one that was deep and savage.

His hands ghosted up along her sides, his palms peeling up the hem of that black tank to inch by inch until they broke apart for a moment. Maggie's pretty blue eyes were focused entirely on his as she raise her arms for him to strip her of the offending item. Her skin was all peaches and cream, clad in simple black bra. He could see those scars of hers, especially the white thin line that decorated the space just under her collarbone. He had caught glimpses of it over the years but he had never seen it in all of its glory. He pressed his lips to the space just above her cleavage, where the scar started, his tongue flicked over the ridged flesh causing Maggie to cry out, her head tipping back as her fingers raked through his dark hair. That sound nearly tipped him right over there and then. His hands slid down to her heart shaped ass, grasping it tightly to keep her pressed against him as he rose to his feet and carried her to his bedroom.

He lay her down delicately on the cream sheets and covered her with his body, kissing her until she lay submissive and gasping beneath him. Her cobalt eyes were filled with desire as he stripped off his white shirt, allowing it to flutter to the floor. Maggie smiled wickedly as she slowly wriggled her way out of those light grey sweat pants, revealing a simple pair of black panties.

For the first time he drank in the view before him, this Irish American goddess was laid out, her chestnut hair falling over her shoulders. His control was threadbare as her fingertips trailed down between her breasts before delving even lower. This was where she belonged, right here in his bed.

"Maggie..." he murmured, the left side of his mouth tilting up into that contented smile of his. "You are such a tease."

She was perfect in his eyes, everything from that white jagged scar just under her collarbone to the Celtic cross tattooed on her left ankle. His thumb skimmed across it lightly as he climbed onto the bed between her parted legs. His lips descended on hers, his tongue delving into the hot confines of her mouth as her gentle fingertips traced along the plains of his chest running over each of those ragged bullet holes with the utmost care. It made him feel revered. He wore his badges of honour on his flesh, the same way she did hers. There was a sense of belonging here with Maggie that he hadn't believed was possible. A gluttonous groan tore from his throat as her delicate hands delved lower, her deft fingers were already unzipping his trousers before he helped her to remove them and his underwear completely.

Her cobalt blue eyes glittered with desire as she took in his powerful athletic form. Her eyes were drinking him in as she unhooked her black bra and shucked out of her panties. The feel of her slick, molten skin against his addictive. He was lose in her touch once more as her glorious hands smoothed over his needy cock, her thumb lightly rubbing over the tip leaving him gasping as he hovered over her.

"Maggie." he warned through grinding teeth as the palm of her hand stroked over him in a slow, deliberate motion.

She released him and instantly Antonio felt himself craving her touch once more. Her hand delved under the pillow before she removed a thin foil packet. He raised his eyebrows questioningly as she tore it open, removing the condom from the wrapper.

"I was hopeful." she explained, reaching down between the two of them.

The instant she touched him it was like every single one of his synapses were on fire. He held the base of his dick as she rolled it down the shaft, making him arch into her grasp. She let go of him unwillingly, her hands running through his thick dark hair drawing his demanding lips back to hers.

Antonio's mouth smothered Maggie's as he penetrated her with antagonizing slowness. Her hips arched into his thrust burying Antonio's cock even deeper into her supple, inviting body.

Connecting had never been such a sweet experience for Antonio, he found himself drowning in the serenity of the moment as they began to consummate the most basic of acts. They merged together, tongues mingling, hands fumbling and touching every single inch of each other as they rocked in unison. Maggie's moans were getting louder, her nails raking down his back, urging him on as they began to pick up the pace. They were close, his nerves were blazing with the ecstasy as he drove her further into that gratifying oblivion.

His name was on her lips as she started to climax, her head tipping back, exposing her throat as she cried out in ecstasy. His mouth descended on the curve of her throat, biting down as his own orgasm claimed him. He could feel her heart beating against his own as he lowered his mouth to hers, their kisses becoming lazy and sanguine as they lay tangled up in one another.

"I have no idea how we lasted so long without doing that." Maggie murmured against the corner of his mouth. Antonio placed a kiss on her collarbone before removing himself from her body and disposing of the condom. He propped his head up on his right hand as he reached out and used his left to tuck a stray strand back behind her ear.

"Idiocy." he confessed distractedly as he allowed his fingertips to trail along the outline of her shoulder, tracing a fine line along her torso. "I've lost track of the amount of times I've wanted to kiss you since you walked back into my life."

Maggie shifted allowing Antonio to settle down beside her on his back before he gathered her up in his arms and drew her to him. She fit snugly into his side, her legs entwining with his amongst the mess of sheets that barely covered their hips. Her mused up, chestnut brown hair, tickled his neck as her head came to rest upon his shoulder, his fingers stroking through it absent-mindedly as he pressed a kiss to her hairline. Maggie's fingertips came to rest upon the space where his heart was beating safely underneath the plains of his chest.

This was where she was meant to be, right here with him.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after...

Antonio groaned out loud into his pillow, burying his face into the sweet floral scent that clung to it from last night's activities. He was lying on his stomach, the cream sheets pooling around his naked hips. He stretched out, his athletic body aching in all of the right places and he felt himself stirring once again at the memory of Maggie's beauteous form keening underneath him, her nails raking along his skin as he drove her to completion.

Jesus she was intoxicating. The thought of being inside of her again and hearing those deviant, sexy noises she made had him hard as a rock. Making love had never felt like that before for him. To belong to someone in all entirely, it blew his mind. With Maggie there was a sense of completion, like everything that they had been building up to was finally happening and he had no idea before last night how wonderful that could feel.

"You are unbelievable." he rumbled, his hand creeping across the bed towards Maggie's sleeping form. Instead he found himself grasping cool sheets. His dark eyes flickered open coming to rest on that empty space beside him.

Shit.

Maggie was gone and that knowledge was like a slap in the face to Antonio as he lay there staring at the offending space beside him. He rolled onto his back, his large hands rubbing over his handsome features, trying to shake away the cobwebs from his exhausted mind. He had thought she was ready for this, that she was ready for them but it was clear she wasn't. He had pushed far too hard, too soon. Antonio growled in frustration. How the hell had he managed to fuck up the one thing he wanted more than anything else in the world?

"You can't be that frustrated already?" Maggie's voice teased from the opposite side of the room. Antonio propped himself up on his elbows, his gaze straying to the open door of the bedroom.

She stood there, wearing nothing but his olive green t-shirt from the top of his clean laundry pile. Her skin was still dewy from the shower she must have taken. There was a towel in her hand that she was using to dry her hair with as she watched him with mischievous cornflower blue eyes. Antonio's cock twitched at the sight before him, a grin pulling at his own lips as he spoke.

"I thought you'd had second thoughts." he admitted, watching as Maggie dropped the towel into the laundry hamper and purposely strode towards him. She climbed onto the bed on all fours, her bright eyes smouldering as she crawled up along the length of his naked body, the fabric of his shirt lightly ghosting up along his torso and chest.

"Any regrets?" she asked him, her eyes studying his intently looking for any seeds of doubt. Antonio reached up, his right hand cupping her cheek, his thumb caressing the shape of her cheekbone as he guided her sensuous pink lips within millimetres of his own as he spoke.

"Not a single one." he murmured, before tenderly kissing that delectable mouth of hers.

He wanted to take his time with her, to explore, tease and taste all the contours of her slender form. His tongue traced the shape of her lips before he dipped inside her mouth seeking out that lovable unique taste. Her nipples were already hardening through the delightfully soft material, Antonio could feel them rubbing against his chest making him moan in delirium as he guided Maggie's supple form until she lay flat on her back underneath him. Antonio's hands were smoothing up and down Maggie's lithe thighs, his fingertips were slipping under the fabric of his shirt. Maggie's nails raked down his back igniting his nerves with fiery pleasure as his hands gripped her ass shifting her into the position he wanted her in.

The shrill chime of his phone pierced the air loudly. Antonio swore loudly, grimacing as he rolled off of Maggie and searched blindly for the trousers he had been wearing last night. He rolled onto his side as he answered, his back to Maggie so that he didn't have to see her expression of disappointment. In the past Laura would have simply got up and walked away but Maggie was different. He could feel her soft lips, kissing the curve of his shoulder blade, her thumb stroking over the line of his ribs as he listened to the message from dispatch. It was reassuring in a way he didn't think was possible. It was her way of saying that she understood and she wasn't pissed their time together had been interrupted.

"You have to go." she stated knowingly as he hung up the phone and rolled onto his back once more so that he could meet her curious gaze.

There was a guilt in those eyes of his, one that that Maggie herself could associate with. She'd lost count of the times her own phone had interrupted her life. She studied his handsome features and realised she was seeing the echoes of his past relationship. His apologetic eyes were a force of habit that was so deeply ingrained into him he didn't know that there wasn't anything to be sorry for.

"Go jump in the shower." she said, pressing a soft kiss to the edge of his mouth. "I'll have the coffee ready for when you get out."


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A case takes Antonio away from his responsibilities, leaving Maggie to deal with the fall out.

Antonio Dawson: Sorry I missed you last night. I was hoping we could pick up where we left off yesterday morning.

Maggie O'Neill: I would have loved that, I was thinking about all those wicked things we did all night.

Antonio Dawson: You should tell me about them when I get home later, I want a detailed description.

Maggie O'Neill: I suppose I could show you...

Maggie O'Neill: Picture message attached.

Antonio Dawson: Your killing me right now.

* * *

Trudy Platt: Did you just let out that little prick Grant?

Hank Voight: Well hello to you too Trudy.

Trudy Platt: He killed a 10 year old girl! Her mother's in here crying because she's just seen him walk out the door!

Hank Voight: Trust me we're working on it.

* * *

Al Olinsky: I managed to get hold of that prison guard uniform. It's the right size so should fit you everywhere.

Antonio Dawson: I appreciate it. I'll change in the locker room once I've checked out these electronics.

* * *

Hank Voight: How's the history on Ruzek and Atwater coming?

Erin Lindsey: Just adding the finishing touches right now and then they'll be in the system.

Hank Voight: Let me know when it's done.

* * *

Kim Burgess: Kids are all taken care of. Homework was done last night and got them into school on time this morning. I'll pick them up after school.

Kevin Atwater: Thanks Kim. I owe you one.

Kim Burgess: Just stay safe today x

* * *

Laura Dawson: Antonio, I need you to take Diego tonight. I'm meeting with the accountant tonight to go through the restaurant accounts. I should be back after 9pm. Eva is sleeping over at Chelsea's so you don't have to worry about her.

* * *

Diego Dawson: Can't wait to come over and see my new room. Catch you later Dad !—-

Maggie O'Neill: Hey Antonio, good luck today! Burgess just filled me in. Stay safe x

* * *

Kayla Sharpe: Hey, I just wanted to check in and see how the studying is going for that training officer position x

Sean Roman: Horribly. It's so boring I think I am starting to lose my sanity.

Kayla Sharpe: Study break? You, me and not a text book in sight...

Sean Roman: This sounds interesting. Let me know when you get off shift and I'll pick you up.

Kayla Sharpe: I'll try not to keep you up all night ;)

* * *

Maggie O'Neill: Did you forget to tell me Diego was coming over? Laura's just dropped him off outside the house.

* * *

Maggie O'Neill: Kim, I need help. Laura's just dropped Diego off and I have no idea what to do with him.

Kim Burgess: Bring him over to Kevin's, dinner's on the stove and we have an Xbox. He can hang out with these guys and you can help me, 'help them' with homework.

Maggie O'Neill: Your a lifesaver!

* * *

Maggie O'Neill: Hi Antonio. Got it covered. Don't worry x


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie has to drop off Diego, which puts her face to face with Laura.

Antonio's previous home was a brownstone house in one of the nicer parts of town. There was a small patch of garden at the front that had seen better days but otherwise it looked the same as it had when she had been here years before. Maggie could feel her heart thudding against her ribs as she undid her seat belt and waited patiently for Diego to undo his own. The resemblance he had to his father was startling. Those dark eyes and the thick hair, that fell into his eyes...

He had been courteous and polite at Atwater's place, helping Vanessa, Kevin's younger sister with her geometry homework. There had been a few times when he had startled easy due to loud noises in the neighbourhood but Maggie knew to be wary of that. What had happened to him over a year ago, was still ingrained in his psyche. She hadn't made a big deal about it, just placed her hand on his small shoulder reassuringly until he had relaxed. He knew what Kim and herself did for a living and he knew there wasn't a chance in hell that they would let anything happen to him or any of the other kids.

The light was on in the porch and for a moment Maggie really did toy with the idea of letting Diego step outside of the car while she watched him walk up to the house alone. She didn't know if she had the mental fortitude to face Laura. Until the divorce paperwork came back, she was technically sleeping with this woman's husband. Things weren't as black and white as Maggie would have liked it. She'd spent most of her life attempting to dispel any possibility of being deemed the 'other woman' however it did appear that she shared some common ground with her father and she hated it. At least she faced up to the consequences, her father just let the barn burn around him and be damned what anyone else thought.

"Come on kid." Maggie prompted Diego gently, opening her car door and stepping out into the street. She walked around the front of the black SUV and opened Diego's door. He slung his red backpack over his right shoulder as Maggie closed it behind him. She tread up the path alongside Diego, taking each step with apprehension. The dread was growing with every step that Maggie took. She could already see Laura's familiar shape in the glass before the door opened, letting out a ray of light onto the porch.

"Hello Maggie." Laura greeted her, the expression on her face stoic as she reviewed the other woman wearily. Maggie's chestnut hair was pulled back into a messy bun, a battered leather jacket hung over her grey Rolling Stones shirt.

Diego smiled sweetly at his mother, bidding Maggie goodnight before disappearing into the house and leaving the two women standing on the porch.

"Hi Laura." Maggie returned politely, her dainty hands clasped in front of her as she nodded her head in greeting.

"Antonio mentioned you were back when I picked up Eva the other day." Laura said arching an eyebrow as she scanned Maggie from head to toe, taking in ever aspect of the other woman's presence. "I didn't think I'd be seeing you any time soon, never-less bringing our son back home."

Maggie pursed her lips together as she considered her next steps. Laura had every right to be angry but Maggie couldn't read anger in her features. In fact she thought the other woman looked tired or rather worn out. It couldn't be easy running a restaurant and being a single parent. She had needed help today and Antonio hadn't been there to give it.

"I don't think Antonio's been getting our texts." Maggie explained, gesturing between the two of them. "He's on a case and I guess you have been busy since you didn't pick up the phone either."

Laura sighed putting her hand to her forehead and massaging her temples with her thumb and middle finger. She was under a lot of stress, Maggie didn't have to be a genius to see it. The pressure was weighing down on the other woman, crushing her. Maggie knew a thing or two about that weight bear down on you.

"I've been doing the accounts for the restaurant." Laura responded wearily. "They're a bit of a mess. I feel like I've barely got anything done since I dropped Diego off."

There was a moment of silence between the two of them. Laura ducked her head, clamping her lips together before exhaling deeply through her nose.

"I wasn't meant to tell you that." she said finally, shaking her head with a wry chuckle. "There's something about you that makes me want to spill my guts."

"It's my super power." Maggie said simply, with a shrug of her shoulders. "Look Laura, I don't know what Antonio told you about what I've been doing undercover but accounts were my bread and butter." Maggie paused and reconsidered her words. "What I am trying to say is I can take a look at yours if you want, see if we can sort them out?"

They stared at each other for a moment, the ex-wife and the other woman. In a normal circumstance they could have been friends, hell as Laura considered the offer she thought that that still maybe a possibility. Her marriage had been failing for a long time and as easy as it was to blame Maggie, it wouldn't be the truth. They had been struggling for a long time before she had come along and they'd fought even harder once the other woman had left Antonio's life. Her absence had impacted him in a way that frightened Laura. She had offered him a way out, asked him to move to Crystal Lake and leave the job. She knew he would say no, their bags had already packed before she had issued him the ultimatum, he had just given her that final nudge.

"Why don't you come in?" Laura said finally making her decision. She opened the door even wider to allow the other woman access. "I've just put on a pot of coffee."


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie comes home to Antonio...

It was after midnight when Maggie let herself into Antonio's small terraced house. The lights were off throughout the building but she knew he was here, his shiny black car was parked on the street out front. Her eyes were red rimmed and stinging from staring at so many pieces of paper for so long. Laura had been right when she said the accounts were a mess, however the two of them had managed to put them into some sort of working order. She hadn't meant to stay so late but Maggie wasn't the type of person to leave a job half finished.

Maggie crept quietly up the stairs before letting herself into Antonio's bedroom. She closed the door behind her, toeing off her black pixie boots before shimmying out of her jeans and removing her jacket and bra. She paused for a moment allowing her eyes to adjust to the darkness as she reviewed Antonio's sleeping form, a small smile tugging at her pretty features. Through the thin sliver of moonlight cascading through the curtain she caught sight of her impressive man lying on his back, his right arm flung over his head, those sexy roman numerals etched onto his tricep. His face was buried into her pillow, his dark hair loose and tousled over his handsome features. Already dark stubble was beginning to line his jaw and she guessed that he hadn't gotten time to shave in the past couple of days. She liked seeing this side of him, he was usually so clean cut but here his guard was down and she felt like she was seeing the real Antonio Dawson. The one that he kept hidden away from the rest of the world.

A mischievous grin tugged at her lips before she climbed into bed alongside of him, her lithe form slipping underneath the sheets with a stealth she reserved only for her work. She was surprised to find he was gloriously naked. Her heated fingertips skated down from the centre of his chest, tracing around those faded bullet scars that were riveted into his tanned flesh. Her sensuous lips followed suit, her hot tongue flicking over the puckered indents causing Antonio to moan out loud as he drifted into consciousness. He was beginning to stir now, his cock hardening in response to her ministrations, his legs shifted allowing her better access.

Maggie placed her dainty hand on his muscular thigh, using the slightest pressure to rake her nails up along the inside of it. Antonio arched, his fingers tangling in her hair as she placed delirious kisses along the line of his treasure trail. She swiped her tongue across the silky tip of his cock causing Antonio to curse at the gentle tease.

"Maggie." he growled as she licked her way from the base of his throbbing erection to the tip and back down again. "You're driving me crazy."

"Hm." she responded before her pert pink lips encircled his cock suddenly. Her tongue swirled around the tip before she drove her wet, needy mouth down the length of his cock.

Antonio cried out, his left hand gripping the sheets in a white knuckled fist as Maggie sucked at his erection taking it even deeper than before. Antonio was in a state of unbridled ecstasy, watching his cock disappear between this sensual goddess's lips was almost enough to push him over the edge. Christ, she was a deviant. There was something about seeing his Maggie so confident and demanding that turned him on even more than the fact she was blowing him.

He could feel his muscles beginning to tense as Maggie lavished him with languid strokes of that talented tongue of hers. His lower back was beginning to tingle with the excitement of that impending orgasm. He was close, so damned close it was all he could do but grind his teeth to try and stave it off. He bucked against her mouth, his grip on her hair tightening as he said her name, a hint of warning in his tone.

Maggie ignored him, instead she took him deeper, her tongue flicking across the tip of his cock at just the right time throwing him right over the edge. The moment he climaxed was insane. The groan from Antonio's mouth was almost feral as he was dragged under in crescendo of pleasure. Maggie licked, sucked and teased every inch of him until he lay there spent underneath her. His heart was thudding like a jackhammer in his chest, as she took her rightful place beside him, grinning like a Cheshire cat. Antonio wrapped his strong arms around her, his grizzled cheek coming to rest on top of her head as her lithe legs tangled with his own. She snuggled even closer, their bodies pressing against each other as that familiar sense of unity flooded Antonio's system.

"You're gonna be the death of me." He chuckled against her hairline.

"It wouldn't be a bad way to go." she returned, a drowsy lilt to her voice as her palm came to rest upon the space where his heart resided.

There was no way Antonio could deny the truth in those words of hers. He listened to the soothing sound of her steady breathing, her body unfurling as she began to slip away into what he hoped would be a sweet, dreamless sleep.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kim and Maggie discuss the past.

The squad car smelled like fries despite the fact that both Maggie and Kim had rolled down the windows to vent the powerful smell of fast food. It smelt delicious now but it would be a nightmare in a couple of hours' time. Kim was sitting in the driver's seat, her seat belt undone, her back to the driver's side door, her body angled towards Maggie as she set her plastic container of diet coke upon the steering column. Her brown take out bag was resting on her lap, the bottom pockmarked with grease from her burger and fries.

Maggie had tipped her fries into the bottom of her own take out bag, removing them one at a time before dunking them into the open ketchup pot she'd placed upon the dashboard. They ate in a companionable silence before Kim slurped through her straw and cleared her throat.

"Am I your first female partner?" She asked suddenly, her dark eyebrows arching as she asked her question. Maggie shook her head, waiting a couple of moments to chew her food before speaking.

"Nope." she responded before selecting another French fry and popping the crisp fluffy treat into her mouth. It took a second for her to process what would have led Kim to ask that question, she wondered if she acted differently to Kim's other partners. Was her behaviour odd?

Sometimes Kim had to explain a few things to her with regards to the forms and processes but she was a good cop, at least she thought she was. Kim caught sight of her worried expression before shaking her head.

"No!" she said, holding her finger up to curb Maggie's trail of thought. "I just meant that you're my first female partner."

"Oh." Maggie said, nodding her acknowledgement before returning her attention to her French fries.

"I just mean all my partners have been male." Kim explained before counting them off in her hand. "I've had Atwater, The Sleeper, The Christian and then Roman."

"Then me." Maggie added, a small smile crossing her lips.

"Yea." Kim said returning Maggie's grin. "Then you."

The truth was Kim had never had a partner quite like Maggie. The other woman was a keen and conscious person who resolved their differences with compromise and care. The two of them had worked well together during the past month and she liked spending time with the sassy brunette, she had the right amount of snark and humour to get through the job and still make it entertaining. There were lapses, what Maggie had in undercover experience, she lacked in terms of knowledge when it came to community policing but she was learning and Kim thought she was a good teacher. The two of them had a lot of fun together and she knew that the other woman had her back in a pinch.

Adam hadn't been wrong when he'd told her about Maggie's skill set, she had a keen sense of perception. Her eyes were always taking in her surroundings, her body language reminding anyone in the vicinity that she was always prepared.

"Tell me about your last female partner." Kim said with an eager grin, unwrapping her burger from the grease proof paper. "Was she cool and badass?"

Maggie covered her mouth with her hand as she shook her head so that Kim couldn't see her talking with food in her mouth. She got that Kim was interested in life as a detective, the pretty patrol cop should have aspirations. She thought with the right opportunities that Burgess would go places. Her fellow patrolman always seemed to see the good in people and it was an admirable quality, however people would take advantage of that if she gave them the chance. Burgess deserved a lot better than that.

"God no, she was a pain in the ass." Maggie revealed, dropping the ketchup pot into her empty bag and screwing it up into a ball. "She was alarmingly competitive."

"Like grabbing the credit for the collar competitive?" Kim asked with interest, using her forefinger to wipe a stray droplet of ketchup from the corner of her mouth.

"Among other things." Maggie said evasively, placing the takeout bag on top of the dashboard and altering her trajectory so that she was facing Kim. "The worst part was I didn't even realise we were in competition."

Kim's expression changed to one of severe disapproval, her eyebrows furrowing into a frown as she reached for her napkin and swiped at her lips.

"It shouldn't be like that. It should be about working the best way you can to help the community." Kim said finally before taking an aggressive bite of her burger.

"That's the way I think too, sometimes it is all about ego though. You get it a lot when you're a detective, sometimes the guys don't like you and the girls want to outrank you." Maggie informed the other woman, tucking her leg underneath her as her back came to rest against the car door. "It's hard not to get caught up in that mentality if you don't have a good team behind you."

"Was that in Narcotics or Vice?" Kim asked, reaching for her takeout cup and sipping through the straw.

"Narcotics was all about who got the biggest street value." Maggie told her simply. "In Vice, it took a while for them to see me as someone who played a really good hooker. When they realised I had a degree in accounting, it turned out they could utilize me as more than just a hooker. That's how I ended up with Antonio. He had the connections to introduce me to a few dealers who needed their money laundered and from there a partnership was born."

"Oh yea it was." Kim teased, her spine straightening as she crushed her own paper bag between her hands. "You seem a lot happier lately, you come into work smiling."

Maggie laughed, before ducking her head to hide the pink flush that crept across her pale cheeks. It had only been a couple of weeks since the two of them had become a couple but Maggie was happier than she had been in years. There was something so freeing about being with Antonio. There was a lot of laughter in her life these days and a lot more passion. Damn that man was insatiable. He'd been right when he had told her once would never be enough for the two of them and he had proved it to her in a phenomenal amount of ways since they had crossed that boundary.

"I'm glad you're happy." Kim told her friend before holding out her fist. "And I'm glad you're my partner."

Maggie bumped her knuckles against Burgess's with a smirk as she spoke.

"I'm glad too."


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie and Erin discuss the decision she has to make.

Molly's was busy tonight but Maggie enjoyed the buzzing atmosphere around her as she fought her way through the crush of bodies, two glasses in her dainty hands as she battled her way to the table she shared with Erin at the back. It was great to see that the little bar was popular and despite the fact they were working themselves silly, she could tell that Gabby, Hermann and Otis were enjoying the change of pace. She wondered how their shifts factored in with their busy working schedules and home lives.

Erin was seated on the bar stool Maggie had left her perched upon, her denim clad legs crossed over each other demurely as she tapped out a text on her cellphone. Maggie slipped back onto her own comfortable bar stool before placing the drinks upon the table and pushing the Tequila Sunrise towards Erin with her fingertips. The other woman placed her sleek black phone upon the table before surveying the crowd around them with mild interest.

"I'm guessing the two for one on cocktails is working." Maggie said before taking a sip from her mojito.

"I think it worked a little too well." Erin said darkly, casting her gaze to the bar where Jay Halstead was leaning, his elbow resting upon it talking to a tall curvaceous blond who had just a little too much on show for Maggie's taste.

It was no secret that both Erin and Jay had feelings for one another, you could sense the chemistry a mile away. Simply watching their interactions made Maggie question why the two of them didn't just cross that boundary, in a job like theirs things could change in an instant. Antonio had told her that it was because of Voight but Maggie thought she could sense a weariness in Erin, one that wasn't quite in the right place to commit just yet.

Jay's baby blue eyes came to rest on the two of them not so subtly watching him before raising a glass in their direction. The two of them returned the gesture in unison before turning their attention back to one another.

"Can I ask you something?" Erin asked cautiously, watching a droplet of condensation trail down the shape of her tumbler.

"Anything." Maggie told the other woman, sipping her mojito and relishing the crisp taste.

"What do you know about James Seger?" Erin asked Maggie, a cautious interest in her voice. "Is he on the level?"

Maggie paused for a moment, her eyes narrowing in suspicion as the cogs in her head began to turn. It was interesting that Erin was asking about him and Maggie thought there was more to it than the other woman was letting on.

"He's always been straight with me." Maggie informed Erin with the shrug of her shoulders. "He's firm and fair. He worked a few of my cases, they ended up with solid convictions. Al would probably know more."

Erin pursed her lips together, nodding her head knowingly before she slipped a piece of card out of her denim jeans and sliding it across the table towards Maggie with a fingertip. She knew that Maggie had a question burning and she trusted the other woman enough to answer it.

"He wants me to lead a task force for the Feds." Erin murmured, her voice dropping an octave so they wouldn't be overheard in the crowd.

"Wow." Maggie uttered.

In a way she wasn't surprised that Erin had been offered something of that magnitude. She was a great cop and she had come a long way since those wild days of hers. Maggie didn't know how bad they were but from some of the stories that Erin had told her on and off over the past few weeks she could tell the other woman had been a hell raiser. It also meant that this was a huge deal for Erin, she had worked her ass off to get here and now she was being offered a massive opportunity.

"A taskforce is big deal." Maggie said, leaning forward, her elbows resting upon the table. "Like amazing big."

"I know that." Erin said, combing her fingers through her shoulder length hair. "And I know that other people would be jumping at the opportunity."

Erin's gaze lowered to her drink, her fingertips toying with the straw as she used it to stir the ice cubes so that they clinked against one another loudly. Maggie could see the indecision flickering in her eyes before she popped the cherry from the cocktail stick between her teeth.

"But you're not." Maggie prompted lightly, clasping her hands together upon the surface of the table.

"It would be a good way to get in front of some of the stuff we've been seeing on the streets lately." Erin said before weighing up the options. "However here is home and Intelligence is what I know."

It was a tough decision, Maggie knew that. She had been in a similar position herself two years ago when they had offered her the Bemberak operation. At the time there had been more push factors than pull, she'd had her own reasons for walking out of her own life but they hadn't been the only things that had caused her to leave.

"Sometimes..." Maggie started before hesitating for a moment. The next few words out of her mouth could make a difference for Erin, she just hoped the other woman did the right thing for her. "Sometimes you have to do what's best for you. You have to figure out what you really want."

Maggie paused before continuing, she rubbed her thumbs over the joints before making the decision to disclose something that she had never told anybody before.

"Part of the reason I got involved with the Bemberak operation was because I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it." Maggie confessed, biting her lower lip as she thought about that decision. Her life had changed in ways that even she couldn't have predicted. "It wasn't the best choice I could have made but it got me here and I can't complain about that."

Erin twisted her head, her gaze coming to linger on Jay who was still perched at the bar, deep in conversation with Atwater instead of the blond that had been floating around before.

"What about the people you leave behind?" Erin asked Maggie, her voice full of a tenderness that Maggie had never heard from her before.

Maggie steepled her fingers for a moment before pondering the answer to that question. She thought about her brother and about Antonio. What they had to have gone through in the years she had been away.

"The people worth their salt end up sticking around." Maggie confided to the other woman before casting a glance at Jay. "Anyway doesn't Voight have that rule about no office romances in Intelligence? It may make things possible for the two of you."

"I hadn't thought about that." Erin murmured, taking a sip from her Tequila Sunrise before asking Maggie another question that she had always been curious about. "Would you take it all back if you had to?"

Maggie shook her head, her pert pink lips curving into a small smile.

"When I think about how far I've come and what my life is like now. I wouldn't change it for the world." Maggie told her with a knowing look before Erin drained her glass and rose to her feet.

"I think I've made my decision."


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Layla causes trouble for Antonio and Maggie.

The Langham's hotel bar was one of the most expensive places Antonio had ever found himself seated in. The stools were the white hard plastic signs that molded around the shape of your butt. They were not in the least bit comfortable, he didn't understand how people could stand to sit on one of these things for a couple of hours at a time. The shiny black bar was glistening so much that Antonio was frightened to touch it in case he left a dirty finger print on its reflective surface. He dreaded to think how much a room here cost of the drinks were anything to go by.

Antonio rubbed the space between his dark eyes fighting against the gnawing pain that was biting in the center of his forehead. He was overtired and overworked, the mental and physical exhaustion was beginning to get to him, right now he would rather be at home with Maggie curled up next to him. He wanted to be in bed, his mouth running all over that creamy white skin of hers so that she moaned out loud under his rampant tongue. Antonio adjusted himself slightly to prevent discomfort at that thought before he removed his phone from the front pocket of his trousers and reviewed the message on his display.

_Maggie O'Neill: Missed you tonight at Molly's. I'll catch up with you tomorrow if you are still on for lunch. x_

_Antonio Dawson: Wouldn't miss it for the world. Let me know when you get home safe! x_

_Maggie O'Neill: Apparently I'm bringing this crazy one back to my apartment with me._

_Maggie O'Neill: Picture message attached._

_Antonio Dawson: So long as Kayla sticks to her side of the bed ;)_

_Maggie O'Neill: Get your head out of the gutter. You know I have a thing for dark, handsome Dominican men and she is vastly under qualified in that department._

_Antonio Dawson: A guy can dream..._

_Maggie O'Neill: Maybe you can tell me about it when you stay over next time._

_Antonio Dawson: You are so dirty._

_Maggie O'Neill: And I was such a nice girl before I met you. x_

It was the movement that alerted Antonio to Layla's presence, that and the rustle of thin satin against bare skin. Layla liked to wear satin, the dress she was wearing tonight was black, hand crafted especially for her. He could tell from the way it hugged every single one of her defined curves. Antonio much preferred lace, especially the black kind that Maggie wore. Layla was a woman who was used to being looked at. Antonio had clicked onto that the second she had stepped into the room with that flowing glossy hair and perfectly made up face. She enjoyed the attention, he could see it in the way she came alive when she knew she was being watched.

That smoky perfume of hers flooded his nostrils, making his nose itch. He wrinkled it for a moment trying to shake the tickling. Layla always wore too much perfume, it was an expensive brand just like everything else she owed. She lowered herself onto the stool next to him, those long legs of hers crossing over one another in a motion that was supposed to be alluring. Antonio found her attempts to seduce him irritating but it did show him more of her character, she was manipulative and she thought that she could manipulate him. Her pearl white teeth bit that bright red lower lip of hers, sucking it into her mouth as she reviewed him with wide sultry eyes. Her long lashes fluttered as she reviewed him knowingly.

"Can I help you with something Mrs Rosalyn?" Antonio questioned, his tone cold and professional. She liked pushing buttons but she didn't realise that he simply didn't have any to push. He was happy with his life right now, happier than he had ever been. Laura and him had agreed to joint custody of the children, the paperwork had been signed and was being processed by their lawyers. Maggie and him were solid despite the fact she'd moved into her own place. He could quit working this job soon and go back to just being a cop. That was the dream anyway.

"Yes." Layla said, her motions predatory as she leaned forward and placed her warm palm on his knee. Antonio clenched his jaw, his teeth grinding against one another as his eyes narrowed. "I think we should go upstairs and then I can show you what I need help with."

Layla's fingertip trailed upwards, gliding up along his thigh. Her thumb was trailing up the inner seam before she squeezed it lightly making her intentions abundantly clear. Antonio reached down, grasping her hand tightly in his own to stop her seeking fingers from exploring higher. He made sure he met her confused gaze with his own stoic stare before speaking.

"Not interested." he said bluntly, releasing her hand.

Layla's perfectly kohled eyes widened in surprise as she reviewed him conflicted. He could see she didn't get it. She wasn't used to not getting what she wanted, it was a crippling character flaw of hers. He could practically see the cogs turning in her head as she pouted morosely before raising a quizzical eyebrow.

"Gay?" she queried.

"Monogamous." Antonio informed her sternly.

"Lucky her." Layla commented dryly, licking her lips at the possibility of a challenge. Antonio kicked himself for not gauging that response sooner. It was like waving a red flag in front of a bull.

"Lucky me." Antonio corrected, leaving Layla speechless as he rose to his feet. "I'm going to see if your husband needs another drink.

* * *

Layla could see the glossy black Samsung resting upon the surface of bar. It was Antonio's, he had put it down there when she had approached him for a little fun. She wasn't used to being rejected. Even before Asher men had fallen at her feet, now she had the money and the time she was irresistible. Her gaze strayed to Antonio as his hand clasped her husband's shoulder, the two of them leaning in close to talk.

_Except him..._ Layla thought. _She wasn't irresistible to him._

It was infuriating, she worked so hard to keep herself in shape, to make sure she was perfect all of the time and he had rejected her without a second thought. She had scoffed at his attitude towards monogamy, men always strayed. It was just a matter of time.

Layla reached out clasping his phone in her hand before using her fingertip to trace the pattern she had seen him draw a few times before. The problem with men was that they always underestimated her, she had always been a keen observer, it was how she got what she wanted in the first place.

The screen unlocked and Layla tapped the message icon before flicking through his most recent messages with a girl called Maggie. There were several images of her included, she looked so normal, so plain...

The cursor was flashing, it blinked alluring at Layla as she bit her lower lip and began to tap out a message.

_Antonio Dawson: You were amazing but what happened between us tonight... Maggie can never know._

Layla returned the phone back to its rightful place upon the bar, a grin playing across her lips.

Her work here was done.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie receives a text...

**_Antonio Dawson: You were amazing but what happened between us tonight... Maggie can never know._ **

Maggie couldn't stop staring at the words on the screen of her phone. They were seared into her brain, going round and round until her stomach churned and her heart ached. Part of her didn't want to believe it but the cop in her couldn't refute the fact the evidence was staring her right in the face. She thought the two of them were happy, what they had was simple and low key, no pressure. That was the way both of them preferred it with their history and it worked for them. She had thought that he was as committed as she was but apparently she was wrong.

Maggie doubled over, that agony stabbing into her like a dull knife, her chestnut hair falling over her pale features. She had walked away the first time so he wouldn't slip, so he wouldn't fall into the trap that so many married people did and now it was a moot point. She wasn't enough for him, she got that now. This text made that abundantly clear.

"Maggie?" Kayla said, standing in the doorway of the bedroom.

Maggie didn't move, her arms were wrapped around herself, her phone resting upon the cream bedspread. She was dressed for bed, a grey tunic falling over black leggings, her hair was shrouding her features from Kayla's view. Something was wrong, Kayla could see it in the other woman's quivering shoulders.

"Maggie?" Kayla prompted, her voice kind and gentle as she tread across the beige carpet. The other woman didn't speak she simply pushed the phone across the sheets towards Kayla.

She dropped down next to Maggie, their hips bumping slightly as she picked up the phone. She wanted Maggie to know that she was here for her, no matter what craziness was going on in her life. Kayla used her finger to tap the screen before bringing up the message that had sent her friend into a tailspin.

It took her a second to process what she was reading and when she did she could feel that raw disbelief rushing through her system. This couldn't be real, Kayla was struggling to get past that in her head. She had known Antonio for a couple of years now and this didn't seem like him. She got that his job forced him to work covert sometimes but that had never applied to his personal life. This was out of character for him, wildly so. She saw the way he looked at Maggie, there was a real tenderness in him when it came to the other woman that she had never seen him display before her.

So for him to throw it all away in one night...

Kayla didn't believe it for a single second. There was more to this story than met the eye and right now Maggie was hurting too much to see it. She knew that the other woman put on a strong front but she was damaged, there was a vulnerability deep inside of Maggie that Kayla recognized in herself. Survivors could usually spot other survivors a mile away. Their circumstances were different but there was still a bond there, they got each other more than they cared to admit.

"This isn't him." Kayla said, her thumb combing through the messages that Maggie and Antonio had been sending last night. "He wouldn't do this to you."

Maggie ran her hand though those chestnut waves of hers, flipping her hair back away from her face as she let out a loud breath. Her hands were pressed together as if in prayer in front of her lips.

"I pushed too hard." Maggie told the other woman. "He wasn't ready. I should have known 's been working a lot of late nights and he doesn't like to talk about his security gig."

"Maggie." Kayla said directing her friend's focus back to the phone in her hands. "I literally mean this isn't him. I don't think he typed this message."

Kayla leaned in to her friend, their sides brushing against each other as Kayla scrolled through a couple of the messages for Maggie to see.

"Since when has Antonio ever used the word amazing?" Kayla said assertively. "He rarely uses it in conversation, let alone texts."

Kayla used her finger to flip back over a few of the best messages between Maggie and Antonio, her cheeks flushing as she read their content.

"Even when the two of you are talking about 'that' and by the way the two of you are very creative." Kayla said with an appreciative nod. "He goes on about how you drive him crazy but he's never said amazing. He doesn't even use it to describe his kids."

Maggie frowned, removing her phone from Kayla's grasp before flicking through the messages herself. Her keen blue eyes were taking in bits and pieces as she studied their texts.

"You need to talk to him." Kayla said, pressing her hands together between her knees. "I guarantee that he didn't send that message, it reads more like something you'd send." Kayla paused before she corrected herself. "I mean not you specifically, but a woman."

Maggie turned her head to look at Kayla, her cornflower blue eyes questioning as her thumb clicked the button on the side to turn off the screen. There was conflict, Kayla could see it and she knew what it was like to be in that weird space. That indecisiveness would kill Maggie, it could push her in the wrong direction the same way it had before and Kayla couldn't risk that. Her friend had already been through too much and Kayla couldn't stand the idea of watching her self-destruct.

"I'll sleep on it." Maggie said despondently before setting the phone down on the nightstand. Her motions were almost mechanical, Kayla stood up her lips clamped together grimly as she watched the other woman climb into bed.

"I'm gonna grab a glass of water from the kitchen." she uttered excusing herself from the room. Maggie didn't respond, she simply rolled onto her side, gathering up the sheets around her.

Kayla slipped out of the bedroom, closing the door lightly behind her before she dug through her black leather hobo bag and dug out her own phone and dialling Antonio.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Antonio and Jay discuss the truth behind the text.

The interior of the car was stifling, both Antonio and Jay had been sitting inside of it for over two hours now and the atmosphere was beyond tense. It wasn't him, he was happy with life, those waves of agitation were rolling off Antonio like a tsunami. For the umpteenth time Jay watched the other man glance at the screen on his phone before returning it to it's place on the dashboard and sighing heavily. He'd seen this behavior before, when Laura hadn't been playing ball before the divorce papers were signed. However he knew for a fact that things were running smoothly on that front. Laura had met Antonio at the station a few nights ago to drop the kids off and he had never seen his fellow detective smile as much as he had that night.

"Are you ok man?" Jay asked his friend, his elbow resting on the crux of the window frame as he reviewed Antonio who ran his fingers through his dark gelled hair in response to the question. "That's like the millionth time you've checked you've checked your phone since we got into this car."

Antonio's hands were resting on the steering wheel, Jay watched as he clenched it, his knuckles turning white as his grip tightened.

"Maggie is dodging my calls." Antonio admitted with an air of aggravation to his voice.

"What did you do?" Jay asked, twisting in his seat so he could face his partner.

Antonio removed his phone from the steering column before unlocking it and bringing up the message center. He took a few seconds to pull up one of the most recent messages to Maggie before handing the phone off to Jay. The other man jerked his head towards Antonio with an incredulous expression on his face.

"You were stepping out on her?" Jay questioned, his voice betraying his disbelief.

"Come on man." Antonio snapped, snatching his phone back away from Jay setting it back on the steering column. Jay rose his hands in mock surrender.

"So if you didn't send the text who did?" Jay questioned, his analytical mind puzzling over the pieces.

"I work security for a diamond broker, his wife did not take kindly to me turning her down. I left my phone at the bar, she must of typed this when I wasn't looking." Antonio told his friend, jamming both of his hands into his hair this time. "By the time I figure out what's going on Maggie is unresponsive. She's not taking my calls or returning my texts."

"It's pretty obviously it's not you though." Jay submitted before pointing accusingly at the phone. "Since when have you ever used the word amazing?"

"I'm guessing in Maggie's head it's not that simple." Antonio told his friend, that frustration whipping up inside of him at the current situation. "On the surface she's all gunpowder and lead but underneath she's still very vulnerable. All that stuff she dealt with being undercover doesn't just go away when you step out of that role, it sticks with you. It makes it hard to trust."

"Even you?" Jay pointed out. "The man who has basically been by her side the whole entire time."

Antonio shrugged his shoulders at Jay's implications. He had thought that Maggie and himself were more solid than this, that something so stupid wouldn't knock them for six. However life didn't always work that way, Maggie was still putting the pieces of herself back together, she was still readjusting. The ground wasn't steady for her yet, he knew she would still be waiting for the other shoe to drop and in her eyes it just had.

"Apparently even me." Antonio said, his fingers tapping out a familiar rhythm on the steering wheel again.

"But Antonio you were amazing..." Jay responded sporting a huge grin as Antonio turned to stare at him.

"You are such a dick." Antonio told him, that familiar smirk twitching at the corners of his mouth.

"Am I?" Jay inquired innocently before busying himself on his own phone tapping out a message before hitting send. "Or was I just amazing?"

* * *

**_Antonio Dawson: Maggie, come on pick up the phone._ **

**_Antonio Dawson: Maggie, you know I would never betray you like that._ **

**_Antonio Dawson: Come on Maggie, we need to talk about this._ **

* * *

_**Jay Halstead: Maggie, you've got to quit ignoring his calls. You know he didn't send that text.** _

_**Maggie O'Neill: It's none of your business Jay.** _

_**Jay Halstead: She speaks! I'm serious though, you know he didn't do this.** _

_**Maggie O'Neill: Leave. It. Alone.** _

* * *

_**Hank Voight: Something going down between Antonio and Maggie? He's been acting like someone pissed in his cereal.** _

_**Alvin Olinsky: Don't know. I can find out.** _

_**Hank Voight: Leave it for now but if it gets any worse intervene.** _

_**Alvin Olinsky: I'll keep an eye on it.** _

* * *

_**Kayla Sharpe: Have you spoken to him yet?** _

_**Maggie O'Neill: Nope.** _

_**Kayla Sharpe: Are you going to?** _

_**Maggie O'Neill: Kayla, I am working right now.** _

_**Kayla Sharpe: No you're not, I can see you sitting on that bench drinking coffee.** _

_**Maggie O'Neill: Are you stalking me?** _

_**Kayla Sharpe: Look up, next to the fountain.** _

_**Maggie O'Neill: You are so creepy! Stop hanging out of the Ambo window and staring at me.** _

_**Kayla Sharpe: Can't I be concerned about my friend?** _

_**Maggie O'Neill: OMG! Stop honking the horn!** _


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie and Antonio finally talk.

Despite the fact the bridge had always been their place, Maggie still felt comfortable standing here alone. When she needed to step away from the world this was where she would come, being here gave her a clarity that she couldn't seem to grasp anywhere else. Maybe it was the view or the sound of the tide washing up against the metal girders, either way it soothed her soul just a little standing here, breathing in the fresh chilly air. Maggie knew what she should be doing right now but she couldn't bring herself to actually pick up the phone. She felt so bitterly ashamed of the way that she had reacted to this situation. She should have known that Antonio would never do this to her, he had been her rock over the past couple of months, he had been strong and solid. However she couldn't deny that there was always a little piece of her that doubted them, she was always waiting for the other shoe to drop because she didn't think that she deserved to be this happy. It was a ridiculous emotion but it was one that was so heavily ingrained into her it was hard to fight against.

Maggie exhaled deeply as she heard footsteps coming towards her and that familiar sensation of dread settled in her gut. Apprehension was causing pinpricks up and down her spine, it made her mouth dry as she hunched over the railing looking out at the bright full moon as it shone down upon the ripples in the river. She had hoped he wouldn't come here tonight, that he would be working or out with the kids. She wasn't ready to face him quite yet, to explain how broken she really was inside.

"We gotta stop meeting like this." Antonio murmured as he stepped up along side Maggie. Their jackets rustled up against one another, his black leather on her grey wool as Antonio's elbows came to rest upon the metal railing. That olive green hat of his was pulled over his dark hair and ears warding off the cold night air. He rubbed his large hands together as he followed her gaze, his eyes lingering on the reflection of the full moon as it shimmered on the water.

"Yea.I guess we do." Maggie uttered, pursing her lips together and bowing her head. She couldn't stand to look him in the eyes, couldn't stand to see the hurt on his features because of her.

"I'm sorry." she blurted out suddenly causing Antonio to twist his head towards her, his dark eyes furrowed in confusion.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Antonio said as Maggie bowed her head. Those pert pink lips of hers were clamped together grimly, like she was struggling to hold back a well of words.

"I do." Maggie told him rubbing her gloved hands together against the temperature drop in the air. "I saw that text and I just shut down."

"Maggie." Her name rolled off Antonio's lips like a sonnet as he leaned a little closer so that the left side of his warm body was pressing against her right. "You had every right to question my commitment after seeing that text. If it was the other way around they would be still be cleaning up parts of the other guy off the floor."

Maggie tilted her face towards Antonio and for the first time in twenty four hours he could see those dazzling pretty blue eyes of hers staring right back at him. He could see the burden she carried, the guilt and that wasn't fair. They were victims of circumstance and she didn't need to carry all of that with her, none of this was her fault. It took all of his self control not to reach out and bridge the gap between the two of them. The past twenty four hours had been so isolated and lonely. It was a taste of what his life would be like without her and he hated it. He hated the distance between the two of them, it was like he couldn't breath knowing she was in so much pain.

"I needed space to work things out in my head." she confessed her expression crestfallen as she struggled to explain her mindset. "Getting that text last night put me in such a tailspin. I couldn't think straight, I couldn't see that they weren't your words."

"What about now?" Antonio asked cautiously, he felt like he was treading on dangerous ground and that a misstep could obliterate that fragile connection they had.

Maggie pulled a face and just seeing that edge of humor from her made his nerves setting just a little bit inside. He was terrified on some level that she was going to end things between the two off them but seeing that glimmer of mirth reassured that part of him.

"Since when have you ever used the word amazing?" she reminded him with a pointed look.

Despite everything Antonio found himself chuckling at that. She was right of course, just like everyone else. The word just wasn't in his vocabulary, especially not when it came to sex.

"Unbelievable, hot and a few other choice words that are too private to repeat in public but never amazing." Maggie persisted in that low throaty tone of hers that made him think of the nights they spent entwined together, hands caressing everywhere as they explored one another.

A bashful smile broke across Antonio's features as he dug both of his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket.

"I will not apologize for being vocal." he informed her as she fixed him with those sparkling blue eyes. He could see that the storm had broken, she'd needed to get those things off her chest and for him to understand that there was vulnerability there in her heart, even if she hid it well.

"I like it when your vocal." Maggie told him, closing the gap between the two of them, her dainty gloved hands smoothed over the creases of the leather jacket. Her mouth was so tantalizingly close to his, his dark gaze dropped to her lips as she spoke. "But it's not the best thing you do with your mouth."

Antonio's control snapped at those words. His lips sought out hers claiming them with a ferocious desire that ached and burned inside of him. Maggie's fingers laced around the back of his neck drawing him even closer as she pressed her athletic body along the length of his driving him absolutely crazy. He wanted her so much, he could feel their connection humming between the two of them vivid and powerful as he forced himself to break away, his sensuous lips brushing the edge of her mouth as he spoke.

"Let me take you home." He whispered in that husky voice of his. "Let me show you exactly how much you mean to me."


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Antonio and Maggie kiss and make up.

They were barely inside Maggie's apartment door when it began once more. Antonio's lips were already seeking out Maggie's, his hands combing through her loose chestnut tresses as he drew her taunt against him. Her slim, athletic frame pressed against his needy form. Every inch of his body was throbbing for her, he needed that skin on skin contact more than anything right now. Any control that he had had back at the bridge was gone. He was drowning in his beautiful woman as her deft hands yanked down the zipper of his leather jacket before she stripped it away from his broad, muscular shoulders. Desire sizzled through him as she ran those small dexterous hands of hers along the contours of his firm chest through the thin material of crimson shirt. He loved it when she touched him like this. It made him forget that anything else even existed.

Somewhere along the way to her bedroom, they shed each remaining garment. Antonio didn't know how they made it to her bed until he found himself tangled up in her wanton form underneath the fresh sheets. Maggie's hands were threading through Antonio's dark hair as she lay underneath him. There was something possessive in the way she touched him, it was as if she was imprinting every single aspect of him into her memory. He had no doubt in his mind that she was claiming him as her own when her teeth nipped that sensuous spot just underneath the hinge of his jaw. It drove him crazy when she did that. His fingers plunged into her silky hair, guiding her mouth back to his once more. Her light fingertips played along each of the white puckered bullet holes that marred his chest as his tongue parted her lips, dipping into her mouth and tasting that delicious unique blend that made up Maggie.

He was powerless against her beauteous form as she writhed with delirious pleasure underneath the hard planes of his body. Her slender thighs were locked around his taunt waist as Antonio thrust inside her inviting supple frame.

Jesus, Maggie couldn't get enough of him. He was always so tantalising and so passionately responsive to her kisses and ministrations. His teeth grazed that tender spot just above her collarbone, her head tipped back into the pillow as she called out his name. He knew how to work her up until she was trembling and begging for more.

His skin was molten hot against hers as the waves of ecstasy claimed her violently. His hips were moving just that little bit faster hitting that sweet spot over and over again until he held her just on the cusp begging for release.

"Look at me." Antonio whispered against her pert pink lips, those deviant dark eyes boring into the very depths of her soul. "I want to look into your eyes while I make love to you."

Making love...

It was a phrase that the two of them had never used before they'd met the other. There were implications to his words, ones that made Maggie's heart literally ache as that well of emotion filled her up inside before Antonio began to move again inside of her.

That noise she made was music to his ears, it made him feel every inch the man he was in her eyes. Antonio's mouth enclosed over hers once more, stifling her moans of joy. He was stealing her heart all over again. He savored every moment with her, every time they could be together without boundaries or consequences.

Her desperation was in every single one of her cries as her body bucked and tensed clambering on the very cusp of climax. His right hand found hers, their fingers entwining as he picked up the pace.

"Maggie." he mumbled against her mouth indicating just how close he was to their release.

His senses were dazzled by the endorphins that erupted through him. He was wrapped up entirely in her and he loved every single second of it. Her taste was on his tongue, her floral scent in his nose, he could see the rapture on those pretty features.

Antonio felt the moment that Maggie gave herself over to him completely. Her fingertips dug into his knuckles. Her orgasm was already clenching around his dick like a velvet fist. God, he could feel it igniting the love he held for her in his heart as she moaned against his mouth. He held onto her as she crested, her climax drawing out his own. He erupted deep inside of her, a low gluttonous groan leaving his lips before he kissed Maggie once again. Their kisses becoming lazy and languid as they came down from their high.

"I'll never stop loving you." Antonio murmured against Maggie's hair line as he gathered her up into his arms. "I'll always want you, always need you."

Maggie propped her chin upon his chest so that she was looking directly into those stunning dark eyes of his. She saw her world in those eyes, an entire universe carved out just for her.

"I didn't know what love was before I met you." she revealed, her fingertips lightly ghosting the circular scar just above his heart. "When we became partners, it was like everything just clicked into place and everyday after that it just got more real until I couldn't deny the way I felt."

"And now?" Antonio queried, arching a dark eyebrow.

"I'm so hopelessly in love with you it scares me sometimes." Maggie confessed, her pert pink lips brushing over his soft skin as she placed a gentle kiss to his chest.

"How about we be scared together?" Antonio suggested, his hand seeking out hers before he laced their fingers together. Maggie nodded her agreement before curling against his side, her lithe form relaxing against his before her breath evened out and she fell into a deep contented sleep.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group play catch up.

Maggie O'Neill: Hey, how's the new job working out? Saw your case on the news this morning.

Erin Lindsey: My boss sucks but otherwise it's ok, still getting to grips with it.

Maggie O'Neill: Let me know when you have some free time so we can grab a cup of coffee or lunch x

Erin Lindsey: Will do x

* * *

Nadia Decotis: Picture message attached.

Trudy Platt: You got into the academy! I am so proud of you! Your going to be a cop!

Nadia Decotis: I can't believe it and I have you to thank for it. I couldn't have done it without you!

Trudy Platt: We need to celebrate! Meet me at the front desk at the end of your shift.

* * *

Sean Roman: Hey man. Sorry I've got no one else who can cover you tonight, you want me to cancel on Rosalyn?

Antonio Dawson: No, I don't want to leave you hanging so I'll make this my last shift instead.

Sean Roman: You sure? Layla is a nasty piece of work.

Antonio Dawson: She already tried to derail my relationship and failed. What more can she do?

Sean Roman: Good point. Let me know how it goes.

* * *

Jay Halstead: Yo hows it going? It was great to see you the other day.

Erin Lindsey: Fine. It's just a pain working with some of these people. They are treating a relocation of a witness as if it's a holiday. My boss actually told me to go get my nails done with his wife.

Jay Halstead: At least you are getting some R & R. Voight is running us ragged over here.

Erin Lindsey: Trust me I would rather be back there right now.

Jay Halstead: Missing me already ;)

Erin Lindsey: Missing my chair! They have these weird, plastic, ultra modern things here.

Erin Lindsey: Picture message attached.

Jay Halstead: That looks like your trying to sit on the letter 'S' what happened to comfort?

Erin Lindsey: Apparently it's all about functionality here. Did Ruzek take my chair?

Jay Halstead: Picture message attached.

Erin Lindsey: He doesn't have to look so smug about it!

Jay Halstead: He says you underestimate how uncomfortable the other one was. We miss you here.

Erin Lindsey: We?

Jay Halstead: All of us... but me the most. Atwater's cool and everything but he doesn't have your smile.

Erin Lindsey: I miss you too x

* * *

Hank Voight: I'm going to ask Burgess to take Erin's spot in Intelligence.

Al Olinsky: Good, the girl deserved it the first time around.

Hank Voight: I really thought you would be more difficult about this and champion Maggie for the position.

Al Olinsky: Maggie may have the experience but she isn't ready for something like this. She'd still finding her feet.

Hank Voight: Glad you agree. I'll speak to Kim when she gets back from annual leave.

* * *

Al Olinsky: Hey kid, hows the new apartment?

Maggie O'Neill: Awesome, it's a great place and I'm glad Platt hooked me up with it. Let me know when your free to come over and I'll cook you Carbonara.

Al Olinsky: 7pm. Tonight.

Maggie O'Neill: Bring a good wine!

Al Olinsky: Do you think I buy anything except good wine?

* * *

Jay Halstead: Why is he laughing?

Kevin Atwater: I have no idea... Funny text?

Jay Halstead: Al's phone barely takes pictures. What can possibly be that funny?

* * *

Maggie O'Neill: Good luck tonight x

Antonio Dawson: Thanks. I can't wait to get this over and done with. x


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman and Maggie discuss Kayla.

No matter what the season the locker room was always seemed to be cold. There were goosebumps running over Maggie's pale skin as she fastened the buttons of her blue polyester shirt over her black tank top. Beside her Roman was seated on the wooden bench that was centered between the two sets of metal lockers, his fingers tapping out a text on that sleek black cellphone of his.

Maggie removed her thick flack jacket from the standard issue hanger, putting it down onto the bench beside Roman, before closing the locker and stepping into her boots. She put her booted foot up onto the bench in order to tie her laces before catching a glimpse of his worn out features. His blond head was tilted downwards, his teeth biting at his lower lip as he studied the screen intently. There was a twinge of redness around his vivid blue eyes.

"Problem?" Maggie questioned, her dexterous fingers, tied the thick laces into a double bow.

"Yea. I got a problem." Roman said running his hand over his short blond hair. "It's name is Kayla and she apparently doesn't believe in texting me back."

Maggie gave him a severe look, one of bordered on disdain as he met her gaze head on. To say she was protective over the young paramedic was an understatement and it irked her to hear Roman refer to her the way he had.

"If she's not texting you back it must be for a good reason." Maggie stated, switching feet to tie the laces on her other boot.

"You'd think so wouldn't you?" Roman responded placing his phone on the bench beside him before rubbing his hands over his tired features. He looked like hell, whatever was going on was tearing him up inside. "I thought things were going great, I was ready to make a commitment but I guess that she wasn't."

Maggie sat down on the bench beside him, pressing her hands between her knees as if in prayer as she waited for Roman to continue. She had gotten to know him well enough in the time that Kim had been away visiting her family to know that he was not a man you could push around. If he wanted to talk she knew she had to be patient and wait for him to tell her in his own time.

"I don't like sleeping alone." he said without looking at Maggie. She knew how much the admission cost him. Sean was a private person when it came to his relationships, he had been burned in the past. Maggie had heard rumors of his ex in the 31st and she couldn't help but dislike the other woman.

"No one does." Maggie admitted softly, as Sean put his hands palm down on either side of the bench in order to steady himself.

"She leaves most of the time after we..." he trailed off clamping his lips together. he couldn't bring himself to say the words he wanted to, it felt like a betrayal of himself and Kayla. "And the times she does sleep through the night, she's gone before I can even utter the words good morning."

"Oh." Maggie murmured abruptly, suddenly understanding his words and the implications. It didn't surprise her that Kayla hadn't broken that habit yet, the other woman had been to hell and back. She couldn't imagine what it must be like to try and trust someone after what had happened to her.

"Last night I told her how I felt. It was the biggest mistake I could have made. She was out the door in an instant." Roman said, raising his tired blue eyes to meet Maggie's gaze. There was hurt there, Kayla's escape had cut him even deeper than he cared to admit.

"Is it something to do with me?" he questioned his temporary partner, his head sinking into his hands. "Do I have something on me that screams do not commit?"

Maggie inhaled deeply into the silence that hovered between the two of them before speaking carefully.

"It's not you."

Sean looked up from his hands, his keen, analytical gaze sweeping over Maggie's pale features as she struggled to keep her expression passive.

"What do you know about Kayla's last relationship?" Maggie asked Roman wearily.

Roman paused for a moment as his mind flitted back to the conversations they had late at night in the dark. The way she had reacted when he placed a kiss on that white scar that chased along her dark hairline. It had shocked her that he didn't mind that small flaw of hers. He had never thought of it as a flaw, it was part of her and he loved it, the same way he loved everything else about her.

"I can tell he was an asshole." Sean said, rubbing his palms together in an attempt to warm them against the cool air in the room.

"That is the understatement of the year." Maggie told him frankly, her nimble fingertips toying with the button on the cuff of her left sleeve as Roman stared at her taking in words that were left unspoken.

His mouth went dry, his blond eyebrows furrowing into a deep frown as memories began to resurface, the ones of Kayla flinching when he had accidentally surprised her. He thought he had imagined the fear in those doe brown eyes of hers but now he knew he hadn't. Now he understood that once she'd had a reason to be scared. It made him feel ill to know that someone had dared to raise a hand to her. It made his blood boil to think of her frightened and trapped like that.

"You need to give her time." Maggie said, her expression grim as she reviewed him. "She likes you so much Sean, her eyes just sparkle when she talks about you but after what happened she can only give so much of herself. For now she's got to have one foot in and one foot out. Is that really so bad?"

Roman shook his head, he couldn't bring himself to speak, he was afraid his voice would crack from the raw emotion that was making his heart literally ache inside of his chest.

"I'm gonna give you a minute." Maggie told him raising to her feet, she scooped up her heavy flack jacket and folded it over her forearm. "I'll be in the corridor when you ready."


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Antonio faces off with Layla.

Tonight had been a living nightmare. Antonio could feasibly see how he ended up in this situation but he was still in a state of disbelief at the turn of events. He had never envisioned that his last night working with Asher Rosalyn would also end up being the other man's last night alive. He had stepped out for a pack of cigarettes and returned to find Asher dead in the back of the SUV with a bullet wound through his left temple. The compartment between the seats had been jimmied open and whatever had been located in there was missing. Antonio suspected diamonds from his previous escapades with the other man, how much he had no clue.

"Antonio." he heard his name being called from the back of the shiny black SUV and caught sight of Maggie's concerned face as she approached him. Her dainty hands were wrapped around the grip of her Glock, her finger resting on the trigger as she ducked along the length of the car, Sean Roman a mere footstep behind her.

"Shooter?" she questioned, her cobalt blue eyes quickly sweeping over him as she cataloged him with an intensity he was wasn't used to. It had been a long time since someone had cared about him like that. It still surprised him, even now that this woman was his and his only.

"Gone." he said, holstering his own weapon into the leather shoulder strap tucked away under his suit jacket. Maggie nodded her understanding before both Roman and herself stowed away their weapons.

"What happened?" Roman asked, his blond eyebrows curving into a crease as Antonio tilted his head indicating to the back seat of the SUV.

"Asher was shot in the head at point blank range." Antonio confided before casting a glance at the gas station store over his shoulder. "I went in there to grab a pack of smokes and he was like that when I came back. I couldn't have been gone more than a minute."

"And you saw nothing out of the ordinary at all?" Maggie asked, the left side of her mouth turned down in a sympathetic grimace.

Antonio sighed deeply, placing lacing his fingers behind his head before he shook it to answer her question. Maggie recognized the gesture, it was something he did when he was pushed to breaking point. She knew this situation had to be putting him under intense mental pressure. He knew what this would look like and she hated the fact that he was trapped in this position.

"Hey." Maggie said lightly, her small hand clasping his shoulder gently.

His gaze met hers and she could see the fear in those dark pools of his, that strain bearing down upon his shoulders. There was no misunderstanding there, he was dealing with the cards he was dealt and the future looked bleak. His life was this job, he didn't know who he was without it.

"Have you called Voight?" she murmured.

"Yea." Antonio responded, dropping his hands so they came to rest on either side of his body. "He should be here any minute now."

"Don't speak to anybody else until he gets here." Maggie told him firmly, the tone of her voice demanded compliance. Antonio understood as he stared into those steely blue eyes of hers that this was not a request. "I don't care who it is just promise me you'll keep your mouth shut until he gets on the scene."

"I won't." he promised her devoutly.

For the first time tonight he was glad that Roman and her were the first to arrive at the scene. His head had been battered struggling to make sense of the chain of events that had led him to this point in time. He was clearer now, more focused. Maggie was watching his back and he knew the rest of his team would too. He just had to hold on until Voight got here and keep his mouth shut.

"We got incoming." Roman muttered to the both of them from his position at the rear of the SUV. "Detective, I don't recognize."

"Remember what I said." Maggie murmured before drawing away from him enough to maintain a professional distance.

Antonio straightened his spine, his broad shoulders set as his chin jutted out before he stepped forward to meet his fate head on.

* * *

To say that Antonio Dawson excelled in interrogation had always seemed to be an understatement in Maggie's eyes. Those same skills that made him a superb undercover cop served him just as well when he was sitting across the table from a suspect. Sitting back and watching him work was a rarity these days, their shifts sometimes brought them together on a case or two but she never got to see this side of him anymore. She was standing on the opposite side of the two way mirror, the side where you could observe the interrogation. Voight was standing beside her, his arms crossed over that plaid shirt of his. His jaw was set as he watched the interrogation analytically, taking in all the information betrayed through tone and body language.

Layla Rosalyn was a piece of work, Maggie could tell that much from the way the other woman stood on the opposite side of the table, those glossy lips of hers pouting as she surveyed the room. She was dressed in black, calf length athletic leggings that clung to her like a second skin, her rose pink tank top was low cut showing a generous expanse of cleavage despite the fact she was wearing an expensive black zip up hoodie over the top. The clothes could have given her the look of someone who had thrown on the moment they had heard the news of their husband's death if her hair and makeup hadn't been so perfectly put together.

Antonio said nothing as he leaned against the wall alongside the door. He had changed into his civvies somewhere in the time between leaving the scene and Maggie being called up here by Voight. He looked every inch the bad boy, with that diamond earring of his glinting in the florescent lighting. Layla was taking in the sight before her with an interest that Maggie want to throttle her. She wasn't a possessive person by nature but she was protective especially when it came to the people she cared about. Maggie didn't give a shit that Layla had tried to ruin her relationship with Antonio, she had failed spectacularly on that front. However she did care that this gold digger was willing to destroy Antonio and his career to get what she wanted. It riled Maggie, it made her want to shake the truth out of the other woman.

"Life's so fragile, you know?" Layla was saying, her right arm wrapped around herself as her fingertip toyed with a lock of her ebony hair.

Antonio's dark eyes were on her stern and intense, he was barely able to contain the disgust in his handsome features as he navigated the conversation.

"Outside the club, you were arguing about someone named Terry." He told Layla. There was no point in denying it, Layla was smart enough to know that and to her credit she played it to her strength.

"Were we?" she queried before continuing as if distracted. "Oh, I had sex with him a couple times."

"Just like that?" Antonio questioned skeptically, quirking a dark eyebrow.

"Asher got off on it." she informed him before a slow flirtatious smile crossed her caramel features. "Why do you think we were there?"

"I don't know, Layla." Antonio responded, his chocolate brown eyes were cold and hard as he stared back at her. "I'm not a pervert."

"So your telling me you've never thought about watching your little girlfriend, what was her name..." Layla asked tapping her chin with her fingertip for a second before her eyes brightened. "...Maggie with another woman? Could you imagine what I would do her while you watched?"

Layla's teeth grazed her lower lip as she straightened her spine so even more of her curvaceous assets were on display. Antonio snorted rudely in response to Layla's teasing. Maggie understood that it was nothing that he hadn't expected. Layla was used to controlling men through seduction, everything about her from her words to her body language was rehearsed and practiced. Maggie wondered how many people had fallen for that over the years, how many lives she had left in ruins.

"Your not her type, the same way your not mine." Antonio asserted, his body language remaining nonchalant at the suggestion. There was no interest in those serious features of his, there was nothing for Layla to feed off and Maggie could see it knocked her off balance.

"So this is Antonio Dawson the cop, huh?" Layla responded coolly, her gaze dropping to the shiny gold badge that was clearly displayed on his hip.

"Tell me about Terry." Antonio requested, tilting his head to the right as he reviewed her stoically.

"Just did." Layla informed him, wrapping both arms around herself. "He was just some guy we hooked up with..." She smiled once again, her perfect eyebrows arched as she spoke. "...One of many."

"That's a real nice life." Antonio responded snidely, his distaste evident.

"Better than some." Layla shot back. "Monogamy gets boring. You'll see."

The implication was there and although it irritated Maggie, it rolled over Antonio as if the other woman hadn't even spoken. She couldn't believe that he had to deal with this absurd woman for so long. She had to applaud him, he had the patience of a saint.

"You don't seem too broken up over Asher's death." Antonio stated frankly.

"I don't parade my emotions around in front of strangers just to make them feel better." Layla said, her voice devoid of emotions.

It sounded practiced in Maggie's ears, a way to explain the lack of empathy she had for the dead body she had once called her husband.

"Did you have anything to do with your husband's murder?" Antonio asked, his voice strong and his question direct as he met Layla's smokey kohl lined eyes.

"No." she said smiling sweetly as she spoke."No, I went back inside the club. Remember? You should have come in with me..." Layla pouted as she fluttered her eyebrows. "Then you wouldn't be caught up in all of this."

Maggie turned her head towards Voight, her keen blue eyes taking in the profile of his face. She could see that slight twitch in his left cheek as he kept his eyes forward, his arms crossed over his chest, spine straight. It had taken her until now to realize what she was doing up here, watching this interrogation.

"The club..." she began, turning to confront him, one hand on her hip. "...its The Red Bridge isn't it?"

Voight nodded his head before his palm slapped the mute button on the intercom, silence drowning out the sound of Layla's voice as he turned to face her head on.

"You could have just asked." Maggie told him quietly.

Already Voight could see her withdrawing into herself which was exactly what he didn't want. He had brought her to this interrogation room so that she could see what they were up against. Compromising her was not a decision that he took lightly, if there was any other way he would have found it but they were on a time limit and Antonio's career was hanging by a thread.

"I couldn't." Voight said putting a fatherly hand on Maggie's small shoulder as he ducked his head so that she could see the honesty in his eyes before he tilted his head towards the observation window. "And neither could he."

She knew that Hank was saying and Maggie appreciated it more than she could ever tell him. Her transition back into this life hadn't been smooth and there were nights where she still woke up with the feel of Gregor's hands wrapped around her throat. Antonio knew that, he had smoothed her hair back away from her face and whispered the sweetest words into her ear when she experienced those nightmares. Being Magdalena again would take her right back to a place she had fought so hard to get out of.

"It needs to be different this time." Maggie told Voight, her brain already spinning over the logistics as she averted her gaze to that man on the other side of the window. Her man, the one that chased away every single one of her demons.

"Whatever you need." Voight responded, squeezing her shoulder reassuringly. "You know we've got you covered."

Maggie nodded her agreement at his words. Logically she knew that Hank would never leave her and high and dry, he had guided her into a place where she could make the best decision she could with the information at hand. She knew his team both socially and professionally, hell Antonio trusted those people with his life on a daily basis. Her stomach was still twisting in knots at the possibilities ahead of her, she was scared that she wouldn't be able to handle this. That she would slip up and fail Antonio in some way.

" _I love you." Antonio whispered against her hairline as he gathered her up in his muscular arms, cradling her trembling body against his. Her heart was beating like a drum against her ribs, she could still taste the bile on her tongue as she wheezed in a shaky breath trying to stave off the panic that flooded her senses. "Your safe here with me."_

It was that memory that fortified her. She had lost count of the amount of times she had thanked God above for bringing this wonderful man into her life, for the strength that he had given her when it was far too much to carry that burden alone. She would do this for him. The two of them were together in this, no matter what.


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Antonio entrusts Jay with one of the most precious people in his life.

To say Maggie looked gorgeous was an understatement. She had always looked beautiful in Antonio's eyes, even first thing in the morning with no makeup and her chestnut hair all over the place. Right now though standing here in the parking garage of the 21st District she looked absolutely unbelievable.

Over the years he had seen her in a number of roles but he had never witnessed her become Magdalena. This was different, it made her different. She'd returned to station twenty minutes ago as a completely different woman. Her glossy, chestnut hair that had once fallen past her shoulders had been trimmed back so that those loose waves of hers tumbled past her jawline. The change was dramatic but he found he liked it. It made her look more dynamic, there was an edge to her now that seemed to have been missing over the past couple of months but it was back with vigor. Her bright blue eyes were sparkling, he didn't know if it was because of her pretty dark eyeliner or from the thrill of the chase. The hunt, he thought, he'd seen this in her before. There was an excitement in their job, a thrill and he understood that more than anyone.

Her dress was one that he had never seen before but he liked the way it looked on her. The delicate black lace looked glorious on her translucent skin as she stood there talking to Atwater. He watched quietly from the doorway as her crimson lips curved into grateful smile. Sometimes watching her was simply enough for Antonio, she was poetry in motion, the way she sashayed in those patent leather spike heels of hers made him want to rush her home to bed. He would give anything to pull her away from all of this but he couldn't. There was so much at risk involved right now. His career, his livelihood and everything he knew was on the line and Maggie would do everything in her power to get him through this. He'd try to change her mind earlier in the locker room but there was a fire in her that he hadn't been able to quench. Her vibrant blue eyes had been raging when he challenged her decision.

_The tension was palpable in the locker room as Maggie's furious gaze landed on Antonio. Her petite hands were resting on her hips as he glowered back at her._

_"You can not stop me from doing this." Maggie told him, her tone glacial as she spoke. It sent dull knives stabbing into his heart and Antonio he hated it when she did this. They had had fights before in the past but when she shut down like this it drove him literally insane._

_He could feel that fear coiling in his stomach as his hands came to rest on her delicate shoulders, his dark eyes were boring into hers so that she could see everything that he was feeling right now and more._

_"I can't let you do this for me." Antonio told her, shaking his head venomously. His thumb grazed the apple of her cheek lightly as he cradled her face with his right hand. She was precious to him, she knew that and she had to know that he would never put her in a position like this. He couldn't stand the thought of losing her again, of going back to those dark days where she was simply a hollow of the person that she had once been._

_Maggie placed her hand over his gently, holding his warm hand in place before she stepped up to him. It was torturous seeing him like this, torn against his sense of duty to her and himself. She had forgotten how selfless he could be, he would rather lose everything right now than let her walk into the lion's den. Antonio rested his forehead against hers, their lips barely inches apart as the sound of their breathing filled the silence between them. His heart was physically aching inside of his chest as Maggie whispered against his sensuous mouth._

_"I can't let her destroy you like this."_

_Antonio's muscular arms wrapped her lithe body, gathering her up into a loving embrace as he inhaled her sweet floral scent. He needed this right now, he needed her love and her reassurance. Maggie had always been his sanctuary and this time she would be his savior. They stood like that for the longest time, Maggie rubbing soothing circles along the taunt muscles of his back as he pressed a butterfly kiss to her hairline._

_"This isn't all on you." she said softly, her thumb trailing over the knots of his spine through his shirt. "Let me share some of the load, this is what I do and I do it well."_

_"Maggie..." he implored._

_"Antonio..." she returned, her voice firm and her tone resolu_ te.

_There was no reasoning with her when she was like this. His woman was stubborn and fierce, it was part of her allure even if it did make for turbulent times._

Now he was stood here in the doorway of the garage simply watching her. He didn't blame her would have done the same himself in her situation. He wanted nothing more right now that to whisk her away from all of this but deep down he knew he couldn't.

As a detective he could order her to do his bidding but their relationship had never been about that. They were a partnership and he had faith in her despite the circumstances. he believed in his heart of hearts that she would do everything in her power to come back to him.

Maggie glanced up as he made his way over to her purposely. Over her shoulder Antonio could see Atwater intentionally busying himself as far away as he could out of earshot. He appreciated the other man's reading of the situation, he could trust Kevin to understand that the two of them would need a few minutes before Maggie went under again. He placed his large hands, palms down on the desk of the electronics booth before exhaling deeply. Maggie said nothing, she simply inclined her head towards him waiting for him to speak.

"I hate this." he admitted quietly, his dark eyes betraying every single one of the emotions that riled up deep inside of him. "I hate the fact you have to do this."

"I'll be back before you know it." she told him, a small smile gracing those pretty features of hers. Her palm came to rest on the back of his hand, her fingers entwining with his squeezing tightly. Antonio focused on that fleeting connection before she withdrew, clearing her throat noisily as Halstead appeared next to them.

The other man was clad in an expensive suit, one that Antonio had to have cost more than a month's salary, where it had come from he had no idea but Jay looked the part in it. Just seeing the two of them standing next to one another made him suck in a deep breath and straighten his spine. This was happening and he didn't have to like it but he did have to get on board. Maggie's focus had to be on the mission and not on his misgivings.

"You ready?" Jay asked, his gaze pointedly on Maggie as she nodded her agreement.

"I just gotta grab my purse." she told him, before departing from the group.

"I got her six, man." Jay reassured Antonio, his hand clasping his friend's shoulder as they watched Maggie leave. "She'll have back up the entire time."

"Yea, I know." Antonio said bobbing his head in agreement before twisting towards Jay meeting his baby blue eyes. There was a seriousness to the other man that was rare but Jay expected it. He wasn't surprised when Antonio spoke and he took those words to heart upon hearing them.

"I'm trusting with you with one of the most important people in my life. Just make sure she gets back to me in one piece."


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay discovers the truth behind one of Maggie’s previous relationships.

The outside of The Red Bridge was as grand as it had always been. The concrete awning above them was dotted with halogen spot lights, illuminating the smooth pathway that led up the glass revolving door. Jay lingered well within her proximity, matching her step for step as they proceeded towards the huge, muscle bound bouncer clad in a tasteful grey Armani suit alongside the door.

"I thought we needed membership to get in." Jay muttered out the side of his mouth to Maggie. Despite his misgivings on their entrance, he alluded a cocky, confident presence. He looked like he belonged here with these people, like he too was rich and extravagant instead some poor Irish American kid from Canaryville.

"I have membership." Maggie responded, drawing out a slender gold card between her fingers and holding it up for the bouncer to scan. The hand held reader beeped, the little light flashing green before the bouncer gestured for them to step forward into the club. It took them a moment to get through the revolving door before they were thrust into a symphony of loud music. It was dark and sensual, Maggie could feel it vibrating through her bones as she waited for Jay to adjust to the noise, his keen baby blue eyes surveying the interior of the wonderland they had stepped into.

"Should I be concerned that you have membership to a place like this?" Jay asked her, his hand coming to rest on Maggie's back as they wandered slowly through the crowd. It was a possessive gesture, one that Maggie appreciated. He was staking his claim to her, sending off the intentional message that she was off limits and lord help anyone who approached her. Jay hovered less than a step behind her, his brooding presence covering her back as wove her way past the groupings of people.

"Oskar used to bring me here." Maggie responded, her mind rolling over the sights and sounds of the place, drinking them in. "Single men aren't allowed in the club and I was a great solution for that. Catholic girl in a place like this..." Maggie shrugged her dainty shoulders, still peering over the groups of people. "... I think he enjoyed the fact it made me uncomfortable."

"Yea..." Jay agreed as he mapped out the area in his head. He couldn't believe some of the stuff that he was seeing right now. It was like porn but without the barrier of the TV in front of you. He supposed it was meant to be erotic and he could see for some people it really was but he, himself could think of nothing worse then trying to preform in front of a small group of people. He didn't think of himself as the jealous type but the thought of anyone's hands on Erin but his made him what to break something. "...I could see that being his type of thing."

Maggie sundered up to the bar, perching on one of the bar stools before she crossed her lithe legs over one another. Jay followed suit, his lanky body leaning in towards her as she raised one finger to signal to the bartender.

"What's the plan?" he queried, raising his eyebrows as he surveyed the leather waist coat the bartender was wearing over his naked chest.

"We wait." Maggie said before ordering them both a glass of bourbon. Her clever blue eyes strayed towards the silver, curves staircase that led upstairs. Jay raised the bourbon to his lips, savoring the rich taste as he followed her gaze. There was someone coming down them, a curvaceous, cappuccino skinned woman took slow, deliberate steps, her suggestive, emerald eyes searching over the crowd until they came to rest on the pretty brunette sitting along side of him.

"Bingo." he murmured against the exquisite glass in his hand. "Do you want to me to play the bodyguard or the boyfriend?"

Maggie's eyes narrowed as she took in the sashay of the other woman's hips, that smile playing across her full glossy lips as those eyes focused on hers. She had to pick a play right now, one that work for her in this situation, one that the woman who knew her as Magdalena Murphy would believe.

"Bodyguard." Maggie told him, taking a quick sip of her bourbon. "She'll blow cold on the boyfriend angle."

"Bodyguard it is." Jay said lowering his glass and placing it on the leather coaster in front of him and squaring his shoulders in order to make himself look more formidable.

Maggie rose to her feet, her spine straightening until she was standing at her full height, her shoulders back and chin up. Her face practically changed in front of his eyes, her expression went from consummate professional to something more sultry. It felt like he was witnessing something deeply personal, something that should only be reserved for Antonio.

"Magdalena, long time no see." The other woman greeted her, her lips pressing against Maggie's. The kiss was practically sinful, the other woman's fingers tangled in her shorter jaw length tresses as she drew her even closer.

At least he knew why boyfriend wasn't an option. Maggie pulled away, her thumb smoothing across her own lower lip to remove the smudged red lipstick.

"Eve, I missed you too." she responded, tilting her head towards the bar. "Let me buy you a drink."

Eve took a seat alongside Maggie, her emerald eyes flicking up to Jay who remained stationary in his seat, the glass of bourbon clasped between his hands.

"Whose the boy toy?" she asked, a dark eyebrow quirking as the left side of her mouth turned down into an unhappy smile

"He's the muscle." Maggie said with a cool glance over her shoulder. Jay raised his glass in a salute to the both of them before Maggie turned her attention back to Eve. "He's here to keep an eye out for me."

Eve indicated to the bartender who appeared with yet another two bourbons, she picked up her glass, her glittering fingernail playing along the rim.

"I called you after the job with Oskar went south." Eve told her, her gaze downcast. "You never returned my calls."

Maggie took a sip from her own glass, feeling that pleasant burn lingering in the pit of her stomach. She let it roll over her before she let those thoughts of Antonio slip away. There was no Antonio in Magdalena's life, there just that crushing emptiness that had swallowed her up whole, it had made her turn to Eve after that first year alone.

"I had to get out of town for a little while." Maggie submitted, her own gaze turning distant. "You heard what happened to Gregor?"

Eve glanced up curiously, swilling her bourbon so that the ice cubes clinked together.

"He was found dead in one of the back offices, not long after that Oskar was killed in Gen Pop." Eve murmured before her penetrating eyes came to rest upon Maggie, there was a moment of silence as the other woman swallowed hard. "That was you?"

Maggie nodded slowly, holding the glass tightly in her hand. She could feel the hard ridges of it pinching into her skin. The memories of Gregor's hands wrapped around her throat, squeezing the life out of her were still as vivid as the day that it had happened. She could still feel her skin crawl as his beefy fingers tore at her blouse.

"He tried to take something that didn't belong to him." Maggie whispered, peering at Eve through the loose strands of her chestnut hair. "There was a letter opener on the desk."

Eve reached out, her fingertips lightly brushing Maggie's hair back behind her ear, before she cupped her chin and guided Maggie's gaze back to hers.

"It was him or you." Eve told her fiercely. "Never be sorry about defending yourself against a monster like that."

Maggie took a sip from her glass of bourbon, draining it before putting the glass back down on the bar.

"I don't feel sorry for that." Maggie said quietly, her pretty blue eyes sweeping up to meet Eve's emerald ones. "I feel sorry for leaving things the way I did between the two of us."

"It's water under the bridge." Eve dismissed with a wave of her hand, her dark lashes lowering as she smiled sadly. "You needed someone and I was there."

Maggie sighed out loud. Hadn't that been the truth. Eve had been the first person to show her a shred of warmth after a year of going it alone. There was a special place in her heart for the other woman despite what she did for a living.

"I kind of need your help again." Maggie revealed, removing her phone from her her black clutch before flicking through it until she reached a picture of their suspect. "You know him?"

Eve's fine eyebrows creased into a frown as she used her fingers to enlarge the image before rolling her eyes.

"It's one of my bartenders." she informed Maggie, before shaking her head. "More trouble than he's worth."

"You got an employee file on him?" Maggie questioned, that familiar spark of excitement beginning to pulse through her.

"Yea." Eve nodded before draining her glass and returning it to the bar. "Wait here a sec and I'll grab it for you."

Maggie could feel Jay's presence once more, hovering over her shoulder before she rotated her stool towards him. His amused blue eyes glittered as he spoke.

"So you had a girlfriend for a while?" he questioned, nodding his approval.

"Sometimes it's about the right person at the right time." Maggie said with the shrug of her shoulders. "And back then when I was undercover, Eve was the right person."

"I'm not judging." Jay said truthfully holding up his hands in mock surrender. "I'm just interested."

"If we could keep it between the two of us..." Maggie requested, dreading the thought of those rumors floating around the station house.

"No one else needs to know about your hot girlfriend." Jay teased her before straightening his spine and making his face impassive as Eve returned with a brown manila file clasped in her hand.

"This is everything I have on Terry." she told Maggie as she handed her the file.

"Thank you." Maggie said earnestly before pressing a feather light kiss to the other woman's cheek.

File in hand, both Jay and her rose to their feet before disappearing into the night.


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Texts exchanged by members of the precinct.

Antonio Dawson: Maggie... I don't know what to say. Thank you for putting yourself out there like that. x

* * *

Al Olinsky: Hey kid, just checking in. Wanted to see if you were doing ok?

* * *

Hank Voight: Thanks to your information we got Terry. We couldn't arrest the wife but Antonio's job is safe and that's what matters.

* * *

Trudy Platt: I think you broke my patrol officer. She's been staring at the same piece of paper for over half an hour.

Hank Voight: We couldn't get the wife. I guess she's taking it pretty hard.

Trudy Platt: Don't worry, I'll take care of it.

* * *

Trudy Platt: I'm taking out your girl tonight. Don't wait up.

Antonio Dawson: Thank you?

* * *

Trudy Platt: Meet me in the foyer after shift. We gotta go somewhere.

Maggie O'Neill: Not really up for it tonight Sarge.

Trudy Platt: You don't have a choice.

* * *

Antonio Dawson: I'm gonna hit Molly's tonight if you're up for it?

Maggie O'Neill: It depends if Platt's taking me to be murdered or not.

Antonio Dawson: Jesus I hope not... Whose gonna cook for me after a long hard day at work?

Maggie O'Neill: I hate you.

Antonio Dawson: That's not what you were saying the other morning ;)

Maggie O'Neill: That's because you started talking dirty to me and you know what that leads to...

Antonio Dawson: So if I called you right now and told you all those dirty things I've been thinking about since I saw you in that dress...

Maggie O'Neill: You'd have to explain to Platt why I stood her up :)

* * *

Sean Roman: Kayla... I just really wanted to talk to you. I guess I'm sorry, I don't want this to end but if it has to I hope you know that the two of us can still be friends.

* * *

Jay Halstead: Boyz night out!

Jay Halstead: Picture message attached.

Kevin Atwater: Man, you said you wouldn't start without me! You even managed to get Al in the picture!

Jay Halstead: He doesn't know we're photobombing him. Get your ass down here!

Kevin Atwater: I'm just settling Vanessa, I'll be along soon.

* * *

Jay Halstead: Boyz night!

Jay Halstead: Picture message attached.

Adam Ruzek: I go away for a couple of days and you guys decide to hit the town!

Jay Halstead: It's been one of those days!

Adam Ruzek: I can tell from the amount of shot glasses on that table. Hit me up when I get back.

* * *

Maggie O'Neill: I think you need to tell Sean.

Kayla Sharpe: I'm good thanks.

Maggie O'Neill: Kayla, you don't see what this is doing to him...

Kayla Sharpe: You don't see what this is doing to me.

Maggie O'Neill: I'm watching a good man tear himself a part over this. He thinks there's something wrong with him!

Kayla Sharpe: Butt out.

Maggie O'Neill: Your not being fair.

Kayla Sharpe: It's not your concern.

Maggie O'Neill: Like it wasn't yours when I received 'that text'?

Kayla Sharpe: That was different.

Maggie O'Neill: All I'm saying is think about it. Sean's a good guy and his past relationships were kind to him either. I gotta go, Platt's tapping her watch.


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie and Antonio get naughty in Molly's.

Antonio was on his way to being drunk, Maggie had spotted it the very second she had stepped into the bar after her excursion with Platt. His leather jacket was hanging on the back of his chair, his tight black shirt hugging his boxer's physique as he punched his fist in the air in victory, flashing the bold roman numerals on his forearm. Maggie loved that tattoo, she enjoyed the way he shivered when her fingertips traced the shape of each of the numbers.

It took a moment for her to realise the drinking game that the group of men were playing and when she did she found herself suddenly a lot more interested. Never have I, was a game that she had used to play frequently in college, more than a few dirty secrets had come out during those antics and she was eager to learn a bit more about her male colleagues without actually participating.

The next round of shots were lined up on the table and each of the Intelligence crew had a shot glass sitting in front of them. Jay picked his up and toasted the others before speaking.

"Never have I had sex in a bar." he threw his head back, throwing the shot down his throat before Atwater followed suit. Maggie raised her dark eyebrows with intrigue before removing her phone from her pocket and texting out a message to Antonio.

Maggie O'Neill: We could change that. Didn't you mention the utility room in the back once?

A wicked smile curved over her features as Antonio glanced at his phone, biting his lip as he read her message. His sultry dark eyes narrowed as his gaze swept over the crowd seeking her out. His tongue licked the taste of tequila from his lips as he caught sight of his sexy little patrol woman standing their in the same black lace dress and patent leather heels she had worn the previous evening to the sex club. Once again her chestnut hair was loose, falling in waves just past the curve of her jaw. Those long athletic legs of hers were on display, it took every single ounce of his self control not to claim her back then.

He rose to his feet, making an some excuse before he crossed the room in three steps and smothered her mouth with his own, his large hands cupped her place delicate features as his tongue parted her lips and delved deep into the hot wet confines. He didn't care who saw the two of them, he wanted everyone here to know that she belonged to him and him only. He wanted no doubts in her mind, what she had done for him today had cemented their relationship. She had showed him how invested she was in the two of them, that she was ready to fight for him the same way he would fight for her. It meant the world to Antonio, more than he could ever say. Words could never express how he felt about Maggie but he could show her, he would make it his life's mission to make sure she knew how safe and loved she really was.

"Come on." Antonio said, lacing his fingers with hers. He checked in both directions before the two of them slipped through the large silver doors that led into the back of the bar. It was empty with the exception of a large collection of clean glasses stacked up on the shelves either side of them. Antonio placed a finger to his lips, that deviant smile creeping across his handsome features as he pulled her into a single door on the left side of the dishwasher.

The utility room was small, there was an empty washer and a dryer that was apparently going through the motions. Antonio closed the door behind them before turning to Maggie his broad body bumping against hers due to their limited proximity.

His fingers reached up, catching one of her jaw length curls between his fingertips before he smoothed it back behind her ear. He noticed she was wearing those three silver studs in her lobe tonight, his thumb traced over each of them until it came to the tiny star shaped one he had given her for her birthday a few years ago.

"I didn't realise you still had these." he murmured, feeling that familiar sense of longing in his heart. The fact she was wearing them tonight showed him how much he meant to her, how much she cared for the things that he could give her.

Maggie brushed her hair back behind the opposite ear so he could see the matching stud in her other ear. She had three piercings in each but the stars were what stood out prominently.

"Well when a handsome man gives you the stars, I think it's only fair you wear them." she teased, her hand coming to rest on his clothed chest, her thumb smoothing over that ragged little bullet wound, the one that had just missed his heart. His breathing hitched before his strong hand tangled in her glossy chestnut waves. His sensuous mouth covered hers, trying to satisfy that savage craving in the depths of his soul. He backed her up until her ass was against the dryer, his molten hot fingertips drawing that sexy dress of hers higher up her thighs. Maggie's teeth grazed his lower lip, sending him into a frenzy as he lifted her onto the dryer before coming to stand between her parted legs. His calloused hands smoothed up and down her silky thighs as she pulled away from his kisses, a mischievous expression on her pretty features as she fluttered her eyelashes at him.

"I'm not wearing any underwear." she informed him, her delicate hands delving between them as she began to undo the top button on his denim jeans.

His sultry eyes darkened at her words, the desire pulsing through his throbbing cock making him moan as she carefully unzipped his fly, her fingers brushing lightly over his fitted black boxer shorts.

"Take them off." she murmured, her lips brushing along his lip line as he spoke.

Antonio obeyed as Maggie removed a small foil packet from her purse before tearing it open with her teeth. She tossed the wrapper to one side before pinching the end and rolling it down his erection. Antonio arched into her skilled hands, a groan escaping his mouth as she guided him to her slick entrance. She was soaking wet and it turned him so damn much knowing that he did this to her. His hands gripped her ass drawing her even closer as he held the very tip of himself against her moist core. Her hands were in his hair, her nails raking across his scalp as he teased her mercilessly, keeping everything she wanted just out of reach. He smothered her mouth with his own, drowning out her cry of ecstasy as he penetrated her slowly. She was so tight and wet, her lithe legs wrapped around his hips drawing him in even deeper, taking Antonio to a new plateau of euphoria. She arched her hips slightly and he heard her hitched breathing give way to those exquisite noises, the ones that let him know he was hitting just the right spot. He surged forward, picking up the pace as Maggie's pale skin began to flush at his ministrations. Jesus she was beautiful like this, so rampant and wanton. His innocent Catholic girl was dynamite in bed, every single time with her blew his mind in a new and dynamic way. That tingling in his lower back was starting, he bit his lower lip trying to stave off his impending organism as he stared into those beauteous blue eyes of hers, holding her gaze.

Their rasping breathes were the only found that filled the air as he drove Maggie right to the cusp of orgasm. Her athletic body tightened around him as she climaxed, she bit his lower lip driving him past the point of no return as the barrier between pleasure and pain blurred and Antonio tumbled right over the edge. His mouth covered hers once more, his kisses tender as their hearts beat against one another through the material of their clothing.

"You make me do the most insane things." he whispered against her lips, his forehead came to rest against hers as he struggled to catch his breath.

Maggie laughed at his words, the sound was like music in his ears as her fingers combed through his dark hair before she laced them at the base of his neck.

"I never did such crazy things until I met you." she promised him before placing a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. "How long do you think we have until we get caught?"

Antonio hung his head for a moment considering the question before delivering an honest answer.

"Probably not much longer." he admitted before carefully withdrawing himself from Maggie's supple form. Maggie perched on the edge of the dryer watching as he disposed of the evidence.

"We could sneak out the fire escape?" she said conspiratorially. "They probably think we left already."

"Beats doing the walk of shame." Antonio told her with a wolfish smile as reclaimed his jeans and underwear before stepping into them. It took him a few minutes to dress and when he did he took his lover's hand in his own, taking a perverse pleasure in that giddy smile and the sparkle in those blue eyes as he opened the door to the utility room.

"The coast is clear." he told her before the two of them sneaked out of the back door, leaving no trace of their crime behind them.


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Texts between members of the precinct.

Laura Dawson: Antonio I need you to take the kids tonight. I have a business class and the sitter is sick.

Antonio Dawson: I can't tonight, I'm working a case. What about your parents?

Laura Dawson: Their on vacation on Budapest! What about your parents?

Antonio Dawson: Visiting my uncle in Florida.

Laura Dawson: I don't suppose you'd consider Maggie?

Antonio Dawson: I thought you wouldn't consider Maggie?

Laura Dawson: No I am happy with Maggie spending time with the kids. They like her and I trust her to take care of them.

Antonio Dawson: I really think we need to clear the air here... I was under the impression that you didn't like Maggie.

Laura Dawson: I have never said that. Did you just assume I wouldn't like her because the two of you are a couple?

Antonio Dawson:...

Laura Dawson: I don't have a problem with Maggie. I knew she was special to you back then but you were always faithful and she respected that.

Antonio Dawson: So you like Maggie?

Laura Dawson: Antonio... I think Maggie going to be in your life for a long time. She helps out kids with their homework and supports them when the two of us can't. I'm grateful that you have her to lean on and so do they.

Antonio Dawson: I did not see the conversation going this way but I'm glad it did. Do the kids know we're a couple?

Laura Dawson: They are far smarter than you give them credit for. They were the ones that told me the two of you were a couple.

Antonio Dawson: In response to your question I will ask her and let you know what she says.

* * *

Antonio Dawson: Maggie, I need a favor.

Maggie O'Neill: Uh oh... You never ask for favors.

Antonio Dawson: The sitter's cancelled on Laura and she needs to go to a business class tonight and I'm working a case. Could you take the kids?

Maggie O'Neill: Have you cleared this with Laura?

Antonio Dawson: She's the one who suggested it.

Maggie O'Neill: Send me her number and I'll make the arrangements.

Antonio Dawson: I owe you big time.

Maggie O'Neill: Just don't whine when I decide it's time to collect.

* * *

Maggie O'Neill: Hi Laura, what time do you want me to pick the kids up tonight? It's Maggie by the way.

Laura Dawson: Thank you so much for doing this. I need to be at class for 6pm, is 5pm ok? From my house.

Maggie O'Neill: That sounds great. Antonio's filled me in on their routine. I think he has spare stuff if they forget anything.

Laura Dawson: Did he tell you it's an overnight visit?

Maggie O'Neill: He did so no worries. If they need anything special just shoot me a text.

* * *

Sean Roman: Hey, I keep forgetting to ask, where did you and Platt disappear off to the other night?

Maggie O'Neill: Sorry I am sworn to secrecy.

Sean Roman: Come on seriously?

Maggie O'Neill: I think we both know I don't want to be the person who gets the keys to the Squad Car that stinks.

Sean Roman: Point taken.

* * *

Maggie O'Neill: Thanks for taking me taking to see the puppies the other night. You were right playing with them is therapeutic and they are so cute.

Trudy Platt: They prefer the term police dogs in training. Remember the deal, you keep quiet and you can go see them whenever you like. Hell, take Dawson's kids, it'll be a blast.

Maggie O'Neill: How on earth do you know about that already?

Trudy Platt: I have my sources.

Maggie O'Neill: It's Ruzek isn't it? He is such a gossip!

Trudy Platt: Well it's a big deal, you think he trusts just anyone with those kids?

Maggie O'Neill: ... I'll take them to see the puppies.

* * *

Trudy Platt: Hi Nadia, I'm free this Saturday if you want to catch up for a coffee?

Nadia Decotis: I would love that, just let me know the place and time. I could do with a break from the academy. The training is brutal!

* * *

Kim Burgess: OMG! Roman and his ex are driving me literally insane!

Maggie O'Neill: Welcome to how I felt this morning partnering up with them. Jenn is such a bitch, she goads him and then gets all pissed when he snaps back at her.

Kim Burgess: She just asked me if he still talks about her. I told her no!

Maggie O'Neill: To be fair you are telling her the truth.

* * *

Kayla Sharpe: So, some red velvet cupcakes seem to have appeared in my locker. Can I assume it's you or should I be concerned that I have a random stalker who likes to leave me sweet treats?

Maggie O'Neill: You need to get a better padlock because that one was far too easy to pick. They are an apology gift. I shouldn't have tried to give you unsolicited advice.

Kayla Sharpe: Yea you shouldn't have.

Maggie O'Neill: Am I forgiven?

Kayla Sharpe: It depends on how good these cupcakes are. Also can you get me a new lock?

* * *

Sean Roman: I am begging you to switch shifts with me tomorrow.

Maggie O'Neill: What on earth makes you think that I would want to deal with Jenn?

Sean Roman: I will give you whatever you want. That is literally how demented she is making me right now.

Maggie O'Neill: Next time we ride together I want to wear your sunglasses.

Sean Roman: Aw come on Maggie, you know how expensive they are.

Maggie O'Neill: You said anything. How can you put a cost on your own sanity?

Sean Roman: You promise you'll be careful with them?

Maggie O'Neill: Jesus Roman, I'm not a toddler. I think I know how not to break a pair of sunglasses.

Sean Roman: Fine. Your shift starts at 10am tomorrow.


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie takes care of Eva and Diego.

It was the crying that woke Maggie. She had been alone and fast asleep, tangled up in Antonio's bed sheets when those low terrified whimpers had pierced the veil of sleep. Her heart was pounding against her ribs as she surveyed the room in disorientation, her mind actively seeking out the source of the offending sound. She'd left the ajar before she'd come to bed in case one of the kids needed anything, now she was glad she had the forethought to do such a thing.

Her blue eyes were blurred from sleep as she stripped away the sheets from her weary form, looking down at herself to ensure she was appropriately dressed. Deeming her black tank top and grey sweats fine, she took those first steps outside of Antonio's bedroom and onto the landing. The other two rooms were just down the hall from theirs and she could already tell who the perpetrator was without having to lay eyes upon them. She paused for a moment outside of Diego's bedroom, she twisted the handle before peeking her head in through the small gap that she had created.

Diego's room was dark save for the small yellow nightlight that lit up the ceiling like a sea of stars. She had been surprised when Antonio had first purchased it but when he had plugged the illumination in she had been astonished by it's brilliance. It was like a galaxy was shining upon the ceiling above them. The perfect gift for his son who was utterly obsessed by the concept of space.

Maggie's eyes came to rest on the small single bed pressed up against the left wall by the window. Diego's quivering form was curled up into the fetal position in the center of the constellations themed covers. The sheets were drawn up around his shoulders, covering everything save for those dark eyes of his as he peered back at her, his eyes glistening.

"Hey." Maggie said softly, before stepping into the room and closing the door gently behind her as not to wake up Eva.

Diego said nothing as Maggie took a seat on the edge of the mattress, her hands pressed between her knees, maintaining a safe enough distance and proximity to make the young boy feel secure.

"Bad dreams?" she asked him, tilting her head in his general direction as Diego wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. The young boy nodded before, pulling the sheets away from his face to view Maggie as she sat there in the dark.

She didn't want to question him, she thought that the pushing made it worse somehow and she didn't want him to relive the nightmares that plagued his dreams. It was bad enough that the monsters had once visited his waking world and given him something to be scared about. This was a new place for him, a strange place and she understood that he would be unsettled here especially without either of his parents to anchor his insecurities. She didn't want to tell him that his father shared the same set of fears.

Antonio's dreams were tainted by the memories of his son's abduction, the anxiety of that time riled up inside him sometimes and she had awoken him several times over the past couple of months from the nightmares that plagued him. It was those nights that the two of them would stay up talking. Antonio would nestle against her body, their legs entangled, his face buried in her hair as she hummed under her breath. Her fingers would comb lightly through his dark hair until she felt her lover's breathing even out once more as he slipped into sleep. She wasn't sure what it was about the old Irish lullaby, her mother had used to sing to her as a child but it always seemed to relax Antonio and she was glad for that.

"My dad says that you have them sometimes too." Diego spoke for the first time since she had entered the room. His words surprised Maggie but on some level she understood why Antonio had disclosed that secret to his son. Bad dreams were a normal after a traumatic event and to understand that adults suffered to would give Diego confidence that he would not be viewed as a child for expressing the fact he suffered from them.

"I do." Maggie admitted shuffling backwards until her back was against the wall, she drew her knees up so that her elbows were resting on them as she spoke. "I went through some scary stuff when I was away."

"Like what happened to me?" Diego questioned, his voice piqued with interest at the thought that there was someone in the world who got what had had been through.

"It was different." Maggie informed him with a kindly look. "But I know what it's like to wake up scared."

"Sometimes I think I'm still there." Diego said quietly, pulling himself into a sitting position against the headboard. "Still tied to that chair when they make me do that video for my dad."

It was a vivid image, one that made Maggie's throat tight and her chest literally ache at the thought of that this child had been through. She couldn't imagine how terrified he must have been in that situation.

"The men that hurt you..." Maggie began as she frowned trying to search for the right words. "...they're gone and there is no way anyone can ever hurt you like that again. Your safe here, with Eva and your dad."

"And you." Diego reminded her pointedly, settling back down into the bed.

"And me." Maggie assured him with a firm nod, drawing the covers up to his chin and tucking them in around him. "If you need anything I'm just down the hall."

Diego nodded drowsily, his dark eyelashes already beginning to flutter closed as he watched the movement of the stars on the ceiling. Maggie moved quietly towards the door and slipping through it quietly before finding herself face to face with Antonio.

His clean shaven features were grizzled and rough tonight, a dusting of stubble framed his jaw line giving him a dangerous edge that she usually found irresistible. His dark eyes were on hers, deep and soulful as he took her hand and led her to their bedroom, shutting the door silently behind them. His warm hands encompassed her delicate features, his finely sculptured lips brushed along her hairline before he pressed a butterfly kiss to her forehead.

"Thank you." he murmured, tilting her head up until their gaze was level.

She could see her entire universe in those eyes of his, there was nothing she wouldn't give him if he asked and he knew he never needed to. The exhaustion was beginning to show on those handsome features of his and she could tell from the way his shoulders dipped that he was dog tired.

Maggie reached for the hem of his shirt, drawing it up along his broad chest as he held his arms up to assist her motions. His dark brown eyes stayed fixed on hers the whole time as she helped to remove the rest of his clothes, leaving him clad in fitted black boxer shorts. There was something so intimate stirring between the two of them right now, Maggie could feel it shifting in the air as her fingertips trailed along the white rivets that marred his chest. Her palm came to rest upon the space where his heart beat in his chest. Antonio covered her small hand with his, clasping her hand against his chest so she could feel each and every individual beat underneath her fingertips.

"I can never tell you how much I appreciate all that you've done tonight." He told her earnestly. "For me and the kids."

A small smile graced Maggie's pert pink lips before she pressed the gentlest of kisses to Antonio's mouth and led his weary form to bed.


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kim Burgess is shot in the line of duty.

_**Maggie O'Neill: I changed my mind, I want a new deal. One where I don't have to listen to her droning on and on and on.** _

_**Sean Roman: Too late, you made your bed, you get to listen to her for the next twelve hours.** _

_**Maggie O'Neill: I thought she'd at least mellow if you weren't around to fight with.** _

_**Sean Roman: There is no mellow with Jenn. It's always zero to sixty.** _

_**Maggie O'Neill: Did you really punch her father in law in the face?** _

_**Sean Roman: That wasn't who I was trying to hit... I'm gonna sign off now.** _

Jenn Cassidy had a way of making people's lives a living hell, Maggie wasn't sure if it was a gift that she was born with or a personality trait she had developed over the years. Either way she inches away from reaching over into the back seat and strangling the other woman. Maggie liked to think that she had great self control, it had served her well in her history as an undercover officer, however there were some people that just managed to hit all of her buttons and Jenn was apparently that person. Her jaw was literally aching from the amount of teeth grinding she had been doing over the past eight hours, she literally did not remember a time that Jenn hadn't been talking and all of it was about Roman.

Both Kim and her had heard so many stories about him over the past few hours Maggie felt like she'd read his biography, a bad one, written by someone who hated him. Although Kim had mentioned to her discreetly that she didn't think that Jenn actually did hate him. They had apparently been on a 'break' before Roman had transferred out to avoid issues with the fraternization rules. He had made a big gesture to show how committed he was to their relationship so that the two of them could move forward without it being some big secret. Instead Jenn had cut and run and was apparently engaged to another man two weeks later.

"And then he had the indecency to accuse me of cheating..." Jenn persisted as Kim pulled the squad car over in front of the last address on their list.

"An accusation means that there's a possibility of it being unfounded." Maggie responded distractedly as she focused on tapping out another message to Antonio on her cell phone. A strained silence fell over the the squad car and Maggie realised that it was the first time she had heard such a blissful sound today.

She glanced up from her phone to see Kim staring at her with an expression of unadulterated horror before her gaze switched Jenn's facial features were contorting in a manner Maggie would describe as unladylike. It took a moment to realise what had happened, she must have said what she had been thinking out loud. She thought about apologizing for the slip but the truth was she didn't want to. She'd been listening to Jenn bitch about Roman all day and had kept her mouth shut and she simply couldn't do it anymore.

"You got engaged literally two weeks after you went on a'break' so I'm not sure how you can tell me there wasn't an overlap there." Maggie twisted in her seat once more so that she was facing the other woman, her cobalt eyes cold and her tone glacial as she spoke. "And don't tell me this thing you had with Sean was just a fling so it doesn't count. He was made a big show of commitment and you blew it off because you had something better going on. That's your loss not his."

Maggie didn't even wait to hear Jenn's response instead she undid her seat belt and opened up her car door before stepping out onto the sidewalk. Kim followed suit, meeting her gaze over the top of the car and mouthing the word "wow" as she shut it. Maggie pulled a humorous face to express her own surprise before Jenn's car door opened.

"He's fucking you isn't he?" Maggie's head spun around so fast at the accusation she made herself dizzy. She stared at Jenn as the other woman rounded the back of the squad car and squared up to her. Those hazel eyes of hers were blazing with fury as they stood toe to toe, Jenn's fists clenched by her sides. To own surprise as well as everyone else's Maggie laughed. She couldn't help it, the idea was so ridiculous it tickled her entirely. Sean was a good looking man and he did have that boxer's physique that she tended to lean towards but they were stupidly incompatible. He was too brash for her, his manner too abrupt and plaintive. Roman was literally what you see is what you get. She knew it was the same for him, her humor was too dark for him and he had told her on more than one occasion that he respected Antonio for the amount of patience he had to have dating her.

"Trust me when I say there is no way the two of them would be sleeping together." Kim put in as she leaned against the bonnet of the car, a grin still fixed to her beauteous features at the suggestion. "She's with Dawson from Intelligence and he's in deep with..."

Kim caught herself just before the name rolled out. She clamped her lips together before hooking her thumbs in her belt and shaking her head.

"It doesn't matter." Kim murmured before turning her back on them and heading up the steps to the house.

"So he is with someone?" Jenn questioned, grabbing Maggie's arm in a vice like grip as she turned to follow Kim.

"Not that it matters because you are too." Maggie retorted, snatching her arm back, her foot coming to rest on the first step before Kim pressed the button for the doorbell.

The gunshot was instantaneous. The loud noise had barely penetrated Maggie's ears before the impact hit Kim's body and sent her careening backwards down the stairs. Her head hit the smooth concrete with a echoing crack as Maggie tugged the Glock out of it's holster and pointed it directly at the door. Jenn was by her wise in a second, between them they worked in silence dragging Kim, by the vest to the right of the door and away from any possible follow up. There was blood everywhere, Jenn had already holstered her weapon and stripping away Kim's bulletproof vest in an attempt to seek out the source of the bleeding as Maggie barked words into the radio clipped to the shoulder of her own vest.

"10-1, officer down! 3316 West 21st Street, my partner's been shot."


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin and Maggie discuss the shooting.

Maggie could still feel the blood on her hands as she stared at the interior of her open locker. No matter how much she scrubbed she couldn't seem to wash it from her flesh. The skin from her wrists down was red raw and vibrant from the boiling hot water and repeated use of soap. She was now sitting on the wooden bench in the locker room, her hands pressed between her knees as if in prayer as the events played through her head like a movie, forcing her to relive them over and over again.

There was anger burning down deep inside her, she could feel it coiling in the pit of her stomach as sat there in her black sports bra trying to grit her teeth and stop her hands from trembling. The shakes had started not long after she'd torn the bloody shirt from her body and tossed it at the trash. The adrenaline that had with her through her time at the scene and then the hospital had ebbed leaving nothing more than a hollowed out husk. Kim's life was out of her hands now, Doctor Rhodes had promised to call her as soon as he'd finished up with Kim in surgery but it would be hours before that happened so instead she simply sat here trying to ride through the shock that was vibrating in her system.

The door to the locker room opened and Maggie pressed her knees together even tighter in a bid to hide the quiver of her hands as Kevin Atwater entered the room. His hazel eyes came to rest on her before she tilted up her head and jutted out her chin as if prepared for a fight. He had been Kim's partner before her and before Roman, there was a bond between him and Kim that could not be broken despite his transfer to Intelligence. Ruzek blamed her for what happened, he had made that clear when he had told her to leave the hospital. So why wouldn't Kevin? She admitted she had been distracted in the time before Kim was shot. Jenn and her squabbling over Roman which seemed even more insane now when she thought about it.

"I just wanted to check in, see how you were doing." Kevin murmured, that deep voice of his full of compassion as he reviewed the dainty patrol officer in front of him.

In circumspect he hadn't known Maggie long but she was good police, he had seen her work during the Asher Rosalyn investigation and it had been inspiring to say the least. The way she had become a completely different person astounded him, he almost hadn't recognized her when she'd stepped in wearing that lace dress with shorter hair. Everything from her appearance to her mannerisms was different and he knew that that ability wasn't something you learned. It was a gift.

He had heard things about her past, the rumor mill was always rife around the station house especially when a new cop transferred knew about her father and his reputation as a lady's man despite the fact he was married. In the beginning a few of the patrolmen had assumed she would follow in his footsteps but Kevin himself had seen that wasn't true. Maggie was fiercely loyal to the people close to her, he'd seen it in the way she'd defended Antonio when someone had dared to suggest he had taken Rosalyn's diamonds. The way her and Kim put up a unified front in front of Platt when she was in one of her hideous moods and now he saw it in the way she mourned their friend. Kim wasn't gone but her life was in danger and he could sense the fear of that knowledge raising up inside of him like a cobra ready to strike. He knew if he wavered then he would be useless to Kim when it came to tracking down the perpetrator so he tried to remain clear headed and focused.

He wanted Maggie to know he didn't blame her for what had happened, he knew that any other day it could have been any of them in that spot. He'd been to the scene and cataloged the events as he stood there on the stoop, there wasn't anything that he would have done differently but he understood that when you were in that position you couldn't necessarily see the wood from the trees.

"It's like a nightmare you know?" Maggie said raising to her feet as she plunged her hand into her locker and pulled out a slate grey shirt and pulled it on over her head. "I keep seeing it over and over again in my head. Gunshot, fall, blood."

"Yea I know what you mean." Atwater said, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned his shoulders against the heavy blue lockers. "The house looks like it was set up to hurt cops or at least that's what Al says."

Maggie nodded her agreement, her cobalt blue eyes becoming distant as she relived those moments inside the house. The violent death metal music pounding in her ears as her boot caught on that tiny sliver of trip wire. There was a moment where she thought that was it, she was going to die at the hands of some psycho's booby-trap but the cop in her had won out over the panic and before she knew it she was following her instincts. She'd gotten low before allowing the trap to trigger, her left ear was still ringing like a bastard from the sheer force of the gun shot that had blasted over her head.

"What Al says is usually right." Maggie said before closing her locker and sighing loudly. "Kevin... Just say what you came here to say."

Atwater took in her demeanor with interest, her feet were apart in a defensive stance, her arms crossed over her chest and her pale features grimacing as she tore her gaze away from him so that she could study the floor beneath her boots. It took him a moment to realise that she expected a rebuke but that couldn't have been further from the truth. She had saved Kim's life today and then she had gone after the shooter, he couldn't fault that, he would have done the same thing, any of them would but he could see that Adam's words back at the hospital still pricked her like barbs under the skin. What Adam had said was cruel but he was grieving and afraid, the other man lived in the present. He was a hot head when it came to the people he cared about and he had vented all that rage and fear on Maggie before he had had all of the information. That didn't mean she should be carrying that guilt upon her shoulders, nobody should.

"I came to say thank you." Kevin said, searching for the words to make Maggie understand what he was trying to say. "What happened to Kim could have happened to any one of us out there and I'm glad she had you watching her back."

"Kevin..." Maggie began helplessly before he held up a hand to cut her off.

"You were a step behind her." he said forcefully, keeping his hazel eyes trained on her so she could read the seriousness in his face. "Literally a step. I could see your shoe print in the blood and I know that you did everything you could in that situation. I don't see anything that I would have done differently."

Maggie shook her own head at his words before she bit her pert lower lip, her brain running over the series of events over and over again. No matter how long she thought about it, she couldn't change what had happened today. There had been no other options for her to take, she had responded according to her training and Kim was a live right now because of it. She swallowed hard past the ache in her throat as she choked out the truth as she saw it.

"Neither do I."


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kayla steps up for Sean.

The hospital waiting room was quiet, quieter than Sean Roman had thought was possible. In all his years on the force he could count the amount of times he had sat in a waiting rooms just like this one on one hand. The first when his mother had died eight years ago in a car accident and the ones after had been circumstances similar to this. An officer injured in the line of duty, him and a few others sticking close to reassure the family or to just be there when the officer woke up, if they woke up. It was still touch and go on Kim, this would be her third hour in surgery without any news and it was beginning to wear on him. He was an impatient man at the best of times but waiting here like this was mind numbing.

This was his fault, at least part of it was. If he hadn't swapped shifts with Maggie he could have been there, he might of seen something she hadn't, might have been able to do something. Sean jammed his hands through his short blond hair as he exhaled deeply. He didn't understand how his life had begun to fall apart so quickly. It made his heart physically ache when he thought about the possibility of losing Kim, she was one of the only constants in his life. There was a weariness in his bones, it was a deep set exhaustion that had resided with him for the longest time. It weighted him down and dragged him under until he was lost in this sea of anguish.

He felt the person drop down into the seat beside of him as he rubbed his worn facial features with the palms of his hands. There were plenty of empty seats surrounding him so it irritated him that the person had chosen to occupy the seat next to him. He placed his right hand down on the armrest, clasping it so tightly, his knuckles went white with the pressure.

"Sean." she said his name tenderly, a familiar small hand came to rest upon his. Her slender fingers coming to rest in the groove of his knuckles. Sean inhaled deeply, the sweet scent of her jasmine perfume flooding his nostrils as he stared down at their joined hands. This was what he had wanted for such a long time and right now he couldn't believe that she was right here, along side him.

"Kayla..." he murmured, turning his head towards his lover so he could see her elegant features. Her doe brown eyes were downcast as her own gaze lingered on their entwined fingers as if she couldn't quite believe it herself. He knew what it took for her to actually reach out like this and it touched him in a way that he could never tell her. He thought he was weak because he craved human contact but Sean had been lonely for such a long time before Kayla and even the most fleeting of touches between them made him feel alive again.

"I'm sorry about Kim." Kayla said, her voice full of sorrow as the two of them sat there in the quiet waiting room. "Is there anything I can do?"

Sean shook his head, a sad smile crossing his features as he brought the back of Kayla's hand to his mouth, his lips brushed over her soft skin as he spoke.

"Just stay a while." he requested, those azure eyes of his taking in the profile of Kayla's graceful features before she turned her head to him, holding his earnest gaze with one of her own. "I don't think if I have it in me to do this alone right now.

There was agony in those azure eyes and it broke Kayla's heart to see him look so run down and defeated. The past few weeks had been hard on the both of them, she knew she was flawed, parts of her were broken and she didn't know how to fix them. However when she was with Sean she never felt like that, she felt whole, she became a better person, the person she believed that she was meant to be before her whole life had been derailed.

She had lost track of the amount of times she had picked up the phone over the past few days. There were reasons for the way she was and she thought maybe Maggie had been right when she had said that Sean needed to hear them. How he could ever think there was something wrong with him fazed her, she didn't know who made him believe that but she knew she hated them. He was the most caring and compassionate man she knew and she loved him, there was no question of that in her heart. The problem was she only had so much she could give, the pieces of herself were fractured and she was still trying to fill in those gaps the best she could. One day maybe she would be able to give everything to him but for now he would have to settle with everything she had.

"I'll stay." she told him, resting her cheek upon his shoulder, her thumb ghosting along the outline of his hand reassuringly. "I'll stay as long as you need."


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie and Ruzek get into it over Kim's shooting.

The apartment building had once been a tall, redbricked house. Like many of the buildings on this block it had been a victim of gentrification. With the influx of people to the city rent needed to be affordable and Maggie could already see that these buildings gave way to a lot of space. The street was quiet for the time of day and she thanked God for small blessings, this guy already had a history for booby trapping buildings and it was clear at least to Maggie that he didn't give a crap about the causalities.

Maggie patted her fitted, black, bulletproof vest for the third time in as many minutes, her fingertips feeling for the etched sovereign of St Jude through material the tactical pocket on the right hand side. Her brother Gabriel had given the silver medallion of the Patron Saint of the CPD to her when she had graduated the academy and she always kept it in her vest for protection. Antonio had checked it's placement when he had helped strap her into her vest back at the station house.

"Look after her Jude." he had always said in the past when they were buckling up for trouble back in Vice. That aspect of their relationship was still the same years later and she liked the idea that there was some higher power up their watching out for her.

Ruzek was already ahead of her and Halstead as they marched towards the residence of Spencer York. He barely even glanced at her, despite the warm greeting he gave Jay. Maggie got it, she really did but his anger was missed place, if she had to bare the brunt of it she was fine with that so long as it didn't interfere with the job.

"York's got the second floor unit." Jay said, tilting his head up towards the line of windows there, scanning them for movement. "Everybody look sharp."

Maggie withdrew her Glock, her gaze taking in the detail of the red and black wooden steps in front of her. There were no immediate signs of entrapment but that didn't mean there weren't any. Back at the house Spencer York had set up a pressure switch under a bathroom tile so she was taking no chances this time.

Jay was in front, Maggie following closely behind him with Adam following up the rear, weapons drawn as they began that slow creep up the outdoor stair case. It was when Jay stepped upon the third step that the car behind them erupted with noise. They paused, all three of them turning to catch a glimpse of the shiny red Ford across the street with it's car alarm sounding and it's lights flashing. All of the windows were rolled down and the trunk was ajar as if begging someone to steal it.

"I'll check it out." Adam muttered, turning his attention towards the car.

Maggie's gut twisted at the possibilities as Adam took a step towards it, his gun raised as he reviewed it from all angles. Maggie turned her attention back to Jay as he removed his boot gingerly from the third step before placing his foot back down on the second.

"What is it?" she asked him as he crouched down, his fingertips running over the old wood.

"This step is loose." he told her before withdrawing a stiletto blade from one of the tactical pockets on his vest and hitting the button to release the blade. It turned out she wasn't the only one that Antonio had passed along the habit to. As gently as he could he pried away the red wooden slat off the third step allowing them access to the interior. There were wires there, they were connected to a circuit board that appeared to be fixed to the wooden support of the step.

"We need to call the bomb unit." Maggie told him, keeping her gun up high in order to cover Jay as he surveyed the bomber's handiwork. "This place could be wired to blow at any minute."

"There could be hostages inside." Jay argued, turning his baby blue eyes upon her.

It was ingrained in him, to leave no man behind but Maggie had seen the madness back in that house where Burgess had been shot. She knew instinctively that if they walked in there without the bomb squad they would not be walking back out. This guy did not take prisoners. She could see the cogs turning in Jay's head as he took in the details from the previous scene he had attended, the one where Voight had used the manual for the SUV to set off the vibration sensor. There was no gain from taking such a risk. In the end it was his call and she would back his play no matter what.

"I'm gonna call in the bomb squad." he decided, drawing away from the step.

Maggie holstered her weapon before turning to keep an eye on Ruzek, he was approaching the trunk of the car now, torch in one hand, gun in the other. The car alarm was still blaring, it vibrated in her ears piercing her brain in that way only shrill car alarms could. Ruzek was lifting up the lid of the trunk now and it was at that moment something clicked for Maggie. She lurched forward, yelling loudly, her voice carrying on the wind.

"Ruzek no..."

The explosion was instantaneous. Maggie felt the rush of heat hit her before she was hurled several feet through the air. A bellowing roar erupted in her ear drums as she brought her arms up to shield her face before she impacted on the road, skidding across the gravel. Her ears were ringing like crazy, the sound was stabbing through to her brain as she lay on her side, struggling to catch the breath that had just been smashed right out of her.

It hurt, the entire right of her body was aching in response from her contact with the ground. Her heart was beating a mile a minute in her chest, she could feel the palpations before closing her eyes against the mist of dust that was descending upon her. She didn't know how long she lay there in the aftermath of the explosion, it could only have been minutes but it felt like hours creeping by until her adrenaline finally kicked in and forced her to her feet.

Her cobalt eyes sought out Jay, who was unfurling from the crouch he had adopted during midst of the explosion. His baby blue eyes honed in on her as she stumbled to her feet, her palm coming to rest on the bonnet of Ruzek's car for support.

"You ok?" he yelled over the buzzing in her ears as Maggie's fingers once more sought out the St Jude medallion through the material of tactical vest and tapping it once in thanks.

"Yea." she responded, wincing in agony as she leaned against Ruzek's car for a moment trying to clear the spinning in her head. It was a white lie, every single muscle in her body was protesting against her movements but she could handle the pain, it reminded her that she was alive and that the blast could have turned out a whole lot differently.

"You ok?" she returned as Halstead rose to his full height before taking an inventory of himself and nodding.

They had been lucky, so damned lucky. She could see her thoughts reflected in Jay's eyes as the two of them stood there for a moment simply acknowledging the fact they were still here, living and breathing. Maggie followed Jay's gaze over her shoulder before it came to rest upon Ruzek who was hurrying towards them.

"Car was rigged." he informed them, his eyes coming to focus on the building that was now spewing flames and smoke. Already in the distance they could sirens wailing signalling the arrival of yet more emergency services.

"I know." Maggie responded, clutching her side as she peered at him darkly through her loose waves. "That's why I yelled 'No Ruzek'."

He rounded on her; she could see that bright fury in those intense coffee colored eyes of his. His body language was shifting; she could see that irate aggressive expression on his features as he paused inches away from her, getting in her face.

"So now you're Johnny on the spot?" he snarled jabbing his finger at her chest. "What happened last night?"

It was at that point Maggie snapped, she had been buckling under the weight of being Adam's target for over twelve hours now and she had decided enough was enough.

"You know what happened last night." she snapped, slapping his finger out of her face. That only seemed to infuriate Adam even more, his eyes were blazing right now as that grief and rage whipped up a storm inside of him.

"Why wasn't it you?" he barked at her, pointing at her once more. "Why weren't you the one lying in that hospital bed fighting for your life?"

"I was a step behind her Adam." Maggie echoed Atwater's words, smacking Ruzek's hand away again. "One step."

Halstead was forcing his way between the two of them. Maggie found herself staring at his lean back as he inserted himself into the small gap between her and Ruzek, forcing Maggie to take a step back.

"Take a walk Ruzek." Jay commanded, physically grasping the other man's shoulder and turning him in the opposite direction.

"It should have been you." Ruzek spat, thrusting his finger at Maggie once more.

"I said take a walk." Jay ordered, practically shoving the other man in the opposite direction. This time Ruzek complied, his steely gaze set straight ahead as a head paced to where the uniforms were setting up barriers to block traffic coming down the street.

"You need to get yourself checked out by the paramedics." Jay informed Maggie as he turned his attention back towards her, his eyes running over her body in an analytical manner.

"I'm fine." she responded, waving her hand dismissively.

"I saw how hard you hit the ground." Jay informed her, holding up his hand and signaling to the paramedics who were just exiting their ambulance before speaking more forcefully."This is not a request."


	46. Chapter 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Texts between the gang at the precinct.

Sean Roman: Hey. I've got some good news :) Burgess is awake and talking.

Maggie O'Neill: That's great news! You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that! Is everything ok with her?

Sean Roman: She's now demanding donuts so I'd say everything was back to normal.

Maggie O'Neill: I will bring her the biggest box she has ever seen once things are wrapped up here.

Sean Roman: I heard you caught the guy.

Maggie O'Neill: Halstead caught the guy at the scene we were at earlier but he keeps just spouting out the same thing over and over again. So far we're still working on getting a location on the wife.

Sean Roman: Good luck with that. Kayla's on the phone to Ruzek, so I'm just warning you he's gonna be shooting off in the next few minutes.

Maggie O'Neill: Thanks for letting me know. Will I see you at the hospital later?

Sean Roman: Wild horses couldn't drag me away.

* * *

Jay Halstead: Burgess just woke up!

Erin Lindsey: That is the best news I've heard all day! I just wish I could have been there with you guys.

Jay Halstead: We miss you too! How's Washington?

Erin Lindsey: Awful, the bureaucratic bullshit is terrible. I'm starting to think I made a mistake.

Jay Halstead: Your spots still open. Just saying.

Erin Lindsey: That create problems for the two of us.

Jay Halstead: If your not happy right now, I'm not happy. We can figure the rest out as it comes.

Erin Lindsey: Can we talk more when I get back?

Jay Halstead: Let me know when your flight gets in, I'll pick you up.

* * *

Jenn Cassidy: Sean, I know your mad but we need to talk.

Sean Roman: I've got nothing left to say to you.

Jenn Cassidy: Tell me you didn't feel it too, when I kissed you before...

Sean Roman: You mean assaulted me.

Jenn Cassidy: Kissed you... Didn't you feel that spark?

Sean Roman: I think you mean revulsion.

Jenn Cassidy: Why are you being such an ass about this?

Sean Roman: I'm an ass?! One of my friends has just been shot and you decide to make a move, while my girlfriend is in the next room I might add.

Jenn Cassidy: Girlfriend? Trust me you can do better than a paramedic. I'll give you that she's pretty but I'm guessing she's not the brightest bulb in the bunch.

Sean Roman: You are fucking unbelievable. Lose my number, I don't want to hear from you ever again.

CONTACT BLOCKED: Jenn Cassidy

* * *

Al Olinsky: Hey, I heard you got caught up in that explosion, just wanted to check in and see how you were doing?

Maggie O'Neill: Bumps and bruises, my ears are still ringing though. Gabby said it'll fade in the next couple of hours.

Al Olinsky: Good, you need anything just holler.

Maggie O'Neill: You know I will.

* * *

Gabby Dawson: Hey, how are you feeling?

Maggie O'Neill: Ears are still ringing and I ache like hell but otherwise pretty good considering.

Gabby Dawson: Definitely good considering! I'm just letting you know my brother's just been on the phone. He wanted a detailed report on your injuries from the explosion.

Maggie O'Neill: So downplaying it is out of the question?

Gabby Dawson: I would say so. He does it out of love so don't be too hard on him. x

* * *

Nadia Decotis: Just checking in to make sure your ok? I heard Burgess got shot during a house call.

Trudy Platt: I can't believe that you guys have heard about that already. She's up and talking but she will be off duty for the next month or two for recuperation and rehab.

Nadia Decotis: We have the same training officer, Samantha Gibbons. I'll update her about Burgess's condition. Are you ok?

Trudy Platt: Better now I know they got the bastard. I'll give you a call after shift.

* * *

Antonio Dawson to Maggie O'Neill: Observation Room. ASAP.


	47. Chapter 47

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Antonio and Maggie spend a moment together in the aftermath of the blast.

Antonio was already waiting for her in the observation room when Maggie slipped through the door, closing it quietly behind her. His strong hands were resting on the back of a metal chair, his knuckles practically white with the force in which he was clenching it. Already she could see the apprehension in his handsome features as his dark eyes reviewed her from across the room drinking in her essence. She knew he was taking a mental inventory, his keen analytical eyes cataloging everything about her, from that ugly graze on her right cheek to the way she favored her left side.

"I'm ok." she said holding her hands up in mock surrender as he took purposeful strides towards her.

"Are you?" he asked her pointedly, his warm hand cupping her right cheek as his thumb lightly caressed the vivid red graze that marred her pale skin.

"Banged up." she answered him honestly, her pert pink lips pressing a delicate kiss to the pulse point on his wrist. "A little shaken but I'm coping."

"Good." he nodded before closing the distance between them. He was well within her proximity now, their clothes brushing as he stared directly into her eyes. "I just needed to see it for myself."

Maggie said nothing as Antonio's mouth lingered so tentatively close to hers. Her eyes were on his lips as he spoke. She could feel each individual breath he took as his words hung in the air between them. She didn't know what to say, she couldn't find the words he needed to hear. There was only this anticipation stirring up between them.

He had almost lost her today. It was the nature of their job, he knew that and now he was getting a taste of the fear that Laura had felt when he strapped on his holster and walked out of the door every day. The job was Maggie's life as much as it was his own. It had been like a punch in the chest when Antonio had heard about that scene today, despite the fact she'd escaped with minor injuries it had still rattled him. Deep down in his core Antonio had to admit he was scared, he didn't know what life he would lead if Maggie was ever snatched away. She was still right here underneath his hands though, she was banged up and bruised but otherwise she was ok, and he knew he had to keep that in focus. He could go crazy thinking about all the things that could happen to her in their line of work. He had known from the very beginning that falling love was about taking responsibility for someone else.

His firm hands came to rest on her hips pulling her gently against his muscular frame. His lips were desperate and demanding as he sought out her mouth, the tip of his tongue diving into that hot wet cavern. She tasted the same as always and he took refuge in that knowledge as she parted her lips allowing him deeper access to the confines of her mouth. Her noises were encouraging and greedy as her hands smoothed over the front of his T-shirt, rubbing the broad muscles underneath. Her body was alight with his brief touch as he kissed her. Her flesh was prickling with anticipation as she devoured his mouth sinfully. It was impossible to explain how much she ached for him right now. Her fingers delved into the recesses of his shirt, her fingertips tracing the pattern of his ribs lightly, her thumb gliding over one of those ragged bullet holes leaving Antonio panting and dizzy.

"Maggie." he muttered, drawing away from his lover unwillingly.

As much as he wanted to start something with her right now he was very much aware of the location. They were in a commonly used room in their station house, it would only be a matter of minutes before someone body walked in and they both didn't need to be written up for having sex on work time in their work environment. No matter how much he wanted to bend her over that table and make her forget every single bad thing that had ever happened to her.

"Work, work, work..." she mumbled to herself in an attempt to chase away the dirty, sexy thoughts that were rolling through her mind. She traced a finger along the line of her swollen lips as she watched Antonio rearrange himself through his dark denim jeans to conceal that throbbing erection. He glanced up and physically shuddered as he watched her action, his colored eyes darkening in that deviant manner of his.

"You need to leave." he told her, his voice low and husky .

She was turning him on even more and the wicked minx in her wanted to throw caution to the wind and climb on top of him until he was screaming her name. There was something so sensual in the way he looked at her and she knew that this risque attitude of theirs was a symptom to how close they had come to losing one another. She needed Antonio to know how she felt and she knew that showing him that would sooth everyone of those rampant fears that were rushing through his body.

It wasn't the right time for this yet, they still had a woman to save, someone else whose life hung in the balance.

"I'm gonna..." she said indicating to the door with her thumb.

"I'm gonna need a minute." he informed her with a wolfish smile, looking pointedly down at his clothed erection.

"So I'll catch up with you later." Maggie grinned, her hand reaching for the door handle. Antonio's expression turned sultry as those eyes of his darkened once more in arousal.

"You can bet on it."


	48. Chapter 48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie walks into a trap.

It was a trap, Maggie had known that long before any of them had entered the building. Those screams though, those frantic, hoarse screams from Susanna Warren, that was what had driven Voight, Jay and herself to enter the building. The bomb squad was ten minutes behind them and deep down somewhere inside herself Maggie knew that they didn't have that kind of time. Voight felt it too, she could see it in the those opaque black eyes as he surveyed the building. She could see the decision was made from the way that his shoulders were set as his fingertips guided the door handle downwards, allowing the door to open just the slightest bit.

She'd turned to glance at Antonio then. Her lover was was standing over ten feet away, his gun trained on the windows above ground level. He was wearing his leather jacket over his vest, the one that clung to everything in just the right way. She paused for a moment, remembering what it was like to be gathered up in those muscular arms of his, shielded from the rest of the world. She wished she was there right now and that this wasn't happening but it was and Maggie had to face that reality. His dark gaze lowered to hers, his eyebrows furrowing into a frown as he read the situation the same way she had. His sensuous lips clamped down into a grim line as his gaze slid from her to the building and then back to her again. He lifted his hand before balling it into a fist and tapping it twice on the bullet proof vest just over the space where his heart resided.

_Love you._

It was a gesture him and the kids had started when Laura picked them up from Antonio's place. Once they were in the car, Antonio would rap his knuckles against his chest and the kids would respond in kind. Maggie placed her fist against her chest before returning the gesture.

_Love you too._

* * *

The music was deafening, it erupted into the room abruptly causing everyone who was in motion to freeze in place. Maggie could feel her heart thudding like a jack hammer in her chest as her cobalt blue gaze came to rest on Hank Voight. One of his feet was on the floor, on top of a tan colored covering spattered with paint. His forehead was creased as he stared down at the offending item, his jaw clenched in a quiet and dignified rage. It took Maggie a second to calm the panic that was beginning to creep in through the recesses of her mind, that icy cold fear was back and she shoved it away valiantly. She couldn't fall to pieces at the final hurdle, Voight was clearly stuck, that meant Susanna needed her now more than ever.

The music was loud, shrieking and constant, the same way it had been back at the first house and Maggie couldn't help but think there were more similarities between the two events than one may think at first glance. The pressure switch underneath Voight's boot was meant to trigger the music, which was in turn was meant to disorientate and terrorize them. Frightened people made mistakes and that's what Spencer York wanted.

"What the hell was that?" Antonio's voice called out over the radio, followed by that familiar crackling as he released the button on his radio.

"I don't want anyone else coming up here." Voight barked into the radio, his foot never leaving the pressure switch.

"The bomb squad have just rolled up." Antonio stated, leaving Maggie feeling slightly more reassured by their plight. At least they would have an actual professional on the other side of the radio so that they could diffuse the bomb that was strapped to Susanna's chest. Already she could see there was no way they could come in here right now, not with the way this place was set up.

"Tell Dwyer the place is rigged." Voight relayed to the other man over the channel.

The light above them flickered before shutting off completely along with the music. The three of them stood there in silence for a moment, acclimating to the darkness before Susanna Webber let out a shrill cry that sent Maggie's hackles raising. The emergency lights blinked for a second before kicking in and illuminating the room dimly.

"I believe he's messing with us." Maggie muttered, closing her eyes for a brief second against the harsh, brightness of the light.

"You there Hank? Tell me what you see." Dwyer's familiar voice cascaded over the radio.

"He's got C-4 taped to her body." Voight informed the bomb disposal expert. "He's set up this whole this whole perimeter around her."

It was more like a light show with lasers, Maggie thought. Something you'd see in one of those old James Bond movies... Which gave her an idea.

"I need you to find the trigger. I'm showing no receivers or transmitters checking in, so it's either on the bomb or it's wired to it." Dwyer told them as Jay shuffled around the edge of the scaffolding keeping the green laser pointers in place. "Now, can you get past the perimeter?"

"We can only get so far." Voight remarked, the disappointment showing in the tone of his voice as he looked back at Susanna.

"He put something on my back." she told them, her eyes going wide as she stared back at Voight. "Could that be it?"

"Could be the trigger." Voight said out loud, nodding his head at Jay, who began to move slowly around the scaffolding towards Susanna's back.

"No." she yelled out, her body beginning to tremble as both Maggie and Jay began the approach once more.

"Susanna." Maggie said her name kindly as she holstered her weapon and took a step forward. "I want you to keep your eyes on me for a minute can you do that?"

Susanna nodded vigorously as tears began to leak from the edges of her eyes. Her body was beginning to tremble and Maggie could already see that the fear was beginning to win out in the other woman as her eyes began to dart once more her breathing coming out in ragged pants.

"Susanna." Maggie said snapping her fingers to draw the other woman's attention. "Look at me. Keep your eyes focused on me."

Jay was talking in the background but Maggie tuned him out, her priority right now was this woman and making sure that she stayed calm and in exactly the right place. Halstead was moving again and Susanna could feel it, Maggie could see the indecision flitting across her eyes as hysteria began to take hold once more.

"We're all gonna die." she cried, sending a shiver straight down Maggie's spine as she fought to control her own panic rising up in the depths of her chest.

"Nobody is going to die." Maggie spoke with a confidence she didn't feel. Susanna hung her head for a moment as tears streaked down her cheeks, her lank hair hanging over her features. Beyond her Jay held up his hand signalling to Maggie the next port of call. In her head Maggie knew that the lasers weren't dangerous but that familiar sensation of dread was back, gnawing at her stomach. She swallowed hard against the bile in her throat before thrusting her hand through it at the count of one.

Susanna screamed, leaving every single one of Maggie's nerves jingling as Halstead nodded and the two of them stepped through the lasers inside the perimeter.

"Susanna." Maggie shushed as Jay pointed to the block of C4 taped with duct tape to the center of the other woman's chest. "Look at me."

Maggie's hand clasped the C4 tightly, holding it in place as she met Susanna's exhausted eyes, her voice calm as she spoke.

There was apprehension in her chest, she could feel it building as she held the plastic block in the palm of her hand, keeping it as steady as possible.

"Hey, hey. You're with me and we are gonna be okay." she reinforced, her gaze locked firmly on Susanna's as Jay reached between the two of them. It took him a second to remove the blasting caps from the device before he reached behind Susanna and stopped the timer with his forefinger.

The relief was momentous. Maggie felt herself exhaling deeply as her heart continued to thud like a sledge hammer in her chest. Despite what she'd said to Susanna, she had been terrified of the outcome and she could tell from the slight tremor in Jay's hand as he thrust it into his jacket pocket that he had too.

Apparently that's what happened when you had something to lose.


	49. Chapter 49

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kim and Maggie talk about the shooting.

The light was dim in Kim's room, the overhead illumination had been turned off and the bedside lamp had been switched on. Kim was propped up in bed, reading from one of the gossip magazines that Maggie had seen in the gift shop earlier. She glanced up as Maggie entered, a gracious smile crossing those full lips of hers as she pressed a finger to her mouth and tilted her head towards Ruzek who was curled up in one of the visitor's chairs. His shaggy blond hair fell over his features making him look almost boyish as Maggie paused, watching the rise and fall of his chest.

It had been a tough twenty four hours for the young cop, sometimes she forgot he was still a kid himself in some ways. He had been hand picked straight from the academy, the emotional intelligence you learned from walking the beat wasn't ingrained into him yet. It didn't make him bad, it made him different and Maggie found herself letting go of all the animosity she had harbored towards him throughout the duration of this case. Kim was important to him and Maggie knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of that grief when it came crashing down upon your shoulders. He'd done his best with the knowledge he had at the time and she didn't blame him for lashing out at her.

Maggie stepped up to Kim's bedside, her gaze falling upon the half eaten hospital food sitting on the small table across her partner's knees before she used the pink box in her hand to push it away.

"Donuts from Burt's." Maggie informed the other woman, a small smile tugging at her lips as Kim's amber eyes lit up.

Considering she had been shot, the other woman still looked like a super model. Her silky brown hair tumbled over her shoulders, framing her attractive features. Maggie could see how Ruzek could fall in love with the other woman. There was something about Kim that was so innocent sometimes, she saw the best in very one but she was a hardass when she needed to be. She was glad that the other woman was her partner and her friend, Kim had welcomed her in a way she had never expected and the notion itself was selfless. She couldn't stand the idea of not having the other woman in her life.

All the emotion that she had been holding back over the past twenty four hours tumbled to the surface and Maggie was horrified to find hot salty tears leaking down her cheeks. Kim's lips parted in surprise before she set the magazine down on top of the donut box. Her left hand reaching out and grasping Maggie's bicep in a vice like grip before she pulled her into a sisterly embrace. Maggie gingerly wrapped her arms around her partner, her chin resting on Kim's good shoulder as she held her tightly.

"I'm sorry." Maggie whispered as she clutched the other woman close. "I'm just so glad your ok."

"So am I." Kim murmured as Maggie drew away with a shaky laugh as she used the back of her hand to wipe away the tears under her shiny blue eyes. "Then again I get Burt's so this day's getting better for me already."

Kim was already reaching for the donut box, she flicked it open with eager hands before selecting a donut with pink icing and rainbow colored sprinkles on.

"You have to hide these when Will comes around." Maggie warned her with a knowing look. "He'll eat them under the guise of confiscating them."

"I'm on to him." Kim informed her partner, before biting into the donut, a sated look crossing her sightly features. "You have no idea how good it is to have one of these."

"I may have eaten my own box of them on the way here." Maggie informed her, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly.

"Nobody believes me when I tell them how much you stress eat." Kim told her, her forehead creasing as her eyebrows curved into a frown, she was pointing the donut at Maggie as she spoke.

Maggie shrugged her shoulders in response to the comment, it was true when she was pushed to her limit she ate every single carb in sight. She was just ridiculously thankful that she had a partner that liked to get up early in the morning to go for a run before work otherwise she'd be waddling after perps.

"Is there anything you need?" Maggie asked as Kim finished off the donut before she picked up a napkin to wipe the glazing from her fingertips.

"My Kindle and the charger. I left it in my locker when we were on shift. If you could bring it tomorrow I would really appreciate it." Kim said softly, her voice dipping as she sagged back onto her pillow, her eyes starting to droop.

"I'll bring it by in the morning before shift." Maggie murmured, her fingers curling around Kim's left hand before she squeezed it lightly. "Relax and get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow."


	50. Chapter 50

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie and Antonio share a moment.

There was something so delicious to Antonio about the way Maggie was looking at him. His beautiful lover was laying amongst his fresh sage colored sheets, beckoning for him to join her with that mischievous smile of hers. Those cobalt eyes darkened as he stripped his light grey v neck shirt from his broad physique enticingly. The past twenty four hours had him running on adrenaline, he had lost count of the amount of times he'd wanted to take her to one side and show her just how happy he was that she wasn't first through that door the other night.

Antonio climbed onto the bed, licking his lips like a predator, his firm body hovering just over Maggie's naked skin so that the two of them were barely touching. Her clever fingertips chased up the curve of his spine as they melded together, his hard cock teasing her moist core through their underwear as he buried his face into the curve of her throat. His demanding lips peppered her pale skin with greedy kisses before he began to work his way even lower. His head dipped to her naked breasts, his molten hot tongue flicking out and grazing over her erect nipple, causing Maggie to cry out in pleasure as he sucked it lightly into his mouth. Her hips arched against his, the friction driving Antonio crazy as she ground against him desperately, struggling to maintain the contact against him.

Antonio rose his eyes, watching Maggie's rapturous features as his mouth progressed to her other breast, repeating the same action. Jesus he wanted to taste her so badly right now, he wanted Maggie quivering and begging for release against his tongue. Every little sigh and whimper that rang in his ears was heaven and it only reinforced what every single aspect of him already knew. This was about her and making her understand that he couldn't live without her.

Antonio lowered his mouth to her moist panties, his warm breath ghosting across her in her thighs causing Maggie to squirm against him at the delirious sensation. His hands slipped underneath her, cupping her ass firmly in his palms before he pressed his mouth to her clothed bundle of nerves and kissed her right there. Her nails raked across his shoulders as she gasped his name out loud.

It was music to Antonio's ears and all the encouragement he needed. His deft fingers dragged her cotton panties down along those lithe thighs so he could caress her sweet core once more. His tongue flickered over her most intimate area causing Maggie to writhe in ecstasy as he continued his teasing. Her ragged breathing was like a symphony to him and he took direction from the hitches and moans that escaped her. She was so delicious he couldn't get enough of her. He knew he was driving her crazy, it was in the way she said his name as he drove her to her peak.

"Antonio." she whimpered as he held her on the very edge of climax.

The desperate desire in her voice was enough to almost fracture his control, he had never heard such yearning before, such want. Her skin was flushed with impending rapture, her cobalt eyes bright with arousal as she looked down at him. Maggie felt that consuming surge of excitement and anticipation as he reached into his night stand and removed a condom. It took seconds for him to apply it from tip to base before they were connecting all over again.

Antonio's fiery mouth covered hers once more, his deviant tongue dipping into her mouth as the tip of his aching cock grazed her moist opening. It drove Maggie even further into a frenzy, her thighs clenching around Antonio's waist attempting to draw him even closer.

"Now." she demanded against the corner of his sensual mouth as his fingertips brushed the stray chestnut hair away from her pretty features so he could look into her eyes. "Please Antonio now."

Her breathing hitched as Antonio penetrated her with a devastating slowness. Her entire body quivered as she took every inch of him inside of her. He knew the instant he entered Maggie's supple body that he wasn't going to last long, all the touching and teasing had led up to this very moment and it was happening all at once. As the two of them melded together he understood what it was like to belong to someone, body, heart and soul. Her gratifying moans were echoing in his ears as he thrust into her again and again, that sensation of rapture growing with every stroke. She was already tensing around his hard cock, her teeth grazing his bottom lip tipping them both into climax. It swept over them in waves as Maggie's nails raked his cappuccino colored skin leaving imprints in their wake.

Her sensual blue eyes fixated on his as they peaked and suddenly once more Antonio was drowning in the love he felt for this woman. It was indescribable the way she made him feel. He felt so wanted when she was with him, like the whole world could stop turning and he wouldn't give a damn.

"Love you." he mumbled against the curve of her throat, his thumb ghosting over the shape of her pert pink lips.

Maggie's fingers were in his dark hair, tugging his head up to she could stare into those dark soulful eyes of his as she whispered the words.

"Love you too."


	51. Chapter 51

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kayla tells Roman the truth.

Roman had never been to Kayla's apartment before this evening but he had to say wasn't surprised by what he found there. Her walls were painted cream, the skirting boards a glossy black giving the place an art deco feel. It was the pictures however that intrigued him the most, he knew that she loved comic books, it had been one of the first things he had learned about her when he'd bought her a drink in Molly's that first night but he had underestimated how much. She'd mentioned going to Comic Con in the past but it wasn't until now that he understood how much she appreciated the amount of time and effort that went into each comic book.

There were original works on the wall, black and write hand drawn images created by the artists themselves on the blank sketch books he knew they took a long for fans to commission. There were tiny inked signatures on each image and he reviewed them with a small smile, his heart aching in his chest as he came to understand that she was letting him into her inner sanctum by seeing these things.

His bright blue gaze swept down to the fire place. It was a stunning piece of furniture and he found himself running his fingers over it as he admired the craftsmanship. His eyes came to linger on a stunning picture placed lovingly in a sleek black frame, it was of Kayla, her hair shorter than it was now. She was wearing a woolen hat and was hugging a middle aged man who resembled her only slightly, his glasses were square and thin as he grinned with a mirth that matched Kayla's.

"My father." Kayla submitted helpfully as she stood by her black leather couch. Her thumbs were looped through the belt hooks on her denim jeans as she rocked back and forth on her heels watching him with an intensity that suddenly made Roman feel uncomfortable. It took a second for him to realise that she was waiting to gauge his reaction, from the look on those pretty features of hers he came to understand that it as a habit that she wasn't aware of. He'd seen it before in survivors of domestic abuse and it killed him to think that once upon a time Kayla had been in that position. He had noted the amount of locks on the door when they had entered the apartment and he had come to understand that safety was important to her. It made a few things click into place for him, a few things he hadn't quite taken in before during their time together.

"The two of you look like you have a lot of fun together." he said, replacing the picture back on the mantelpiece.

He turned to face her, observing her mannerisms with a fresher interest. Her dark bangs fell into those pretty dark chocolate eyes of her as she wrapped her arms around her body, not quite meeting his gaze.

"The apartment suits you." he told her with a gracious smile before indicating to the framed comic book posters adorning the walls. "Of course you have my favorite Spiderman up there so I'm biased."

Her shoulders seemed to sag with relief at his words. He wanted to go to her and wrap her up in his arms but she wasn't ready for that. She could see it in the way her body was angled slightly away from him. There was a glimmer of a smile though, he saw a ghost of it across her lips as she peered at him through her bangs.

"Thank you." she murmured before exhaling deeply, the tension gathering up in her shoulders once more.

"I can go if that's what you need..." Sean said gesturing towards the door with his thumb, he half took a step towards it before Kayla reached out, her slender hand grasping his wrist gently. He paused, before tilting his head to look back at her as those gorgeous chocolate brown eyes met his.

"I want to stop leaving." she told him frankly. "I want to be able to spend the night with you without having to disappear."

Sean turned his attention to her fully, his azure eyes taking in that torn look on her face before he pursed his lips grimly.

"I want to understand." he said softly, his voice pleading as he spoke. "But I don't want it to hurt you."

Kayla nodded her understanding before she released his wrist, she tilted her head indicating for him to take a seat on the black leather couch. Roman obeyed politely, his arm coming to rest along the back of it as one leg came to rest upon the other. Kayla took the seat furthest away from him, her small hands pressed between her knees before he rose her eyes skyward as if praying for strength.

"I don't really talk about this." she began, her eyes downcast.

"You don't have to talk about it now." he assured her kindly. He could already guess what had happened, the signs were there and he was kicking himself for being an ass and not noticing them sooner. He'd been so caught up in this amazing, funny, cute woman that he had been blind to everything else.

"I do." she told him decidedly before drawing up her legs underneath her and angling her body towards him. This felt more of a conversation now, there was more give and take and Roman understood that despite the fact he would hate what he was going to hear, Kayla really needed to tell it.

"Over a year ago I was dating this guy." she told him, her cheeks flushing pink as she spoke. "He was dark and brooding, there was this fire in him you know and it just set everything ablaze. When the two of us were together it was like fire and gasoline, the sparks would fly. Over all it was a very physical relationship."

There was a twinge of jealousy inside of Sean, he could feel it bubbling up inside him like a leviathan as he struggled to keep his face impassive. He had known there were other men before him but he didn't like thinking about them. What him and Kayla had was beyond passionate, she made him feel things he'd never felt before and he hoped it was the same for her.

"Then it became more physical." she added, her voice lowering as she spoke. There was shame in her tone and it twisted him up inside to hear it. He could feel that sickness rising up in the pit of his stomach at the knowledge that some sick bastard had once laid his hands upon her.

"At the time I didn't realise how isolated I had become. I barely saw my father any more, I was working relief so I was never anywhere long enough to have roots. I only had him and when he started lashing out, I felt like I deserved it. I convinced myself I wasn't good enough for him, that I could be better."

There was a sadness in her voice and Sean couldn't help the feelings of sheer rage that were building up inside of him. He would kill this other man, he decided. He would beat him to death for making Kayla feel that she wasn't worth his time. He reached out a hand, clasping hers lightly in the space that rested between the two of them.

"By the time it became a regular thing, I wasn't in the right place to leave." she explained as her fingertip doodled a pattern on a long the life line of his palm. The connection was there, thrumming proud and strong between the two of them, he had known the instant he had met her that the two of them had a bond. She seemed to take solace in that, her voice was stronger now, her tone more open. "Gabby had begun to notice and so had Hermann. They said if I wanted to leave then they would help me and at first I didn't but then I found out I was pregnant."

There was silence from her then, Sean said nothing. He simply allowed her to continue sketching that idle pattern on his hand. There was no baby, he knew that. Her apartment was too tidy to have occupied a child and he knew that Kayla would never have considered giving up a child for adoption not with her surrogate family and her father behind her so he could guess what had happened. It made his eyes burn and he swallowed hard past the lump in his throat in an attempt to find something to make it all better but there was nothing, this was a story that had already happened and he couldn't take away the trauma that she had already experienced.

"The moment I found out it changed everything." she told him, her thumbs smoothing over the lines of his fingers as she spoke passionately. "It wasn't about me anymore. There was someone else to worry about and I knew that he didn't have the patience for a baby and I wasn't going to be one of those moms that allowed that to happen to her child but sadly it did. I came home one night and he'd been drinking. He'd found the pregnancy test, he didn't want a baby and I didn't want to have an abortion. He didn't give me a choice."

Kayla looked away, blinking rapidly. It hurt, after over a year it still cut her down to the bone and Sean couldn't imagine what sort of monster would do that to his own child. His fingers curled around hers, clasping her hand gently in a show of solidarity. His protective instincts were kicking into overdrive and it took every single once of his self control not to gather Kayla up in his arms and kiss away the hot salty tears that were tumbling down her cheeks. There was still more of this story to tell, he could feel it in the brimming connection between them.

"The neighbors must have heard me screaming, they called the police. It was Burgess and Atwater who attended the scene. He was gone by then, I didn't know where, I didn't care." she recounted, the light in her eyes dimming as she relived those moments. "Kim held my hand all the way to the hospital and when they took me into surgery she was the one who called my dad and told him what had happened."

Kayla looked down at their joined hands as Sean's thumb stroked lightly along the line of her knuckles.

"I have no idea how my dad found him." she told Sean, her head shaking in disbelief. "All anyone would tell me was that he was that they found him beaten in the street before they got there. Olinsky said my dad had been sparring with him at the boxing gym, gave him an alibi but I know my dad hasn't boxed in years."

"Tell me this guy is in prison." Sean whispered, his voice ragged and harsh as Kayla met his torrid azure eyes. "Or give me his name so that I can murder him myself."

He meant it, Kayla could see it as she held his gaze. There was remorse in those eyes of his, a sadness for what had happened to her mixed with that fierce desire if his to protect. It was that aspect of him that had drawn her to him, it was what made him such a great cop.

"He's in jail. Voight made sure that it would be a long uncomfortable stay." she promised him, squeezing his hand gently. Sean sighed deeply before entwining their fingers together, his thumb smoothing softly over the pulse point in her wrist.

"I like that." Kayla told him.

"I know." he murmured with the trace of a smile before reaching out with his free hand, his fingers chasing away a stray strand of her mahogany colored hair back behind her ear.

"You mean the world to me Sean." she told him, raising those doe brown eyes of hers to meet his as his gentle hand cupped her pretty features. "I couldn't tell you that because I had this thing building up inside of me and sometimes it makes me feel scared and anxious."

"I get that now." Sean told her, his thumb soothing over the apple of her cheek. "You need to know that I would never hurt you that way."

"You are the only person I've felt this safe with." she admitted, clasping his hand to her cheek with her own as she kissed his palm. "You'll have to be patient with me."

Sean leaned in, his lips inches away from Kayla's as he lingered within her proximity. That familiar current beginning to charge up between the two of them once more as he looked into her beautiful brown eyes seeing his entire future laying out right ahead of him as he spoke.

"We'll work through it together."


	52. Chapter 52

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things come to a head with Adrian Gish.

Maggie O'Neill: Did I hear that you arrested Adrian Gish today?

Antonio Dawson: And was then forced to release him.

Maggie O'Neill: I'm sorry to hear that. I bumped into him in the lobby before he gave me the creeps.

Antonio Dawson: What do you mean you bumped into him?

Maggie O'Neill: Well he bumped into me before I started shift. Scattered my bag all over the floor.

Antonio Dawson: I'm on the way down. I need to see your bag.

* * *

Kim Burgess: Are you alright? I saw you being bag searched earlier.

Maggie O'Neill: Antonio thought Gish put something in my bag when he bumped into me earlier.

Kim Burgess: Did he?

Maggie O'Neill: A matchbook. It only had one match in it. Antonio seems to think he was a message.

Kim Burgess: I hate the fact I'm not out there on the street with you I want to catch this guy so badly. Desk duty blows.

Maggie O'Neill: You'll be back soon. I get Roman until then so at least you don't have to worry about me.

Kim Burgess: Just make sure your careful out there today.

Maggie O'Neill: Promise x

* * *

Sean Roman: Is it me or is Platt being super weird today?

Maggie O'Neill: It's not you. She told me to have a blessed day.

Sean Roman: That is the best I've heard so far.

Maggie O'Neill: I have heard far better, I'll tell you the rest when we get to the Squad Car, you are gonna love it.

* * *

Antonio Dawson: I just heard about your Squad Car. Please tell me your alright?

Maggie O'Neill: Don't worry I'm fine, I wasn't standing near the car when it blew up. My prides hurt more than anything.

Antonio Dawson: I didn't think he would do anything this crazy. I didn't mean for you to get caught up in all of this.

Maggie O'Neill: Nobody got hurt so please don't let weigh on you.

Antonio Dawson: It just makes me want to catch the bastard even more.

Maggie O'Neill: Let me buy the tequila when it's done.

Antonio Dawson: Body shots? ;)

Maggie O'Neill: If you insist. ;)

* * *

Kayla Sharpe: Did I just hear your Squad Car got blown up by the guy that killed Shea?

Sean Roman: I was literally about to call you, I didn't want you to hear about it from somebody else. I'm ok, we weren't standing near the car when it blew up.

Kayla Sharpe: Thank God, I'm just glad that you are ok.

Sean Roman: I'll pop over tonight and you can check me out for yourself x

Kayla Sharpe: I would like that x

* * *

Trudy Platt: Did you blow up one of my Squad Cars?!

Maggie O'Neill: No...

Trudy Platt: I'll rephrase that. Did the guy you were tailing get free from your sight, sneak out of a bathroom window and then Molotov cocktailed your squad car?

Maggie O'Neill: That sounds about right.

Trudy Platt: Come and see me when you get back to the station house.

* * *

Maggie O'Neill: Did you seriously get me reassigned to desk duty?

Antonio Dawson: I think last night made it pretty clear that you are a target for this guy.

Maggie O'Neill: He's trying to rattle you!

Antonio Dawson: I know and it's working. I can't be worrying about you while I'm trying to catch this guy.

Maggie O'Neill: So your preventing ME from doing MY job in order to give YOU peace of mind.

Antonio Dawson: No that is not what I am doing. I'm just making sure you are out of the firing line. Platt agreed with that and you are doing your job, just from behind a desk for a few days.

Maggie O'Neill: We need to talk about this.

Antonio Dawson: I'm on the way out, we'll have to do it later.

* * *

Maggie O'Neill: Talk to your brother!

Gabby Dawson: I happen to agree with him. You nearly got blown up last night! Again I might add.

Maggie O'Neill: Low blow Gabby.

Gabby Dawson: This guy is dangerous Maggie, no one is safe until he's off the streets.

* * *

Kim Burgess: Am I hearing right? Have you been benched?!

Maggie O'Neill: Yep. I'm trying to make the best of it right now but I accidentally just stapled my sleeve to the piece of paper I was working on.

Kim Burgess: Meet me at the vending machine in ten minutes.

Maggie O'Neill: Thank God, the amount of filing that needs doing around this place is killing me.

* * *

Maggie O'Neill: Is everyone ok? Antonio isn't answering my texts!

Jay Halstead: Antonio's with Gabby at the moment, everyone's ok but it came pretty close...


	53. Chapter 53

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Antonio deals with the emotional aftermath of saving Gabby.

Antonio's heart was still pounding against his ribs, he could feel every single individual beat in his chest as he sat on that bench in the locker room, staring at his trembling hands. He'd manage to hide them from everyone else, he'd given fist bumps to his colleagues, clapped others on the back to thank them for their hard work, it was only now when he was alone that he allowed his mask to slip.

The cop in him was all steel and lead, he had allowed that aspect to overcome him when he knew Gabby was in danger. He had choked down the worry and the fear that had been raising up in his chest and forced himself to become logical and assertive. There had been no hesitation when he had killed Gish, he saw the situation, he assessed it and he made the smartest move he could considering the situation. It was only now in the aftermath that his brain began to tick over the possibilities.

Losing Gabby had never been an option, he couldn't imagine his life without his little sister and the devastation and anguish of how close he had come was tearing him up inside. If he'd been a moment too late, the whole scene in the elevator today would have gone differently. He couldn't think of that, he knew it, but it didn't stop those thoughts plaguing him. He took in a deep breath trying to steady his jangling nerves as he stared at his hands, willing them to stop shaking. His muscles were trembling underneath his skin and he understood it was the final surge of adrenaline leaving his system.

It had been too close today, much too close.

He heard the door to the locker room open and he didn't even have to raise his head to know that it was Maggie. He could sense her presence whenever she stepped into the room, it was a simply an aspect of their relationship that he had come to enjoy over the past few months. He didn't bother to hide his shaking hands, he didn't have to be the strong, tough cop he was in front of Atwater and Ruzek. He could be himself. Right now he was Antonio Dawson, the man, not the cop and deep down in his heart he was scared.

Maggie said nothing as she moved towards him, she came to sit on the bench in front of him, legs straddling the wood as she mirrored his position. She was still clad in her uniform, that short hair of hers pulled back into a small pony tail and held in place with bobby pins. Her slender hands reached out for his, clasping them gently in her own. Her thumbs caressed the line of his knuckles as he let out a shaky exhale.

"She's safe." Maggie murmured, tilting her head so that she could capture his gaze.

It hurt her to see him like this, there was grief swirling around inside of him, she could see it in those haunted dark brown eyes of his as he stared into the distance. He wasn't with her right now, he was somewhere else reliving those moments back in the elevator.

"Antonio." his name rolled off her tongue tenderly, bringing him back to the present once more. "Gabby is safe and alive because of you."

"I almost..." he began woefully before Maggie shushed him. Those gorgeous eyes of his were on her now, his heart wide open and bleeding as he betrayed his fear.

"But you didn't." she said firmly. "You took the shot and you put that evil son of a bitch in hell where he belongs."

They would lose no sleep over the death of Adrian Gish tonight. Just one look into those dead eyes of his was enough to give Maggie the chills when they had been in the same room together. Gabby had been right when she had told them that he was darkness, there had been an evil in that man that Maggie hadn't seen for the longest time. She would sleep better tonight knowing that he was off the streets.

"I used to be the one telling you we couldn't live on 'ifs' and 'buts'." He reminded her, a trace of a smile ghosting across his lips.

Maggie smiled at the truth behind those words. Back when they were partners she was usually the one that got lost in her own head, always second guessing her decisions, thoughts always chasing down the girls they couldn't save. When it came too much Antonio was always the first to spot it, the only person who could wade in and pull her out of her own mind.

Maggie raised his right hand to her lips, gently letting them brush over the back of his hand as she placed a soft kiss there. Antonio's breath hitched, there was a comfort in her touch, a message there just for him. He never doubted her, not in the years they had spent together and not in those two years apart. When he needed her she was there, always soothing over his rough edges. His life would be a barren fog without her, he would have lost himself to the darkness so many times if he didn't have her fighting in his corner.

"You did it." Maggie murmured against his knuckle as she pressed another kiss to them. "We're all fine, thanks to you."


	54. Chapter 54

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Antonio and Maggie talk about their relationship and their jobs.

Bellini was a gorgeous little hole in the wall restaurant located just around the corner from Molly's. The signage outside was wrought iron and discreet, Maggie had walked past it a million times over the past few months and had failed to notice it. It was only when she stepped inside the small locale did she come to appreciate it's true beauty. There were strings of small rustic fairy lights lining the walls illuminating them with a stunning burst of light. Her fingertips ran across the rivets in the almost black mahogany wood furniture, you could already feel the thrum of life in this place. The atmosphere was inviting and exclusive, the sweet serenade of jazz flooding her ears as the server greeted her with a welcoming smile.

Upon giving her name she was guided through the rows of tables to a reserved space alongside the lit up window. Already on the table was a bottle of chilled white perched along side two half full glasses. Antonio stood up as she approached, a devilish twinkle in his dark eyes as he took in the midnight blue, off the shoulder dress she was wearing. The sleek material clung to every contour of her athletic frame, accentuating her petite curves as she strode towards him in those sexy silver heels of hers, the matching clutch tucked demurely under her arm. That chestnut colored hair of hers fell loose in waves past her chin, making her face look softer in the light from those pretty lanterns. His heart was beating even harder in his chest as he pulled out her chair for her and waited until she was seated comfortably before returning to his own seat and prodding the glass of wine towards her.

Her cobalt blue eyes were on him drinking him in as she perched her chin upon her left hand reviewing him with delighted look in her eye. He knew she loved it when he dressed up, it was why he had worn his best black suit tonight, the one with the pale blue shirt and the regal looking red and purple tie his kids had gotten him for father's day this year. His dark hair was parted on the left and slicked back into a neat style that suited his clean shaven, handsome features. The way she looked at him made him feel revered, he reached out for her hand compulsively, threading his fingers through her as that beautiful smile of hers graced her pert pink lips.

"I must have walked past this place a million times." Maggie said, her gaze straying to the beauteous artwork on the opposite wall as she studied it.

"I found it a couple of days ago." Antonio explained as he followed her eye line and smiling at the painting that had captured her interest. "I asked Al to recommend somewhere to take you with good wine and good food and he told me about this place."

"You both have exceptionally good taste." Maggie told him as she raised the glass of wine to her lips and tasted it for the first time.

_Thank you Al._ Antonio thought as he watched the enjoyment creep across his lover's pale features. Not only had Al recommended the restaurant, he had also specified a particular wine which he thought would cater to Maggie's unique tastes. Antonio had taken his advice gratefully, he wanted to make tonight special for Maggie. He wanted her to know how much he loved and appreciated her.

"Can I ask what prompted this?" Maggie asked him as his thumb caressed along the curve of her delicate hand.

Antonio raised his dark, smoldering gaze until their eyes met before speaking.

"Do you know we've never been on a date?" Antonio asked her lightly.

There was silence for a moment as Maggie stared back at him blankly, the cogs inside of her head turning as she considered his words.

"That can't be right." she murmured thoughtfully. "We've been to Molly's and had lunch..."

Antonio shook his head as she trailed off, looking at him dumbfounded.

"The only time we've ever come close to anything like this was that case where we were tracking El Culebra, a few years ago." he informed her causing Maggie to tip her head back and laugh at the memory.

It was a divine sound, it made his whole world light up hearing it. It was like God had taken a little piece of heaven from the sky above and put it inside of this beautiful woman.

"I completely forgot about 'The Snake'." she told him using her fingers to make quotation marks as she cracked up.

"It wasn't until we caught him in the john that I realized the reason he was nicknamed that." Antonio recounted, trying to smother his own snigger behind the palm of his hand.

"I didn't know what to do. Poor guy just standing there with his pants down by his ankles." Maggie spluttered trying to stifle her own musical giggle. "It just popped out of my mouth."

Antonio cleared his throat in an attempt to imitate her voice.

"I guess we know why they call you 'The Snake'." he howled with laughter, his hand banging nosily on the table causing the silver cutlery to vibrate.

"I honestly thought it was because he had a tattoo of one somewhere." Maggie said holding her hands up as if to own her past mistake.

"You have this way of making me laugh no matter what's going on in my life." Antonio informed her, shaking his head.

"I am aim to please." she returned, her eyebrows arching in that teasing manner of hers, nearly setting Antonio off all over again.

"Shall we order before we get ourselves thrown out of this place for being too boisterous?" he asked her knowingly before pushing the leather bound menu towards her.

Maggie reached out and placed her palm down on the menu preventing Antonio from opening it.

"Actually there's something else we need to talk about first." she told him, her tone becoming more serious as he rose his head to look at her.

He could feel that dread twisting in his stomach as her words filtered through to his ears. Antonio clasped his hands together on top of the menu, his lips pursed together grimly as he waited for Maggie to speak. He had spent over twenty four hours avoiding this conversation but he knew Maggie would force him to have it eventually. She wasn't the type of person to let things slide.

"You benched me." Maggie said calmly, her cobalt blue gaze meeting his with a sultry pout.

"For your own good." he pointed out, with a knowing look in his eye.

Maggie frowned, she hadn't expected him to play ball. If he thought he was in the right he would stick to his guns but he had to know although it may have been for a good reason in his own mind that she wouldn't let him get away with it. They're relationship was meant to be a partnership, it didn't work when one pulled rank over the other.

"You can't just go over my head and expect me to be ok with it." Maggie told him, her voice hitching in exasperation.

Antonio straightened his spine at the challenge, his voice struggling to stay controlled as he spoke despite the fact every single emotion that he had experienced through out the Gish case was warring inside of him threatening to erupt.

"If I had asked you to step back and spend the rest of your shift behind a desk would you?" he asked her, making it very clear that he already knew the answer to the question.

"Antonio, it's my job to be on the streets..." she barely got the words out before he cut her off.

"Maggie he blew up your Squad car." Antonio reminded her, his tone full of ire as he spoke, those dark eyes of his blazing. "By some small grace of God you and Roman weren't in it."

"When the two of us got together we promised that it wouldn't be like this. That our relationship wouldn't effect our jobs." Maggie reminded him, her tone firm as she spoke. "I feel that you wouldn't have done that if it was anybody else."

"I know your using words from that negotiator course." he informed her, giving her a direct look. "You forget I took it too."

"Is it working?" Maggie queried, leaning back in her chair and displaying open body language for the first time since this conversation had begun.

Already he could feel his defensiveness beginning to subside. She had called him on his shit and he had reacted the same way a cop would to a perp. He struggled with that side of himself sometimes, it was protective and assertive especially when it came to Maggie but the man in him rationalized he couldn't be like that with her.

"Yes." he responded wearily before he put his hands on the back of his head, rubbing it with his palms. "I feel like you may be right but you have to understand how it feels to be in that position. You were a clear target for him."

"Antonio." His name rolled of her tongue as she spoke softly, willing him to look at her once more. "How do you think I feel every time you throw yourself into a case with Intelligence? You've been shot twice while I've been away and I would do anything to make sure it doesn't happen a third time but I know it's part of your job and part of who you are."

Her words were honest, he could see the truth of it shining in her cobalt eyes as he reached out for her hand, curling his fingers around it so he could clasp it gently.

The shoe was on the other foot now and that was what his problem was. With Laura he never had to worry but with Maggie, she was always in the firing line the same way he was. Twenty four hours ago he had reacted out of fear and he needed to work on that, he knew he did. He couldn't afford to be this overbearing man, it would push her away and he needed her in his life as much as he need oxygen to breath.

"I'm not perfect." he warned her, conceding to her point finally. "But I will do my best."

Maggie smiled at him tenderly before raising his hand to her lips and placing a kiss upon it before she spoke.

"That's the only thing I can ask."


End file.
